


Hate That I Love You

by Psiah



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/F, Future AU, Heartbreak, Love, Recovery, Repression, Science Babies, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-02-04 10:33:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 56,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18602761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psiah/pseuds/Psiah
Summary: Ruby Rose had a happy life. She was the youngest Professor to ever teach at Beacon, married to the beautiful Blake Belladonna, and raising a wonderful almost-five-year-old daughter. She only wished that she could hear more from her sister (Yang Xiao Long) and her former partner / sister's girlfriend (Weiss Schnee) than the occasional confirmation that they were still alive.But, when, after six years of silence, Yang shows up on her doorstep unannounced, she may find herself dealing with far more than she bargained for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place within the world of RWBY, by Rooster Teeth. All events up to almost the very end of Volume 3 remain canon to this story, and this story contains spoilers for things that aren't revealed until Volume 6. You should really watch the show before reading, up through Volume 3 at a minimum. Fortunately, the show is officially freely available to watch on Rooster Teeth's website, as well as places like Youtube. Please, go out and support the original work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many of the chapters on this story will be relatively short compared to what I've seen of other fanfiction. This is simply how the story naturally flowed for me. With an average length of just over 1300 words (at least, for the first 14 chapters, chapters are getting steadily longer as the story progresses) I find myself in the company of Douglas Adams, and his average chapter length for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. What they lack in length, they should make up for in quantity, however. This story will have a minimum of 52 chapters (including epilogues), and will most likely top 80k words. I do, however, understand that a long wait for a short chapter can be frustrating. As a result, I will be clustering my chapter releases together. Keep an eye on the end-of-chapter notes if you'd like to get an idea of when things may be released.
> 
> A more personal note:
> 
> This story sprung into my mind out of nowhere. It forced itself out of me, and I began writing it on instinct. In a little over two days, I had written over 20,000 words, and, in the immortal words of Anna Nalick, in her song "Breathe (2AM)", I had finally gotten just enough down that it was "[...] no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to." I had always thought that line was beautiful, but never before had I *lived* it.
> 
> As I looked back over what my subconscious had written, I realized that I had a deeply personal story, delving into pain and loss that I thought I'd mostly suppressed, but realized I could not. This story is informed by my own experiences. The pain the characters feel within was my own, once. That makes it terrifying for me to actually release, but I absolutely need to, anyway. This is part of my own healing process.
> 
> I never intended my first foray into the world of fanfiction to be this heavy, but this work has been the first one I've felt ready to share, and it is, at the time of writing, far and away the longest thing I've ever written.
> 
> And so, I bare my soul to you.
> 
> I hope it finds you well.

Ruby Rose sat in the easy chair in her apartment living room, quietly recollecting as she held a photograph. It was from six years ago. She and Yang were making goofy faces at the camera, while Weiss and Blake shared a look in the background.

“I’m taking Violet to bed.” Blake’s voice broke Ruby out of the trance, and she looked up to see her wife walking up, sleeping daughter hoisted onto her shoulder. “She’s all tuckered out.”

Ruby gave a warm smile, and stood up to give each a smooch between their kitty ears.

“I’ll join you in a bit.” She said.

Blake looked down and spied the photo Ruby had tried to casually hide along her side.

“Still thinking about them?” Blake asked, nuzzling into Ruby’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Ruby replied, shooting a glance back to the photo. “I miss Yang. I miss Weiss, too.”

“If they wanted us in their lives,” Blake began, her voice carrying a great deal of sadness, “they’d respond to our messages once in a while.”

“I know…” Ruby sighed. “Just, we were so close. I know they must be having a lot of fun on their grand adventures, and I’m not going to pretend I’m not a little jealous of that, but… would it really hurt either of them to at least write once in a while?”

Blake looked up and shook her head.

“It wouldn’t be hard for them,” she said, “but they don’t want to. I know she’s your sister, but, we’re all adults now and… they made their choice, and we made ours.”

Ruby let out a slightly more indignant sigh.

“We’re happy, right?” Blake continued. “I hope they are too, but if they don’t want to be involved in our happiness, what can we do?”

“We  _ are _ happy.” Ruby’s smile stretched from ear to ear. “I love you, Blake.”

Ruby kissed Blake, softly and tenderly, trying to convey that love through her lips.

“I know.” Blake said, hint of a smile forming.

Though she never said it, Ruby was sure Blake loved her too. She was just really bad about talking about things, or voicing her concerns, so this was a thing they did. Ruby didn’t really mind, since, even if Blake wouldn’t say it, she did a great job of showing it.

Still, she wished one day Blake would find a way to put it into words. She’d stopped holding out hope, considering last month they’d celebrated their fifth anniversary and next month they’d celebrate their daughter’s fifth birthday, but if some day, years or decades from now, Blake would finally say those three words, it would make Ruby very happy.

But she didn’t  _ need _ her to.

It didn’t hurt.

Not  _ that _ much, at least.

“Don’t stay up too late.” Blake said, tossling Ruby’s hair with her free hand. “You know you scheduled a sparring demonstration for your students tomorrow. With  _ Pyrrha _ . And I know how you hate to lose.”

Ruby let out a little chuckle.

“I won’t. Good night you two!” Ruby gave each of them another smooch between the ears before she allowed them to leave.

Then she was alone again, with little more than a ticking clock to break the silence. She ventured another glance down at the photo.

It was taken the day they left, back when they were all much closer. Yang promised to send back plenty of pictures and stories, a promise that lasted no more than three days. Yang and Weiss were going off to explore the world, and have some adventure before Weiss would be forced into taking over the SDC. They were a huntress power couple, two of the strongest fighters in all of Remnant, and they were in love. Ruby and Blake had their own responsibilities, though. Ruby had just accepted a position as a professor at Beacon, despite having only just graduated, and Blake… well, Blake had had too much excitement for one lifetime. She’d chosen the relative peace and quiet of Vale. To this day, Ruby still didn’t know much about Blake’s past before Beacon, but it didn’t make her love her wife any less.

She remembered how, after the photo, she’d given Yang a fist-bump with their matching metal arms, and how Yang had scooped Weiss into a bridal carry as they boarded the airship. She remembered how that had all made them laugh with such childlike glee. She remembered the ring burning a hole in her pocket, the one she’d waited another two months to present to Blake. The one she should have talked to her sister about before she left.

They were all so happy back then.

But it was the last time she’d spoken to her sister, or her former partner.

And only days before the last time she’d heard from either of them.

If it weren’t for Winter, she wouldn’t even be sure the two were still alive.

Her reminiscing was interrupted by a sudden knock on the door. A strange, metallic knock, as if someone was beating on it with their weapon.

She checked her pocket watch: 9:37pm. Who on Remnant would be knocking at this hour? She clenched a fist, prepared her Aura, and popped open the door of her weapon locker, so that Crescent Rose would be within arm’s reach. Sure, she also had an SMG hidden inside of her silver left arm, but with the sorts of enemies Ruby had made over the years, she could never be too safe.

A look through the peephole revealed only empty hallway. Perhaps they’d left?

As she began to step away from the door, she heard knocking again, this time from the bottom of the door. Blake had popped her head out of the bedroom, and was giving Ruby a very confused look. Ruby gave her a shrug, then turned again, before carefully opening the door.

There was a mess of golden hair in a puddle lying in the middle of the hallway. It smelled familiar. It smelled like her uncle Qrow. It smelled like Alcohol.

“Y-Yang?” Ruby stammered.

“Hhhheya Rubes.” The puddle slurred, gesturing with a metal, yellow hand. “Can I crash on yyyour couch or sooomething?”

Ruby sighed and shot a glance back to Blake, who had undoubtedly heard the whole exchange. Blake answered with an uneasy shrug, and Ruby kneeled down to pick her sister off the floor. She threw Yang’s arm over her shoulder and began to stand up.

“What happened to you?” Ruby asked as she began to shuffle her sister towards the couch. “Where’s Weiss?”

“Lllllotsa stuff, Rubyroo.” Yang chuckled to herself. “Heh. Rrrrubyrrrroooo!”

“Yang.” Ruby said demandingly, unceremoniously letting her sister down on the couch.

“Weeeeee’ll talk about in the morning.” Yang said with a dismissive wave of her hand, slumping into the couch. “Y’got any booze?”

“Yang, I am not going to give you any alcohol.” Ruby said in a hushed shout. “I haven’t seen you this drunk since…”

She didn’t bother to finish. Yang had already passed out. With a sigh, she went into the kitchen took the three bottles of wine and the pack of beer they had and locked them in her weapons locker, because right now, those seemed more dangerous to Yang than Crescent Rose would be.

As she walked back down the hallway, she opened the door to Violet’s room just a crack, to make sure she was still asleep, then continued over to Blake, who was still hanging onto the bedroom door frame. She shot Blake a pleading look, which was met with a shake of the head. Blake’s face was clouded with a mix of emotions, and Ruby suspected her own was, too.

“Speak of the devil…” Blake whispered. It was a very sad whisper.

Ruby nodded, pulled Blake into a hug, then took her hand and led her to bed for what would be a very restless night for both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Yang Xiao Long slowly became aware of the fact that there was a great deal of light shining on her face, and it did not help at all with the pounding in her head. She raised her right, metal arm to block the light.

“Mommy! Aunty Yang’s awake!” a childlike voice called from her left. That certainly didn’t help with the headache.

“Thank you dear.” She heard Blake’s voice say, before hearing the sound on an exaggerated kiss.

That was a voice she hadn’t heard in a long time. Was she dreaming? Was Weiss about to wake her up with another lecture about her drinking habits?

Nah, dreams weren’t this painful. Nor was she ever this thirsty during a dream.

So just what the hell was going on?

With a great deal of effort, she pushed herself to a seated position and pried her eyes open.

This wasn’t the mansion.

She was sitting on the couch in small apartment. Across from her was a kitchen with light pouring out of it from a window, which stung her eyes. She shifted to the right side of the couch, out of the way of the sun, and her eyes finally focused to see a short-haired Blake standing in the entrance to the kitchen, staring at her and holding a small faunus girl that, aside from the purple hair, very much looked to be Blake’s daughter. Why would she have a daughter? Hadn’t she been dating Ruby?

She blinked a few times, and the vision didn’t go away. Yang must not have dreamed that part where she flew to Vale. She never dreamed when she got this drunk, anyway, but it still felt like a dream. Still, she was pretty sure she’d been trying to find  _ Ruby _ , so why was Blake here, with a kid that was probably hers. That would mean either she broke things off with Ruby at some point to have a kid, or the two had adopted one that just looked like Blake. The former wouldn’t explain why Blake would be here, and the latter didn’t really mesh with what she and Blake had talked about back when… back when they were together.

“You should probably eat.” Blake said, gesturing towards the coffee table in front of her with her ‘free’ hand, where she was holding a scroll. “It will probably help.”

Yang glanced downwards to see a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast in front of her, as well as a bottle of a sports drink (with Pyrrha’s face on it) staring back at her. She grunted her thanks and began to eat the cold breakfast in front of her, knowing it was just what she needed to help with a hangover like this one.

Partway through her breakfast, she heard a giggle, and looked up to find a pair of small silver eyes staring up at her. The girl was running her fingers through her long, purple hair.

“Your eyes match my hair!” The girl giggled.

“Violet.” Blake’s voice said sternly. “I told you Aunty Yang isn’t feeling well. Leave her alone.”

The silver glint disappeared as the girl rushed back to Blake.

Yang was now even more confused. Silver eyes were ridiculously rare. Ruby was literally the only person she knew of who had them, and she’d spent the last six years traveling the world. Had they found some other cat-faunus to act as a sperm donor, and this was Ruby’s kid? No, it couldn’t be. Ruby had always been so vehemently against the idea of pregnancy, hadn’t she? Could she have changed her mind? Yang must have missed a lot.

She decided that answer still made the most sense.

Yang looked up to find the girl--Violet--running circles around Blake while holding a toy airship and making engine noises. Blake, meanwhile, seemed to be in the middle of replying to a text.

“Is Ruby here?” Yang asked. Her sister was really the only person she’d feel comfortable talking to right now, even if it had been so long.

“She has a job.” Blake offered noncommittally. The answer was a pretty clear “no”.

Yang ate in silence for a few more minutes, watching Violet run about the room with her toy. As the girl shot down the hallway, Yang finally turned back to Blake, who was still standing there, engrossed in her scroll.

“Cute kid.” Yang grunted. “Didn’t think Ruby was willing to have any.”

Blake looked up, and raised an eyebrow at Yang.

“She didn’t.”

Yang hrmed pensively, took a sip of her drink, then locked eyes with Blake again.

“Where’d you find a donor with silver eyes, then?” Yang asked.

“You… didn’t read  _ any _ of our messages, did you?” Blake asked.

Yang shrugged in response. She was extremely guilty as charged. She’d been avoiding her former teammates for a long time. Reading Ruby’s messages would mean wanting to respond to them. Responding to them would have made it hard not to admit something had gone wrong. It would mean dealing with the fact that the life she had was a lie.

And yet, here she was, in Vale. Something clearly had gone wrong, and while she wasn’t hiding it from herself, there was no way she could hide it from Ruby. Maybe that’s why her drunken mind had carried her here, to a place where she couldn’t run from her problems anymore.

“She delayed the wedding, you know.” Blake said, causing Yang to look up, and notice the ring on Blake’s left hand.

She should have been happy for her sister, and her best friend. Well, former best friend, at this point. Instead, seeing the ring was like a dagger in her chest.

“She really wanted you to be there.” Blake continued quietly. “She pushed it back months in hopes that you’d respond.”

Yang remembered something that hadn’t quite sat right with her when she looked around the room earlier. She looked over to the photo frame next sitting over the easy chair and searched through the images. Now that she was awake enough to focus, she could see it clearly.

It was a picture of very pregnant Blake kissing Ruby. Both were wearing wedding dresses.

Yang felt her heart sink into the pit of her stomach.

“I’m sorry.” Yang said, staring down into her hands. A thought entered her mind that she couldn’t help but voice. “What about you? Did you want me there?”

Blake looked away and her ears went flat. She seemed to need a moment to gather her response.

“No.” Blake eventually said. “You’d walked out of my life twice at that point. You clearly didn’t want to be in it.”

Only now did Blake return to looking at her. Briefly. Blake’s scroll buzzed and she looked down and frowned.

“Yang…” Blake said shaking her head in disbelief. “What on Remnant did you do to Weiss?”

Yang rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.

“I wish I could remember.”


	3. Chapter 3

Ruby Rose limped back to the faculty locker room. Her mind had not at all been on that sparring match. Pyrrha wiped the floor with her, embarrassing her in front of their students. Normally, she could hold her own against her up until the point where she brought out her Maiden powers (not that she would ever use them unless it was strictly necessary), but this time, she hadn’t landed even a single hit.

Why did Yang have to pick last night to come crashing back into her life?

“Are you okay, Ruby?” Pyrrha already knew the answer.

“I’m fine.” Ruby lied, knowing full well Pyrrha, one of her oldest friends and comrades, would see right through her. Still, she put on the show, and made her work for it.

“Then what was going on in that sparring match?” Pyrrha asked, eyes full of concern.

“I… was distracted.” Ruby explained. “Yang showed up around 10 last night. She was  _ very _ drunk.”

“Yang?!” Pyrrha asked, shock plastered across her face. “Is she alright? What about Weiss?”

“Haven’t heard from Weiss yet.” Ruby confirmed, opening her locker and seeing all the missed calls on her scroll. “Speak of the devil.”

“So Weiss isn’t…” Pyrrha began, and Ruby shook her head in response. “That does not bode well.”

“Tell me about it.” Ruby offered a weak smile. “I should take this. Peter’s got next period free, right? Could you ask him to cover for me for a few minutes until I get back?” 

“Of course Ruby.” Pyrrha responded before racking her weapons in her own locker and patting Ruby’s shoulder. “Good luck.”

“Thanks. I’m going to need it.” Ruby said as she opened her scroll. 52 missed calls from one Weiss Schnee. They’d apparently started around 9 AM. A few hours after Weiss would normally wake up, even adjusting for the time zone difference between Vale and Atlas. Ruby pulled out her pocket watch and saw that it was almost noon now. She sighed and tapped one of the missed calls, which caused her scroll to start dialing.

The call was picked up almost immediately. From the noise, Ruby was glad she hadn’t had time to hold it up to her ear yet.

“Where the hell is your sister!” Weiss shouted over a weird hum in the background of the call.

“Hello to you too, Weiss.” 

“All I have to go on is a charge for a one-way flight to Vale.” Weiss continued unabated. “We both know why she’d be going back there. So tell me where my girlfr…  _ ex _ -girlfriend is so I can rip her stupid blond head off!”

“Weiss, calm down.” Ruby said, adopting her professor voice. It worked better for when she was talking to people who were… overly emotional. “I’m not going to tell you anything in response to a threat like that. What happened?”

“So she is there!” Weiss snapped. “You’re harboring her!”

“Weiss.” Ruby demanded calmly. “What. Happened.”

“Nothing!” Weiss said quickly, pausing before adding “She hasn’t told you anything?”

There was a crinkling sound from the other end of the call.

“No, she hasn’t.” Ruby confirmed. “What was that sound just now?”

“It was nothing.” Weiss lied.

“Weiss.” Ruby commanded.

“Okay, fine… it’s… it’s an ice pack.”

The possibilities flew through Ruby’s mind. None of them were good.

“You need an ice pack…  _ whyyyyy?” _ Ruby drew out the last word, trying to prompt Weiss to respond.

“I don’t.” Weiss huffed.

“Weiss.” Ruby commanded again. It seemed to be working, at least, even after all these years.

“Uggggh!” Weiss groaned over the call. “You wanna know why? You  _ really _ wanna know why? It’s because your stupid, bitch-blond sister hit me. I broke up with her and she  _ hit me! _ With the robot arm! Can you believe her? I lost a godsdamned tooth!”

Ruby’s blood ran cold. It was one of the worst possibilities she’d come up with, and if Weiss had been hurt by a single hit… well, either it had been a lot more than one hit, or Weiss had been drunk. She’d never been able to keep her Aura up when drunk. The state Yang was in last night suggested she had been drunk, too. None of this was even remotely okay.

“She stayed with us last night.” Ruby said coldly into the scroll. “I’ll text you the address, if you still want to kill her. You better hurry, though.”

Ruby took a deep breath before finishing.

“I might beat you to it.”


	4. Chapter 4

Yang Xiao Long stayed mostly silent. She really wished she remembered what she’d said, or perhaps done, to Weiss. She was pretty sure they’d broken up, but she couldn’t be entirely certain. She kept her eyes locked to her own hands, ignoring the small child animatedly dancing about the room. Flexing them, she noticed a dark red stain under the knuckle casing of her right index finger. She hoped it was ketchup or something.

She knew better than to think it was ketchup or something.

“Good news for you.” Blake broke the silence. “Ruby says she’s on her way here to talk to you. Leaving work early for it.”

Yang looked up, and saw that Blake was very much trying to tell her, with her eyes, that it was not at all good news. She probably just wasn’t saying it because of the child in the room.

“She’s asking me to take Violet for a walk.” Blake continued. “To give you two some privacy.”

That sealed the deal. Whatever Yang had done, Ruby knew about it. Yang  _ really _ didn’t like getting yelled at by Ruby. It was really hard to make her yell, so when she did it, she really meant it.

Still it was probably the only way she was going to find out.

Blake gathered Violet, helped her put her shoes on, and opened the door, only to be showered in rose petals.

Ruby must have ran here. That was a bad sign. Violet would not be giggling about it if she had any idea why.

She watched Ruby bend down to kiss her daughter between the ears, and stand up to kiss her wife. It would have looked like a tender moment if Ruby’s flesh right-hand was not trembling in a closed fist. At least she wasn’t carrying Crescent Rose with her.

Yang could only stare mutely at her impending doom as the family exchanged “Love you’s” and “see you soons”. After Ruby shooed out her family and closed the door behind her, the temperature dropped to zero.

“You.” Ruby said coldly.

Oh no. this was going to be worse than yelling.

“M-me?” Yang stuttered.

“You disappear for six. Fucking. Years.” Ruby punctuated each pause with the crack of an individual knuckle. “You leave your  _ sister _ and your  _ best friend _ in the dark. You missed our wedding. You missed the birth of our child. You missed every moment you could have been a part of.”

Ruby’s eyes began to well with tears, but the absolutely  _ deadly _ glare remained. 

“You cut us out.” Ruby continued. “And yet for every. Single. Moment. I hoped you’d come back.”

The implication was that this was no longer true. Yang was downright terrified about what she might have done.

“Last night, when I dragged your drunken ass in, part of me was elated.” Ruby’s voice continued to seethe with barely suppressed anger. “Yes, I was mad at you, but I was glad just to have you back in my life. But.”

This was not going to be a good “but”.

“You only came crawling back to me, back into my life, after you went off the godsdamned deep end.” Ruby’s voice began to raise, cracking a little. “You came back hoping that I’d protect you from your billionaire girlfriend. Who was my best friend. Who was my partner. Who you.  _ Beat _ .”

Yang opened her mouth, as if to say something, but couldn’t find the words. She tried again a few times. It was definitely blood on her hand. Weiss’s blood. She felt sick. What could possibly have made her snap like that? She knew she’d been drunk, but…

“Well?” Ruby demanded. “Are you going to say something?”

After a few long seconds, Yang managed to choke out a word.

“I-I…”

Something flew up from the floor, and Yang activated her Aura to deflect it. It bounced off harmlessly. It was the airship Violet had been playing with. It hadn’t actually been a danger to her. That meant Ruby was testing her. That meant…

Yang barely ducked the punch that flew at her face. She was less fortunate with the knee that knocked into her gut, forcing her off the couch. She barely got her arms up before the next blow came in a flurry of Rose petals bouncing off the wall. She blocked this one as the metal-on-metal made a metallic thunk, but the force of the blow pushed her back into the coffee table, which broke under her feet, causing her to stumble. The next blow was a kick to her side. Which she did not block in time.

Yang stumbled over to the hallway. She needed to get her bearings and it’d help a whole lot if Ruby could only come at her from one angle. Ruby had always been fast, but when the hell did she start hitting this  _ hard? _ As she stepped back into the hallway, Yang blocked an attack, and launched a jab of her own. She was known as one of the best pugilists in Remnant. Her punches struck faster than a King Taijitu. Maybe Ruby could block it, but she surely wouldn’t be able to dodge. Yang was very confused as her punch struck nothing but air, and was rewarded with a solid blow to her gut.

She adopted a more defensive posture as Ruby forced her back down the hallway. Throwing a few punches back Ruby’s way, but all of them were either deflected or dodged. When did Ruby get so good? Yang had been the one out exploring the world, out being a Huntress. She should have wiped the floor with a homebody like Ruby was going to become working as a professor. Even back when they graduated, Yang was considered the stronger hand-to-hand fighter by far. Instead, she found herself pressed as far back as she could go in her sister’s hallway, getting absolutely demolished by the younger Ruby.

Ruby, who had never even been able to fight well without her precious Crescent Rose.

A heavy kick knocked the wind out of her, and Yang found herself falling through the air surrounded by shattered glass. There was a rapidly receding brick building in front of her, with a broken window on the top floor, from which emerged a red blur. Concrete cracked under her back as she hit the ground.

They were out in the open now. With the red blur approaching, she knew she’d have to change tactics to stand a chance. She flicked her left wrist, glad to have forgotten to remove Ember Celica, and popped the gun port on her right. A few shotgun blasts slowed Ruby as she had to change course to avoid them.

It didn’t slow her much, though.

With the added maneuverability, Yang was fairing a bit better. Changing angles and approaches meant that Ruby was now having a hard time hitting her, too, and the extra range of her blasts kept her sister at bay. Still, she had yet to land a single hit, and a miscalculated dodge ended up with her taking one right on the chin. Yang’s Aura was running low, and she knew it. It was time to bring out the big guns. Her hair caught fire and her eyes went red. A single blow  _ should _ be enough to take out Ruby’s Aura now, if only she could land it. She wondered if this would finally be enough to cause Ruby to pop out the gun on her own arm.

It wasn’t. It did get the red blur to proceed more cautiously, however, which gave Yang some much needed breathing room.

In a fight between huntresses, a few seconds was an eternity. They both went many eternities without either managing to land another blow. It didn’t last forever, though. Ruby somehow got behind Yang, and locked her arm in a bar. Where’d she learn that?

Yang couldn’t escape it, either, despite supposedly being that much stronger than Ruby. She was left with one choice. She popped off her arm and attempted to slip away.

She didn’t get far before Ruby’s boot found her face.

Yang felt her Aura break as she hit the ground. The fire in her hair died. She rolled over with a groan, to see Ruby, who still had not taken a single hit, toss her arm away and slowly march over. Further resistance was pointless. From the look on her sister’s face, Yang figured she’d soon find herself waking up in the hospital... right up until Ruby’s arm’s gun port finally popped open.

“Momma!” A scared little girl cried out. It drew both Yang and Ruby’s gaze. Violet was running over and crying. Blake was standing a few feet back, both hands covering her mouth as she sobbed. Ruby’s expression softened as she leaned over to hug her daughter.

Perhaps her death would be averted.

Violet began to speak to Ruby, but Yang couldn’t hear it over the sudden roar of an airship above them. A white streak slammed into the ground, not even bothering to slow herself.

Weiss was here.

She had a real shiner on her left cheek, even after what her Aura had healed. It looked like her split lip was almost completely fixed.

She also had Myrtenaster drawn and ready in her left hand.

Sirens wailed in the distance.

“Great.” Yang choked out. “The gang’s all here. Now you can kill me together.”


	5. Chapter 5

Ruby Rose leaned her head back against the cell wall, trying not to sob too loud. Yang was in the adjacent cell, staring silently at the ground. Blake was sitting next to Weiss, outside the cells in the small holding area of this small police station. Blake was sobbing too, and clutching Violet close to her chest, who, from the small heaves of her shoulders, seemed to be crying as well.

The cells were just a formality. They couldn’t hold Ruby in, and they certainly wouldn’t hold Yang once she regained her Aura. Even if both of their arms had been confiscated as a safety precaution.

Ruby covered her face with her remaining arm. She’d only expected to hit Yang once. Maybe twice. She’d get it out of her system, then go talk to Weiss and let her know she’d beat up her sister so she didn’t have to, and then they could all work on being friends again. But... she lost control. She never expected the fight to leave the apartment. She really hadn’t intended to let Violet and Blake see her so… unhinged.

It hadn’t just been Weiss who she’d been fighting for. 

But the sight of her daughter had broken her. 

It was always hard to see Violet cry. Part of her was proud that, her daughter, terrified of what was going on, had ran towards the problem to help, rather than away from it in fear, but she never wanted her daughter to be afraid of her. She already knew Violet was brave. Recklessly so. And she loved that about her, but she was supposed to be the example. She was always supposed to be there for Violet when she needed help. She was supposed to be the Hero.

She wasn’t supposed to be the villain Violet came to stop.

Seeing Blake cry hadn’t helped matters one bit, either.

Ruby had failed them. Years of looking for the best in everyone, of turning the other cheek, had resulted in her bottling up her frustrations until they exploded. It was something she’d only done once before, on the day she lost her arm.

At least that time, it had been unleashed on someone who deserved it.

Yang had messed up, but this was definitely an overreaction.

If this happened to any of her colleagues, she would have made sure they saw a therapist. Why had she never seen one herself? Perhaps because that might be admitting she wasn’t the perfect, forgiving hero everyone thought she was?

Well, that bridge was crossed, and burned. She promised herself that she would get professional help as soon as she could. For Violet’s sake, and for Blake’s.

She heard Yang sigh from the other cell.

“I’m not going to say I didn’t deserve that.” Yang said. “But I don’t want you to be…”

Ruby looked up as Yang tried to find the words. Yang was waving her hand in a circle as she tried to continue.

“Look.” Yang continued. “I guess there’s blood on my hands, now,” Weiss scoffed in the background, but Yang continued, “but it’s not worth letting you drag yourself down with me. Did you get it out of your system? Can we call a truce?”

Ruby sighed and nodded.

“I got it out of me, yeah.”

“Good.” Yang said with a hollow laugh. “Because you kicked my ass without any weapons. I don’t stand a chance anymore! Where did you learn how to do that?”

“Pyrrha.” Ruby shrugged. “We spar regularly.”

“You must beat her all the time, if you’re fighting like that.” Yang said with some awe.

“Hardly.” Ruby let out a heavy, exhausted chuckle. “I’ve only ever won twice, and I had to cheat for one of those. Even then she’s not allowed to use her semblance on my arm. We’ve both left Glynda in the dust, though.”

“Glynda?” Yang asked. “You mean… Goodwitch? No way, she’s like, unbeatable!”

“She’s got a good semblance.” Ruby offered. “But she’s quite beatable. She isn’t really any better than you.”

“Really, you two?” Weiss huffed. “That’s what you’re doing now? After all that you’re just going to sit here and… chum it up?”

“Weiss, I just came out of a cold rage where I nearly murdered my sister, that I did for  _ your _ sake. I need to be able to chill the f… the freak out.” Ruby said. “Let me have this.”

Ruby let her head thump back against the cell wall as Weiss grumbled in response.

“Violet, Blake, I’m sorry.” Ruby said, choking back a fresh round of tears. “I messed up. I did a bad guy thing today. Something I should never ever do. I need to be better, so I’m going to be. I’m going to get help with it, too.”

“Ruby it’s…” Blake began.

“No, it isn’t okay.” Ruby cut her off. “ _ I’m _ not okay. Not yet, at least.You deserve to be mad at me. You should  _ hate _ me.”

“Momma, no!” Violet interjected. “I’m not gonna let you get scary again. It’s gonna be okay.”

“Oh Vi…” Ruby sighed. It wasn’t a problem she could solve, but Violet said it with the certainty only a small child could have. She took a lot after her moms in that way, trying to take the weight of the world on her own shoulders.

Violet couldn’t actually stop Ruby from losing control again, but her support was definitely helping her calm down.

“You’ve got a good family, Rubes.” Yang sighed out from the other cell. “Better than I ever was, really.”

“Yang…” Ruby attempted to interrupt.

“I missed you, Ruby.” Yang continued unabated. “I missed talking to you about stuff.”

“Why did you stop?” Blake beat Ruby to the question.

“I…” Yang began, choking up. She began crying for the first time Ruby had seen since she’d gotten here. “I was afraid. Things weren’t going well.”

“That’s an understatement.” Weiss added unhelpfully from the peanut gallery.

“If I talked to you,” Yang continued, ignoring Weiss, “either of you, I would have…” She sighed. “I would have had to admit that. And I was afraid that I might… might end up like this. Alone with nothing to my name, and everyone hating me.”

“Auntie Yang?” Violet said in a quiet voice, hopping up and pressing her face between the bars of Yang’s cell, standing strong despite the tears streaking down her face. “I don’t hate you. Momma says there’s too much hate in the world. That even if people keep giving it to us, it never helps to give it back.”

Ruby sighed as her daughter used her own words against her. They may not have been directed at her, but they should have been.

“Violet’s right.” Ruby said. “Yang, I’m sorry. I don’t want to hate you. I  _ don’t _ hate you. I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me.”

“I already have.” Yang said with a sniffle. “Like I said, I deserved it.”

“You should forgive yourself, too.” Blake added.

“Don’t  _ I _ get a say in this?” Weiss interjected.

“You do what you want to do, Weiss.” Ruby sighed. “I’d like you back in my life too, but I am going to help my sister get better. She’s really not any more broken than I am. If you want to be a part of our lives, you’re going to have to forgive us for forgiving her.”

“What if  _ I’m _ not willing to forgive her.” Weiss said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not asking you to.” Ruby responded. “Just as long as you don’t kill her, and… let us give her a chance.”

“Ruby Rose.” Weiss said, shaking her head. “How is it that you always know exactly what to say to me? Fine. It’s been far too long. I missed you dolts too. I’ll stay in Vale for a while. But as for  _ you _ .” Weiss turned towards Yang. “I’m going to stop letting my Aura heal  _ this _ .” She gestured to her cheek. “I’m going to wear this like a badge for a few days. But you know what? I’m still going to give you a chance. Not to get back together, because that ship sailed long ago, but for your sister’s sake, I won’t dump you entirely out of my life.”

Ruby smiled a real smile for the first time since Yang stumbled into her door. Maybe Weiss would blame Ruby for defusing the situation, but it was her daughter that gave her the courage to do so.

The peaceful moment was interrupted by Ozpin entering the room.

Well, not Ozpin, Ozpin. It was Professor Pine, Ozpin.  _ Oscar _ Ozpin.

Ruby was the only person in the room aware of the fact that he held the old man’s soul.

Why couldn’t he have just sent Glynda?

“Miss Rose.” Oscar chided like an old man, despite being the youngest adult in the room. He only brought out the ‘Miss’ for her when she was in trouble, “When you asked for a leave of absence today, the last thing I expected was to have to bail you out of  _ jail _ . Events like these set a  _ terrible _ example for our students. I am disappointed in you.”

Yang and Weiss shot a very confused look Ruby’s way.

“Hey Oz...car.” Ruby said sheepishly as she reached up to rub the back of her neck with her left hand, only to remember it wasn’t currently there.

“Miss Schnee.” Oscar continued unabated. “I am sorry about your injury. I hope you get better soon. You should be careful around these… hooligans.”

“Do I… know you?” Weiss asked through a glare.

“And Miss Xiao Long. You may not be faculty, but we expect better out of our Beacon graduates. Brawls in residential areas only attract grimm. See to it that you do not tarnish the name of our institution.”

“Yang was only defending herself.” Ruby cut in. “I started the fight. I take full responsibility.”

“Miss Rose!” Oscar said, agast. “I suggest you save such confessions for your legal counsel.”

“Why?” Yang stood up. “I’m not pressing charges.”

Oscar narrowed his eyes at Yang, to get a read on her.

“Be that as it may,” he redirected, “This indiscretion shall not go unpunished, Miss Rose. Night Watch. Three days a week. For the next six months.”

“Got it.” Ruby groaned as she looked down.

Oscar turned to address Blake and Violet.

“Mrs. Rose. Violet. It’s good to see you again.” He said, turning to leave. Shortly after, an officer came along to unlock the cells, letting them know that they were free to go, and returning their arms.

“What was that about?” Weiss asked as they walked out, picking the side as opposite from Yang as she could.

“Teacher detention.” Ruby said dejectedly.

“Is he your boss or something?” Yang asked.

“Not… officially.” Ruby offered a sheepish smile.

“He does seem familiar though…” Weiss added.

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Ruby deflected with a wave of her newly-reattached hand. “You’ve never met him. He’s just some child prodigy who seems set on taking over the school.”

“A prodigy?” Weiss asked. “Like… Ozpin?”

Uh-oh. Ruby said too much. Curse Weiss and her observant ways!

“Now that you mention it…” Blake added.

“Wouldn’t it be weird,” Yang began, “if like, Ozpin didn’t really die-die? Like, if he instead took over the body of some young boy, and just strolled right back up to the school like he owned the place?”

There was a pause.

“Eh-heh…” Ruby forced a fake chuckle.

Fortunately, Yang began laughing, which got Violet and Blake laughing, which got Weiss, well, she smiled at least, revealing the missing incisor.

If Ruby had been in a mirthful mood, that would have killed it.

“So… Weiss.” Blake began. “Did you want to maybe come back to our apartment for a bit? To catch up?”

“I should arrange for a hotel room, contact some dentists…” Weiss looked at the group, then frowned. “I… I can have my assistants do that, actually. That would be lovely, yes.”

“What about me?” Yang asked quietly. Perhaps she was hoping Weiss wouldn’t overhear?

“Where else would you go?” Ruby asked rhetorically.

“Well…” Yang began.

“Yang. Stay.” Blake commanded. “You need support. Even if…” she shot a quick glance to Weiss. “Even if you don’t want it.”

Weiss shot a look at Yang, then Blake, then Ruby.

“Fine.” She said, as if she had any say in the matter. “You can come. But I’m only going so I can spend some time with Ruby. And Blake.”

No one was willing to challenge Weiss’s pretend authority as they made their way back.


	6. Chapter 6

Yang Xiao Long was incredibly fortunate to be where she was, after what she’d pulled. Yes, it had been a terrible idea for Weiss to have started the talk about the state of their relationship  _ after _ they were both drunk off their asses, but Yang was still the one to throw the punch, even if she couldn’t remember it.

A fact she was reminded of every time she saw Weiss’s face. Or especially Weiss’s smile.

How did she take that break up so hard? She knew what she and Weiss had wasn’t functional. She knew there was no love left between them at that point. She knew she should have broken it off herself, and only didn’t because of how afraid she was of being left alone again.

There was no way a breakup was enough to get her to throw a punch, was there?

It must have been, though. That’s what everyone was telling her, and it’s not like she could remember otherwise.

And yet, here they were, sitting in Ruby and Blake’s living room (even if Weiss was keeping her distance in the Kitchen), sharing stories about the past few years as if they hadn’t been avoiding each other. Though they were drinking grape juice instead of wine this time. Violet had insisted upon sharing before she went to bed, and Ruby wasn’t about to let Yang or Weiss drink anything alcoholic.

She was still amazed that the little girl was entirely both Ruby’s and Blake’s. They’d apparently won some voucher to get a procedure based on some crazy new Atlas tech a few years back. It would have been well out of their price range, but sometimes you get lucky and win a contest, she guessed. Well, Ruby or Blake might get lucky. Lately, Yang had often started wondering if she’d inherited some of her Uncle’s semblance.

“So then Jaune falls out of the faculty locker room.” Ruby was saying animatedly. “He’s not wearing anything, but he’s holding his shield in its collapsed form. Just then Peter… uh,” She looked at Yang and Weiss, “Professor Port, walks around the corner with a group of new students, saying something about ‘Beacon is full of the greatest Huntsmen and Huntresses to have ever lived’, but he’s facing the students, and doesn’t notice Jaune, so Jaune just hops up, pops his shield open, and waves before Pyrrha tries to yank him back into the locker room by it with her semblance. Pete--uh, Port, turns around just in time to see a completely naked Jaune waving at the group, and now Pyrrha--who is also naked--realizes what she’s done and she actually leans out to grab him!”

They all laughed.

“Oh my gods!” Weiss said between guffaws. “What did Professor Port say to that?”

“Well,” Ruby continued, “You know he’s never willing to act like he’s ever caught off guard, so, he dramatically throws up his hands,” Ruby imitated this gesture, “and shouts ‘Just look at them!’”

There was more laughter. It was wonderfully therapeutic.

“Remind me why you invited Jaune to your Bachelorette party again?” Blake chided Ruby with a sly grin, giving her, well, her wife, a playful punch on the shoulder.

“Pyrrha refused to go without him.” Ruby shrugged. “Plus she was kinda planning the whole thing.”

Pyrrha was planning it. Because Pyrrha was the Maid of Honor.  _ Ruby’s _ Maid of Honor. Something Yang now knew Ruby had tried to ask  _ her _ to be  _ first _ . 

She should have planned that night.

She should have been there.

But even though she should have been overjoyed at the idea of being such a big part of her sister’s wedding, Yang wasn’t entirely sure she would have come even if she knew.

Somewhere, deep down, she realized that Weiss wasn’t the only reason she’d been avoiding talking to Ruby. Or why she’d left on her “grand adventure”.

Even though she and Weiss had both avoided talking  _ to _ their teammates, they spent a whole lot of time talking  _ about _ them. Usually, when they were having a fight.

The chattering and laughter around her came to a sudden stop.

“Yang?” She heard Ruby say, with concern.

“Uh… what?” Yang said, blinking as she resumed paying attention.

“I asked if you were okay.” Ruby said, big silver eyes full of worry.

“I…” Yang began, “I’m just tired, is all. Sorry I zoned out.”

Yang  _ was _ tired, but she was pretty certain she wouldn’t be able to sleep.

“I should probably be getting to bed too.” Weiss said, checking her scroll. “I have dental surgery in…. seven and a half hours.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want to keep you.” Blake said with a nod.

Yang kept her distance as they said their goodbyes. Weiss definitely wouldn’t want one from her right now.

“I’m going to bed, Ruby.” Blake said after the door closed.

“Okay. Goodnight.” Ruby replied, leaning towards Blake, but the faunus was already making her way towards the bedroom.

It was not a denial that Yang missed.

Yang shot a look to Ruby that meant “Do you want to talk about it?”

Ruby shot a pointed look at Blake’s rapidly retreating form, then gestured towards the door with her head twice. As soon as Blake was in the bedroom, Yang was on her feet, and she and Ruby stepped out the front door as soundlessly as they could, walking slowly to make sure they didn’t accidentally catch up with Weiss, and not talking until they stepped out into the crisp, evening air.

“Yang, I really fucked up.” Ruby said, tears welling in her silver eyes. “Like, really, really fucked up.”

“I saw.” Yang nodded. This wasn’t about how close Ruby had come to killing her own sister. Not directly, at least. “I’m sure she’ll come around, though. She’s probably just worried about your kid.”

“I hurt her too.” Ruby sobbed. “I hurt Violet, and Blake, and I hurt you.”

“Hey, Ruby, look at me. I’m fine.” Yang offered.

“I’m not stupid enough to think physical scars are the only ones I leave.” Ruby sniffled. 

Yang… didn’t know what to say to that.

“Gods, I should have seen a therapist years ago.” Ruby said after a long pause.

“The indomitable Ruby Rose, needing a shrink?” Yang asked incredulously.

“Indomitable because she bottled everything up.” Ruby shot back. “Because she’d always try to pretend like nothing was wrong. Like she was still doing upstairs just a few minutes ago.”

“Oh.”

“We all have our demons, Yang.” Ruby said, bringing her hands toward her face, then recoiling at the apparent sight of them. “I thought I could control mine. I thought I could use them. Last time I set them free, I destroyed the White Fang.”

Ruby was talking about the Fall of Haven. Ruby  _ never _ talked about the Fall of Haven. Yang now had an idea of why. Still, she pushed the thought out of her mind. That was a guilt trip she didn’t need to send herself down right now.

“I’m so stupid!” Ruby sobbed out. “I’ve been giving this sort of advice to all kinds of people for  _ years _ , but I’m too stupid to follow my own advice.”

“Hey!” Yang shouted. “Don’t call my sister stupid. My sister, Ruby  _ godsdamn _ Rose, is the smartest, kindest, most caring person I ever met!”

Ruby looked up at Yang with a fair amount of confusion.

“So what if she hit rock bottom?” Yang continued. “I just did, too. We’re gonna help each other out of it, okay?”

Yang offered Ruby her hand. The left one. The flesh one. Ruby stared at it for a bit.

“Okay.” Ruby said, taking the hand in her own. She also chose to use the warm, flesh one, despite the awkward positioning.

Yang pulled her sister into a tight hug.

“You’re so much better than me, Ruby.” Yang said. “I’m not going to let you fall as much as I did.”

“If I’m so much better,” Ruby began sadly, “why did I let  _ you _ fall so far?”

“You didn’t.” Yang asserted. “That was my own fault. Now shut up. We’re being positive here.”

Ruby simply nodded into the hug. 

Being positive could be difficult, but Ruby, and Violet, had managed to pull her through the worst of it. She owed it to Ruby to be there for her now.

Maybe this was her chance at a fresh start. 

Maybe her luck was finally turning around.


	7. Chapter 7

Ruby Rose adopted a combat stance and stared herself down. Wait, something wasn’t right. Usually, she was the other her in this equation, and usually, the other her didn’t look like Yang.

Usually, the her she currently was wasn’t her at all. Usually, the her she was wasn’t unarmed, either.

Still, she clashed with the Yang version of her, who fought bravely with Crescent Rose. She could still remember every step the other her took. Dodge, parry, parry, thrust, dodge, swipe, parry. The scene played out before her yet again, but from a different perspective.

It was time for the her she was to deliver the blow. Her hands glowed red as she reached down to grab the Yang version of her’s arm, and yanked. It popped free with sickening ease. Just like it had earlier today. She discarded the bleeding hunk of meat, and slowly advanced on the fetal form of the Yang version of her. This was supposed to be when she lost it. When she won the fight down an arm and drained of Aura. The stuff that made her a legend. But that only happened the first time.

Instead, the Yang version of her pleaded for her life with Yang’s voice. It begged for mercy. It offered to do anything. Words she was used to hearing come from her own throat. 

Uncaringly as always, she plunged her hand deep into the other her’s chest.

She wasn’t sure which of them screamed.

She woke to find herself in a cold sweat. Blake was hovering over her with a concerned look, and gently shaking her. Ruby gently placed her right arm, the only one she slept with, on Blake’s shoulder, and the shaking stopped. A wave of relief crossed Blake’s face.

“That nightmare again?” Blake asked in a gentle whisper.

“Yeah.” Ruby confirmed without giving any details as to what made tonight different. Blake wasn’t the only one who kept secrets in their relationship.

It had been seven and a half years since it happened, but the nightmare never went away. Blake was probably the only one who knew she had it.

The palpable distance between them earlier that evening had been unbearable. Ruby was glad to have Blake hold her again, even if it was just to help get her past the nightmare.

Blake offered Ruby a tissue from the nightstand, and Ruby wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

“Did I… uh, scream?” Ruby asked quietly.

“No.” Blake said softly. “Your shaking woke me up, though.”

Good. She hadn’t accidentally woken Violet. Or Yang.

Blake cuddled in beside her, holding her tight. Ruby knew she’d hold her through the rest of the night, and felt guilty as she thanked the gods for small miracles. Of course, she also felt guilty about it. Blake was certainly still mad at her and had been keeping her distance for a reason.

But right now, she just needed to know Blake still cared.

“I’m really sorry.” Ruby whispered. “I know that’s not an excuse. I know there isn’t any excuse for what I did today, but… I’ll be better. I just want you to know that I’m trying.”

Ruby shivered. It was a bit drafty up here. Probably because the window she broke was now just covered with taped up cardboard. At least none of the glass fell inside the apartment.

“I know you are.” Blake said, mechanically, but she wiped Ruby’s forehead of sweat and held her closer all the same.

“It’s okay to be mad at me.” Ruby whispered in defeat.

“I’m not mad at you.” Blake almost never went for the obvious lies like this.

There was a long pause.

“Okay,” Blake corrected. “I’m a little mad at you.”

That was an exaggeration if Ruby had ever heard one.

“Ruby, you were  _ terrifying _ .” Blake continued. “I  _ knew _ Yang was going to die if I did nothing, and I couldn’t do anything. I was about to let you murder your own sister in front of your daughter. I’m a trained huntress. I could have… I  _ would _ have stepped in if it was anyone but you, but… just… thank the gods Violet knew what to do.”

“She’s our little miracle.” Ruby sighed.

“I guess I’m still… just a little afraid of you after that.” Blake finished.

That was the sort of lie Blake usually told. The kind that was as much about what she didn’t say as what she did say, and there was no good way to figure out what it was she wasn’t saying. Not without prying it out of her.

Ruby was in no position to start a fight over it.

“I love you, Blake.” Ruby said instead.

She waited for the “I know”.

It didn’t come.

Instead, what Blake said tonight was:

“You love Yang, too.”

No combat wound, not even losing her arm, could hit like those words did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that wraps up the initially posted chapters!
> 
> Hope you're enjoying it so far!
> 
> Starting Saturday, the day after I advertise the availability of this story, I will be posting one new chapter a day for 10 days. Over the next week in particular, the length of this story will double. If one short chapter a day doesn't do it for you, feel free to come back in a week or so when there's been more substantial updates.
> 
> With that said, Saturday's post, the next chapter, will be the shortest chapter I've written thusfar at just under 500 words, while next Friday's, at around 2800, will be the longest so be forewarned.
> 
> After Chapter 17 gets posted, I don't know exactly when further chapters will be ready. Hopefully by then, I'll have an idea of when you might expect the next cluster. I have remained fairly productive, so hopefully, the answer at that point will be "soon".


	8. Chapter 8

+-+-+-+

Yang Xiao Long couldn’t believe her ears.

It was only three days into their “Rampage ‘Round the World” as Yang insisted on calling it, and her girlfriend had cried out another woman’s name.

Her girlfriend who she had been having very loud, and very messy sex with for months at this point. The girlfriend who was supposed to help her get over her past and finally start living for herself.

Her girlfriend who had not just called out any name.

She’d cried out “Ruby.”

She’d cried out for Yang’s sister.

That put a quick end to any and all intimate activity.

How had Weiss managed to wait this long before letting that slip out?

It didn’t get better, though. Weiss seemed pissed at _her_ for stopping. She was gathering all the sheets in front of her and letting out that indignant “huff” she always did.

“It’s not like I was your first choice either.” Weiss accused. This fight would have been much easier if it weren’t true.

“Weiss, I’m… _we’re_ supposed to be moving on. Taking the world by storm! Just the two of us!” Yang replied with an edge of sadness, trying to express just how much it hurt.

She really was trying to move on. Since breaking up with Blake, spending time around her had been hard for Yang, and it only got harder when Blake started dating Ruby. This trip had been in no small part intended to get some much-needed separation from the two.

“Oh, so I’m not allowed my own fantasies?” Weiss shot back. “Pretty hypocritical considering you keep calling out for Blake in your sleep!”

“What, during my _nightmares?_ ” Yang asked incredulously. “That’s a great fantasy! Reliving the trauma of losing my godsdamned arm?”

Yang popped her right arm off at this point for emphasis.

“They’re not all nightmares.” Weiss dryly observed.

Again, it would have been much easier had that been false.

“So, what, we’re supposed to just go on in this relationship, wishing we were with someone else? That’s a _real_ healthy way to function.” Yang said, oozing sarcasm.

“I don’t see why not.” Weiss spat back. “It’s what we were already both doing.”

“I can’t believe you!” Yang half-shouted. “Is that all I am to you, a stand in for my sister?”

“What?” Weiss raised her voice to match. “Do you want me to put on some fake cat ears? Would that make it better for you?”

“My gods, Weiss! You just… uuurgh!” Yang said with a groan of frustration. “You’re just, making me want to…”

“Make you want to what?” Weiss shot back haughtily. “Punish me? Make me eat my words, or… something else? Because I’m still hot and bothered. You want me to stop screaming your sister’s name? Give me a reason to forget her.”

Yang threw Weiss up against the wall, putting cracks in it, and discovered just how great angry sex can be.

+-+-+-+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we have our first flashback!.. and the shortest chapter I've written so far. I know, it's not terribly exciting, but you won't have to wait long for more: Tomorrow's chapter is just a few words shy of 2100, which makes it almost as long as Chapter 5, the longest posted so far. Chapter 9 also does a lot to advance the narrative. There are some big drops incoming. ;)
> 
> Also, for anyone wondering, this is about as explicit as the sex-stuff gets in this story. I'm not here to write smut, but I'm not going to pretend it's not happening. Not with how much it affects relationships and all.


	9. Chapter 9

It had been a week, and Ruby Rose’s life was starting to fall back into a regular routine.

She wasn’t on night watch tonight, so Weiss would be over and the whole team would hang out, just like old times. She’d even allowed her Aura to heal her entirely after her surgery, so for all her threats of “wearing it like a badge”, the outward signs of her recent struggles were mostly invisible to the world.

Yang, meanwhile, remained as great with kids as Ruby remembered, and had made an excellent playmate for Violet. Both Ruby and Yang were scheduled to start therapy next week, and Yang had remained sober the whole time.

Blake… hadn’t quite returned to how affectionate she was before, but it was closer. She was trying, right? That’s all Ruby could ask. There was still distance, but it was no longer an unbreachable wall.

And reconnecting with her teammates was wonderful, even if it cut into time she would otherwise have been spending with her work friends. Jaune and Pyrrha would understand.

Yeah, Ruby had fallen into a hole she’d dug for herself, but she was climbing out of it. And she was going to come out of it stronger than ever.

Right now she could only smile as she listened to Weiss go into another anecdote.

“Okay, so Yang’s on the Sphinx, right? And I’m on the giant Nevermore.” Weiss said. “So she yanks up right as I stab into the wing and they…”

Weiss stopped. She blinked a few times, as though she were very confused.

“Uh, Weiss?” Ruby Asked. “Is everything alright?”

“Um… what?” Weiss asked in a daze, blinking once more.

Then flames shot out from the sides of her eyes.

_ Oh no. _

_ Oh no no no no nonononononono! _

“Weiss.” Yang said with rising concern. “Your eyes are on fire.”

“What?!” Weiss repeated, with a hint of panic.

“Weiss, I’m sorry.” Ruby said quietly. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Weiss asked, her voice cracking.

“Ruby, what do you know about this?” Blake asked, her voice picking up the panic from everyone else in the room.

Ruby whipped out her scroll, and pushed it into Weiss’s hands.

“I’ll explain later.” She said. “But I need to take Weiss somewhere. Right. Now. Don’t wait up.”

“Ruby.” Weiss and Blake both said at the same time. Weiss’s was a question, filled with fear. Blake’s was a command, to stop and explain at least a little bit.

But Ruby didn’t have time. She scooped Weiss into her arms and blasted off in a spray of rose petals.

“Call Pyrrha and hold the scroll up to my ear.” Ruby commanded as the wind whipped past them.

“Ruby, why--”

“Just do it!” Ruby ordered more forcefully.

Weiss complied, and Ruby counted the rings.

One.

They were moving dangerously fast, but it was necessary.

Two.

Weiss had no idea what she was doing, and…

Three.

If Weiss’s power exploded like Pyrrha’s had at the Battle of Beacon…

Four.

Weiss really needed to be somewhere safe.

Five.

With someone who could help her control it.

“Mmmyellow?” Pyrrha’s voice sounded groggily over the speaker.

“Pyrrha. You need to get to the vault as soon as you can.” Ruby said.

“Ruby, what’s wrong?” Pyrrha said, apparently shaking off the sleepiness.

“I’m carrying the newest Maiden there. Winter.” Ruby said, conveying a whole lot of information with just those few words.

“Oh. Oh my gods!” Pyrrha said quietly. “I’m so sorry. I’ll be there soon. How is she holding up?”

“Fine for now.” Ruby replied. “Just hurry.”

“Of course.” Pyrrha said, and Ruby heard the call disconnect.

“Ruby, what’s happening?” Weiss asked.

“I’ll explain soon.” Ruby said.

“Ruby!” Weiss said, louder.

“I’ll tell you just as soon as I can, okay.”

“Ruby, why did you apologize to me?” Weiss voice cracked. “What’s going on?”

At this point, Ruby had to dodge a bolt of lightning that struck the path just ahead of her.

“Weiss, please.” Ruby said. “Just try to remain calm, or we might both get hurt. It’ll all make sense soon.”

Her former partner was breathing hard in her arms, but doing a good enough job of controlling her breaths to stop herself from hyperventilating.

Ruby tore into Beacon’s CCT tower. Rather than take the elevator, she kicked open the loose access panel that was put in place just for her and Pyrrha, and dived down the shaft. Winds whipped within the confined space as Weiss began to panic again, but they were here.

Ruby dashed into the middle of the large, open space, and skidded to a stop, setting Weiss down gently.

“Ruby, where are we?” Weiss asked as the ground beneath them grew slick with ice.

“We’re in the vault under Beacon.” Ruby said. “I need you to stay calm, okay? Just listen to my voice, and breathe.”

The ice began to recede.

“Weiss, you just inherited some magic powers.” Ruby explained, focusing on keeping her voice even. “Like, magic-magic. Not like a semblance. No dust or anything. It’ll be a bit dangerous until you learn to control them, so I took you here. Someone is on their way to teach you, so it won’t be long.”

“Pyrrha?” Weiss asked between breaths. “Is that… why… the dragon… exploded?”

Weiss was asking about the Battle of Beacon. Shrewd.

“Yeah.” Ruby confirmed.

“I thought… that… was weird…” Weiss said. There was no ice, or wind, or lightning. She was successfully calming down. Weiss took one last deep breath before speaking normally.

“So why did you apologize if I’m getting awesome super powers? Was it because Pyrrha burned you?”

The bandaid needed to come off sometime. Weiss was calm now, so maybe it’d be okay.

“Weiss.” Ruby said solemnly. “These powers… they’re inherited from someone. Someone who would think of you in their final thoughts. There’s only one person it could be. I’m sorry but… your sister. Winter. Winter is dead.”

“No.” Weiss said, eyes welling with tears. “No, no, no, you’re lying. You’re messing with me. This is just a bad dream I’ll wake up from. It’s not true.”

“Weiss…” Ruby reached forward to provide a calming grip.

“No!” Weiss screamed. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

The searing pain across her body told Ruby that this was not as okay as she’d hoped.

It didn’t last long before a gust of wind tore into the Vault, and Ruby was blasted safely away from the lightning surrounding Weiss.

“Weiss, listen to me.” Pyrrha said. “I know it sounds weird, but right now, you’re probably trying to pull it back. But that’s not going to work. Trust me. You need to push it out. Pushing out is how you make it stop.”

Weiss sobbed and struggled with the instructions, but after a few agonizingly long seconds, the lightning faded away. Ruby rushed in and placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder, which prompted Weiss to pull her into a death grip of a hug.

“No.” was the only thing Weiss could say, and she repeated it. Softly. She repeated it for the next hour. All Ruby could do was hold and comfort her friend.

Which left Pyrrha standing there awkwardly, wearing a Pumpkin Pete shirt that was probably Jaune’s, at least as far as Ruby could see. She probably had underwear on, probably.

A few minutes later, Jaune arrived via elevator, carrying a bag with a change of clothes for Pyrrha. Pyrrha had most likely flown here wearing what she could most quickly find lying around her bed. Fortunately, she moved fast enough that no one was likely to have seen, at least not in the dark.

The point of Jaune bringing her clothes seemed to be lost on Pyrrha as she changed right in the middle of the vault.

Oscar arrived next. He had a quiet conversation with Jaune and Pyrrha as they waited for Weiss and Ruby to end their embrace.

“It hurts so much.” Weiss finally said, breaking her everlasting string of “no’s”. 

“I know, Weiss.” Ruby said. “I know.”

It was a few more minutes before Weiss finally released Ruby.

Ruby cleared her throat, and gestured towards Oscar.

“Um… Weiss, this is Oscar. But you might know him better as… Professor Ozpin?”

Weiss shook her head.

“So, what, that yarn Yang spun was true?” She said.

“Not  _ exactly _ ,” Ruby said sheepishly. “But… pretty much. Welcome to the Ozluminati.”

Weiss looked around, and a spark glinted across her face. Hope.

“Well, if he can come back, Winter can too, right?” Weiss demanded. “How do we get Winter back?”

Jaune and Pyrrha exchanged a look.

“I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that.” Oscar said. “We can’t just bring back whomever we want, or I’d pick people who are... better than I am. I am unfortunately the only one here who reincarnates, because I was cursed by the gods. I will continue to be reborn until I complete the task I originally failed at, saving the world from Humanity’s greatest threat: The master of the Grimm, named Salem.”

“Oh.” Weiss said as the hope died in her eyes.

Ruby took Weiss’s hand between her own. She needed Weiss to know that she was not alone.

“This is just all… very very much.” Weiss said, falling to a seated position on the floor, which took Ruby down with her.

“It’s okay, Weiss.” Ruby said. “We’ll get through this. We always do.”

“It doesn’t feel like I will.” Weiss sobbed, laying down and curling into the fetal position at Ruby’s side. “It feels like I’m the one who just died. Why couldn’t… why couldn’t have been me instead of Winter? She’s so much better than me!”

“Weiss,” Ruby said softly, rubbing her warmer thumb against Weiss’s hand. “Winter was a wonderful person, but you are too. We care about you, Weiss. We all need you too.”

Weiss choked out a hollow, almost mocking laugh, that echoed around the massive space before dying in oppressive silence.

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew.” Weiss sobbed. “If you knew how I… how I lured your sister in under false pretenses. How I played with her heart, and kept her around despite hurting both of us. How I  _ deserved _ to be punched that night. How I goaded her into it. How I  _ wanted _ her to do it. How I wasn’t even that drunk, and just left my Aura down on purpose so I’d finally have an excuse to be rid of her. How the whole time we’d been together, I’d been wishing she was someone else. How I’d been wishing I was with--”

“Weiss.” Ruby cut her off. “Please. None of that will stop me from thinking you’re wonderful. You’re my teammate, my partner, and my best friend. I love you! You’re practically my sister!”

Something about the end of that sentence made Weiss’s mood drop perceptibly, and a new, more intense round of tears began with a wail. Perhaps Weiss was having trouble with the fact that Ruby wasn’t visibly mad at her about all that?

“Weiss, it’ll be okay.” Ruby added calmly. “I’m here for you.”

Weiss was unresponsive. The intense sobbing continued for a few minutes before sputtering out, and Weiss’s breathing slowed. Ruby gently checked on her, but Weiss seemed to have passed out. 

Ruby glanced at the nearby trio, who were still waiting patiently, but had all taken seats on the floor.

“I need to go home and talk to my wife and sister.” She said to them. “Tell them… tell them something.”

“How much did they see?” Oscar asked.

“Just the flaming eyes.” Ruby said.

Oscar pondered, and sighed.

“Maybe it’s time we let those two in on the secret.” He said. “We’ve been dancing around the issue for you for so long, and I can see the toll it’s taken. It certainly won’t get easier if we also have to cover for Weiss, as well, and I can’t see how telling them would make it worse.”

Ruby sighed.

“Okay.” She said. “Just gotta tell them about this big secret war that I’ve been hiding from them for almost a decade. No pressure.”

“It’ll all work out fine, Ruby.” He said. “I probably should have just trusted your team from the beginning.”

He offered that sadness-tinged smile he often had. The one that told the truth about how many mistakes he’d made.

“Alright.” Ruby said. “I’ll tell them, then bring them back here. I’ll be back soon.”

With that Ruby was gone, leaving only a trail of rose petals in her wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bigger chapter today, and we're starting to move into the actual plot!
> 
> Tomorrow's chapter should be closer to the average, at a bit over 1200 words.


	10. Chapter 10

Yang Xiao Long sat in silence for a long time. The only sound was the metronomic ticking of a nearby clock.

There was a lot to process, and not a lot of answers forthcoming.

So… her ex-girlfriend’s eyes started spewing flames, and Ruby knew something about them.

Something about them that seemed really, really bad.

Something about them she wasn’t even willing to share with her  _ wife _ before acting on.

Something that would take a good amount of time to manage, apparently.

And now, she was left alone, truly alone, with Blake for the first time in nearly seven and half years.

For the first time since she’d broken up with her.

No children or sisters or teammates to redirect the conversation towards.

But Yang was trying to fix things, right? She was going to work her way back up from rock bottom and rebuild her life. That meant she’d need to find a way to finally move forward with Blake. A way to finally move on.

Still, she spent a very, very long time trying to come up with ways to break the silence, wishing that Blake found the courage first.

She didn’t.

“What do you think that was about?” Yang eventually managed.

“Ruby has… secrets.” Blake said quietly. “Things she hides even from me. Things she does for Ozpin.”

Yang scrunched her face in confusion.

“ _ Does _ for Ozpin?” Yang asked. “But he died at the end of our first year, at the Battle of Beacon.”

“That stupid little child Ruby listens to  _ is _ Ozpin.” Blake spat.

“Woah, hey, I just made that up.” Yang said. 

“But I think you touched on the truth.” Blake said. “It took me a long time to figure it out, but I’ve picked up hints. The way he acts. The things Ruby says or does around him. All the secret meetings and missions she goes on for him. The way his Aura felt when I attacked him for making Ruby cry…”

“You’re… sure about this.” Yang said. There was no question.

“Positive.” Blake confirmed. “Ruby doesn’t know I know, but it’s the only thing that makes sense. They keep it all in their secret club. She, Jaune, Pyrrha, Goodwitch… apparently Weiss is getting an invitation before I do.”

Blake was starting to cry. Yang instinctively got up and rushed to her side to offer her a hug, but Blake pushed her away.

“I can’t  _ do _ this.” Blake said, her voice cracking.

“Do what?” Yang asked, hurt that she’d be rebuffed from something so simple as providing comfort. “Blake, it’ll be okay.”

“I can’t do  _ any _ of this. Anything! Everything! Not with you here.” The words flooded out of Blake.

“Blake?” Yang choked, feeling the wet sting of a tear on her own cheek.

“I thought I could just keep pretending.” Blake said. “I thought I could just stay the course. I wanted to run away  _ so bad _ , but you convinced me to stay all those years ago. And after nine years, I still couldn’t break that promise, even if  _ this _ was breaking me.”

“What?” Yang asked, increasingly confused.

“I was doing  _ fine _ , Yang.” Blake continued. “I had a life I could handle. Sometimes, I was even  _ happy _ , I thought if I kept it up, I could finally get over myself. That I could finally fall in love again. But then  _ you _ had to come back.”

“Blake, what are you trying to say?”

“Ruby was terrifying.” Blake continued as if she hadn’t heard Yang. “But I was  _ worse _ . I was going to let her kill you, just so I’d never have to worry it again. Even though I still… and I knew it wasn’t okay! Had it been anyone else, I would have just trusted Ruby. I would have taken Violet far away and just let it happen. Instead, I went  _ to _ the fight. I wanted to watch that part of me die right along with you, so I could keep pretending.”

Yang covered her mouth with her left hand. The dam had broke, and Blake’s confession was flowing freely. Yang couldn’t have stopped it if she’d tried, and she had no idea how to even try.

“I  _ did _ want you at my wedding.” Blake continued. “I wanted you to run down the aisle, screaming that you objected. I wanted you to leave your  _ sister _ standing alone at the altar as you whisked me off. I wanted you to come back, and save me from the happiness Ruby was trying to provide me. And she tried so, so hard. And how could I say no to her? I care about her so much! She loved me, Yang. She’s still  _ in love _ with me. How was I supposed to… how was I supposed to tell her that I couldn’t love her back. How could I tell her I was still in love with someone else, who had kicked me to the curb. Even if she  _ knew _ she was my second choice, she still tried so hard to win me over. I couldn’t hurt her like that.”

“Blake I…” Yang took a hard sniffle. “I was bad for you Blake. I would have made you miserable. You deserved better!”

“You never let me make that decision.” Blake sobbed, leaning in and pounding on Yang’s chest. “You were the only one who thought that! You just decided for me! And then,  _ you _ ran. After all those nights in Patch, after clinging to me with one godsdamned arm, begging me not to go,  _ you _ ran. And while you were out of my life, I could make it work, but then you came back, and so did all those feelings I tried so hard to keep locked away.”

Yang placed her hand, the robot hand, the right hand, on Blake’s shoulder, and pushed her back to arm’s length.

“Blake…”

“I can’t do this, Yang.” Blake said, looking down. “I can’t run away. I can’t stay here. I can’t hold my  _ wife _ without feeling guilty and thinking about you. I can’t get close to you, either, so I can’t have you around. I tried, Yang, I tried to make this work. But I’m not Blake Belladonna anymore. I’m not Blake Xiao Long, either. I’m Blake  _ Rose _ . I’ve been married over five years to a wonderful woman who loves and cares for me. I have a  _ daughter _ that’s turning five in three weeks. I have this romantic life, it’s full of charm, a fairytale! And just as fake as one. You should have come back five years ago, or sooner! Instead, I’m trapped, and I just, can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.”

“Blake, I know it’s hard.” Yang said. “But when you hit rock bottom you--”

Yangs words were stopped by a pair of warm lips clamping over hers.

Blake had grabbed her by the collar and kissed her.

Yang knew this was wrong. She knew she’d be hurting her sister, and her sister’s wife, and herself if she allowed this to happen. 

But it felt so wonderful.

Like being broken, then made whole again.

And Yang was powerless to stop it. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” Blake said, smacking her forehead into Yang’s chest. “That was the stupidest thing I could  _ possibly _ have done. Now, I can’t stop myself.”

Blake kissed Yang again, and the world around them disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had "Do I Wanna Know?" by The Arctic Monkeys stuck in my head the entire time I was writing this (and the next Yang chapter). Does a pretty good job of setting Yang's mood. For Blake, though, you'd probably want to go with Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life" (Synthesis version, please. The Bliss Mix version--Original, sans rap--is also good, but it doesn't capture the mood quite as well).
> 
> Tomorrow's chapter will be a bit shorter at around 800 words, but, for me at least, pound for pound, it's the heaviest chapter. 
> 
> On that ominous note, I hope you all are enjoying it so far!


	11. Chapter 11

“What the absolute fuck!” Ruby Rose shouted, surveying the scene in front of her.

Blake and Yang were on the living room floor, bodies wrapped around each other. They had been making out, and were rapidly attempting to detangle themselves, but the evidence remained all over their faces and necks.

How many hours did they expect Ruby to be gone that they thought they could hide  _ that _ . 

“Blake! You’re my  _ wife! _ ” Ruby shouted frantically. “You said the words! ‘Til death do us part! And Yang, I trusted you! I took you back in and I  _ trusted _ you!”

“Ruby, I’m sorry, I…” Yang tried to say. Blake remained silent, facing the floor, but her cat ears were pinned down in shame.

“No, you’re not.” Ruby said quietly. “Get out. Both of you.”

“What?” Yang asked, face full of dread.

“Get out!” Ruby shouted.

“GET OUUUUUUT!” Ruby followed up with a scream. It was terrifying, and blood curling. It was a noise unlike any Ruby had ever made before.

Blake and Yang silently shuffled past Ruby and out the open door, which Ruby slammed behind them, and locked the deadbolt. She threw her back against the door, slid down until she could bury her face in her knees, and finally, started crying.

Ruby’s heart had been torn out. 

She had never felt pain like this. Having her Aura shattered and her body broken, losing her arm, almost dying? Those weren’t real pain. Those were nothing. She’d do it again and again and again and again and  _ again _ to not feel  _ this _ .

Ruby had lost Blake. The love of her life. And not just lost her, she was  _ betrayed _ by her. By her and her sister.

Or maybe Ruby never really had Blake to begin with.

How could she ever go back to what she had after that? The life she’d spent so many years building up… it was over. There was no recovering it. How could it ever be okay again? How could  _ anything _ ever be okay again?

A part of her really  _ really _ wanted to finish what she’d started with Yang a week ago, then do the same to Blake. Part of her wanted her to fly off the handle like she had before and end it all in the familiarity of the violence that defined her profession. 

But even if the rage had been there for that, the pain was just too great do actually act. But it wasn’t rage she was feeling. It was sadness. It was regret. It was emptiness. Those feelings and the pain drowned out any rage she could have had.

Was this how Weiss felt earlier? Or Nora, after the Fall of Haven? She was coming to the same conclusion that both of them had, that dying would just be easier. So, so much easier. 

Whatever indomitable spark that kept Ruby going all these years as those around her collapsed in despair had just been snuffed out.

“Momma,” she heard Violet say, as she felt a tugging on her sleeve. “Momma, what’s wrong?”

It was well past midnight. Ruby had forgotten about Violet… no, she hadn’t forgotten, she just hadn’t cared. She knew the screaming and shouting would wake Violet. She knew she’d hear her swear, and do so with such  _ anger _ . 

And right now, it hurt so bad Ruby couldn’t manage to even acknowledge her daughter’s existence.

“Momma, there’s too much hate in the world.” Violet said. “Momma, please don’t cry.”

For the first time in her life, Ruby couldn’t agree. She wished she could feel hate, because it would be better than the gaping emptiness she felt. It would be something. Some sort of motivation to do… anything. Anything except sit here and cry and wish she were dead.

She heard little feet patter off towards the bedroom.

The door behind her pounded.

“Mrs. Rose, are you alright?”

She didn’t answer.

“Mrs. Rose?” The pounding got louder.

She would have ignored them for forever, but the last thing she needed right now was her neighbor’s attention..

“Go away!” Ruby half-sobbed, half-shouted.

Some uncomfortable murmuring happened behind her, before they left her blissfully alone.

Something soft was suddenly worming its way between Ruby’s leg and chest.

“This is Mr. Bun-Bun.” Violet said. “He always helps me when I’m sad.”

Ruby squeezed the large plush rabbit to her chest. It had been a gift from Coco and Velvet at the baby shower, and it had always been Violet’s favorite, even after she’d finally grown bigger than it. 

It didn’t do much to ease the pain, but squeezing something helped remind her that she had a physical body beyond the endless pit of despair she was feeling. 

Violet was trying so hard. She was such a good kid.

At least Ruby would be leaving behind something worthwhile after she finally worked up the nerve to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesdangst.
> 
> Tomorrow's chapter (~1200 words) should be going up later in the day. Doing this before work on weekdays is a bit more of a pain in the ass than it's worth, especially since my audience seems to have a similar sort of schedule.


	12. Chapter 12

Yang Xiao Long was disgusted with herself. 

She’d thought she hit rock bottom before.

She’d said she was going to help Ruby climb out of it.

And here she was, having blasted straight through the bedrock and dragged her sister down with her.

She stood outside in the cool night air with Blake, neither of them had shoes or jackets, and neither of them seemed willing to speak.

Outside with the girl that, despite her spending years trying to forget by drinking, fighting, and fucking her way across the world, she still loved.

The girl she wasn’t supposed to love anymore.

The girl that wasn’t supposed to love her.

And yet, they did. And that left a spark of happiness buried somewhere under the immeasurable pile of guilt. 

But Yang had hurt Ruby. She needed to push that spark away for a moment to help her sister. Ruby wouldn’t accept any from Yang at this point, but Yang could contact someone she would accept it from.

“I’m going to call Weiss.” Yang finally said, pulling out her scroll.

“Don’t bother.” Blake said. “Weiss left her scroll on the counter. Do you have still have Pyrrha’s number?”

“I might, actually…” Yang said as she scrolled through her contacts. “Yeah, I do.”

“She might know where Weiss is, and… well, she should be able to help.” Blake sighed.

Yang tapped a very old picture of Pyrrha, and waited for the call to connect.

“Hello?” Pyrrha asked over the speaker. Yang had almost forgotten the sound of her voice.

“Hey, it’s Yang.” Yang placed her free hand against her forehead. “Blake said you might know where Weiss is?”

“I do.” Pyrrha confirmed over the call. “But Weiss is… unavailable at the moment. Has Ruby talked to you yet?”

“About that…” Yang began. “I… we really fucked up. Ruby walked in on us… uh, Blake and I, and we were… yeah.”

There was a long pause as Pyrrha pieced together what Yang was failing to say.

“Yang! How could you!” Pyrrha gasped. “And how could Blake! Ruby, is she… she’s not doing okay, is she?”

“N-no.” Yang said. “No she’s not. She needs someone to help her. That’s why I tried to get ahold of Weiss.”

“Weiss won’t be much help right now, I’m afraid.” Pyrrha said solemnly. “She’s still dealing with the fact that her sister... but you got ahold of the right person. I’ll be there soon. And after I’ve helped Ruby, we’re going to have a  _ long _ talk.”

The way she’d said that last part was threatening. Not vaguely. It was absolutely a threat.

The call ended before Yang could say anything back.

“Looks like everyone’s just lining up to kill me.” Yang sighed. She knew Blake’s sensitive Faunus ears would have picked up both sides of the call.

“What do you think she meant about Weiss’s sister?” Blake asked. “Winter couldn’t be…”

“Whatever it is, it isn’t good.” Yang said. “But I don’t really care. Ruby comes first.”

“Yang,” Blake scoffed, “Ruby hasn’t come first with you in seven and a half years.”

“Don’t you  _ dare! _ ” Yang hissed. “She’s my sister! And it’s not like her  _ wife _ is there for her! Just like her mother wasn’t! So I have to be. Ruby  _ always _ comes first.”

The words were meant to sting, and from the look on Blake’s face, they very much had.

But the fight raged on.

“You  _ abandoned _ her! You abandoned me!” Blake shouted. “And I don’t mean in that bar. You’re the only one who blames you for that! I mean after. How you shut us all out. How you pushed us all away! She lost an arm, Yang! You were the one person best equipped to help her and when she needed you most, you were too busy wallowing in your own self-pity.”

So they were doing this. Finally, after all these years, they were doing this.

Yang decided to stop running from it.

“I wasn’t just drinking in that bar.” Yang said quietly. “It was much worse than that. Neon and I…”

“We know, Yang.” Blake said, wiping away a tear. “We knew the whole time! Neon told us! You _ could _ have told us, and we would have just been happy that you were alive. I would have welcomed you back without a second thought! We tried to welcome you back, but you kept shutting us out! I thought maybe Weiss got through to you eventually but it really doesn’t seem like she did.”

“She… didn’t.” Yang confirmed.

“Why did you have to wait so long to come back?” Blake sobbed. “Why did you have to wait until it would hurt Ruby  _ this bad  _ when I came running back to you? Because there’s no way I couldn’t. I would have followed you to the ends of Remnant! I only didn’t because I thought I was doing it for  _ you _ . That you didn’t want me, and that you’d be happier without me. Dammit, Yang! You should have just told me you still loved me! I would have fought for you!”

“I shouldn’t love you.” Yang said. “Because I’ve hurt you. Because you’ve hurt my sister!”

Yang began to walk away.

“Yang, wait!” Blake called after her, grabbing her wrist. The right one. The metal one. Yang briefly considered detaching it.

Instead, she looked back into those pleading amber eyes, and she couldn’t say no to Blake anymore.

But it didn’t stop her from trying.

“I hate that I still love you.” Yang said, burying her face in her free hand.

“There’s too much hate on our team.” Blake said softly.

The line was like an arrow straight through Yang’s heart. 

It hurt because it sounded like a very Ruby thing to say, and she had just hurt her sister.

It hurt because it came from Blake, who Yang loved but had spent so much of her life away from her.

It hurt because she’d heard it from Violet. The wonderful, adorable daughter she could have had with Blake, but left the task to Ruby.

It hurt because their team had been the source of the most peaceful, joyous moments of her life. 

It hurt because it was true.

Yang pulled Blake into a tight hug. She felt guilty about how good it felt to hug Blake. It was like they were made for each other. 

The two of them held each other and cried.

Something blurred through the air above them, carrying a large gust of wind with it, but Yang couldn’t really care with Blake in her arms.

It was only a few minutes later, when it came back, and she spied what looked like Pyrrha exiting the newly-repaired window, carrying Ruby under one arm, and Violet under the other, that she started to pay attention.

“Blake, is that…”

The Faunus separated from her chest to look up, before the Pyrrha looking thing rocketed off into the distance.

“We need to get to my car.” Blake said. Yang could feel Blake’s fingernails trying to dig their way into her metal wrist.

“Why?”

“Maybe I’m not in love with Ruby,” Blake said, “But I do love Violet. And I’ll be damned if they’re going to take her from me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Drop~!
> 
> ...Okay, really, it wasn't done like that intentionally. This chapter, and subsequently, the line in question, was written well in advance of me having any idea what I was going to call this story. It was a line that stuck with me, though, and the more I looked over everything else I'd written, the more it fit. It sat there as a "temporary" option for about a week, by the end of which, I couldn't think of the story as anything else.
> 
> Also, these couple of chapters destroyed me to write, hence my avoidance of commentary on the actual events and attempts to deflect things with humor. It's all part of this game of emotions we play. Stay strong! We'll make it through this together!
> 
> Tomorrow's chapter will be another short, punchy one.


	13. Chapter 13

Ruby Rose heard the latches on the new window pop themselves open.

That meant Pyrrha was probably six stories up, floating outside her window, about to let herself in.

It was a major breach of the rules that had been laid down for her when she got her Maiden powers.

Not that Ruby could bring herself to care, at this point. Let the whole world see. If the people were panicking, at least they were feeling something.

Violet refused to leave her side, clinging to her in a tight hug.

Ruby couldn’t tell if she wanted her to leave, so she could follow through with her planned suicide, or was glad she wasn’t, so she couldn’t.

“Ruby?” Pyrrha asked as she stepped inside.

“Go away, Pyrrha.” Ruby sobbed.

“Momma, don’t be mean to Aunty Pyrrha.” Violet scolded.

“That bad, huh.” Pyrrha said, taking a seat in front of Ruby. “Yang told me what happened. I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not.” Ruby accused. She didn’t really mean it.

“I hate seeing my friends get hurt.” Pyrrha said. “I should have been there for Nora, and now I can’t be. I’m not going to make the same mistake with you.”

Nora had been absolutely inconsolable after Ren died. Ruby couldn’t imagine what Pyrrha could have done to help then.

Just like she couldn’t imagine Pyrrha being able to help now.

“If you don’t want to see it, just go away, then.” Ruby sobbed.

She could hear Pyrrha shifting.

“No. I’m going to be here for you.” Pyrrha said as Ruby felt a strong, calloused hand on her knee. “Even if you don’t want me to be. And I know you’d do the same for me.”

“No I wouldn’t.” Ruby lied. She was just lashing out at this point. Trying to make people hate her so it wouldn’t hurt so bad for them when she was gone.

“You don’t mean that.” Pyrrha said calmly. “You’ll get through this. You have plenty of people who love and care about you.”

“I only needed the one.” Ruby whispered. 

“What about your daughter?” Pyrrha asked.

It was probably the wrong thing to ask, given the way she was lashing out.

“What about her.” Ruby said coldly, her own words firing harpoons into the abyss that remained of her heart.

Pyrrha gasped audibly.

“Momma?” Violet’s voice quivered, and she started crying.

“I’m… going to need some help with this.” Pyrrha said, apparently to herself. “Where’s Blake?”

“Gone.” Ruby sobbed. “I threw her out.”

Pyrrha shifted to double check that the windows were intact, and make sure Ruby didn’t mean  _ literally _ .

“Alright.” Pyrrha sighed. “I guess Violet’s going to have to come too, because I can’t leave her alone. Oz is going to kill me.”

A strong arm scooped under Ruby, and she dropped the stuffed rabbit to the floor as she struggled to escape. It was fruitless. Pyrrha’s grip was absolute. Eventually, Ruby gave up, and returned to moping, this time hanging from Pyrrha’s side.

“Violet, come here please.” Pyrrha said, before bending over to scoop the girl up. “Have you ever gone flying before?”

In a few moments, they were whipping out the window, open air below them as Pyrrha flew towards Beacon.

If she didn’t reflexively activate her Aura, a fall from this height would kill her.

Ruby didn’t give herself time to consider it.

She kicked against Pyrrha with all her might, and was rewarded by finding herself alone.

Alone, and plummeting towards rapidly approaching concrete.

Ruby closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is being posted at roughly the same time as this one. Technically, I'm moving the release of that chapter up one day. All other chapters will be posted on the same day they were originally scheduled to.
> 
> If you wish to restrict yourself to the original schedule, feel free to wait until tomorrow to check out the next one, but I leave the choice to you, rather than making the decision for you.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was an earlier chapter posted today. If you've just jumped to the latest, you might want to check out the previous one first.

Blake was on a warpath.

And Yang Xiao Long was just along for the ride.

Blake had been managing some crazy driving maneuvers in an attempt to keep up, muttering under her breath about “Ozpin” and “child soldiers” the whole time. Despite the clear roads and Blake’s impressive control of the sedan, they’d almost lost track of the group flying above them… at least, until they saw Ruby drop from the sky.

Blake was quieter the rest of the way. 

Blake parked the car on the walkway leading up to Beacon Tower, ignoring that they were at least a mile from any traversable roads. She had hardly let the car stop before she ripped the door open and jumped out.

Yang shut the car off behind her, pocketing the keys and clambering out, following her.

She found Blake standing in the middle of the lobby, scanning the room.

“There are scuffs around that panel.” Blake said, pointing towards the elevator.

Yang had to sprint to keep up as Blake ripped the elevator maintenance access panel from its hinges.

She used to have Yang do that sort of thing.

Before Yang could protest, she was falling down the shaft, Blake was bouncing off shadow clones, and Yang was doing her best to control her fall one-armed, since she hadn’t brought Ember Celica. Fortunately, the shotgun in her arm did the trick.

Yang still hit the bottom first, and hard, since she only had half her normal ability to slow down. There was a platform, and a proper access door here, which was already open.

She stepped out to find a big, cavernous room that stretched deep into the darkness, with Jaune and Pyrrha standing around having a quiet conversation. That Oscar person, who Blake was convinced was Ozpin, was standing behind them shouting into a scroll.

On the floor, she saw Violet, standing over a pile of Blankets, tugging on a limp silver arm as if she were trying to get its owner to stand.

Ruby’s arm.

Yang stopped in her tracks for just a second. How was she supposed to address Ruby right now? An apology would hardly suffice. It was entirely possible that nothing she could ever do would be enough. Yang wasn’t ready to deal with that quite yet.

Blake however, tore right past her.

Pyrrha swore under her breath as she approached to cut Blake off.

“I don’t think Ruby’s ready to--” She began.

Blake simply shoved her over.

Blake shoved over Pyrrha  _ freaking _ Nikos, like it wasn’t a big deal.

Or was it Pyrrha Arc now?

The part of Yang that had never let go of the love she had for Blake was very excited by that aggressiveness and strength.

The rational part of Yang, the part that was in control right now, was terrified.

She followed and sheepishly helped Pyrrha up. Pyrrha accepted the help, but did so with a glare that made it clear that Yang was not off the hook.

“Ruby Rose!” Blake shouted in mom-voice. “Just what kind of stunt do you think you were trying to pull there!”

Ruby shot the briefest of glances Blake’s way. Her silver eyes, usually so full of warmth and passion, were cold, and dead.

It was a look that belonged to someone who had completely and utterly given up.

It was the least-Ruby look imaginable.

It was a look Yang had  _ never _ wanted to see on her sister.

The sister who had lead their team through thick and thin, who had been able to get others going when all else failed. The sister that never gave up, no matter how bad things got.

The legendary, indomitable Ruby Rose looked like she’d given up. On everything.

Yang felt a deadly chill fill the air.

Ruby’s eyes returned to the ceiling. She was utterly unmoving, but not unconscious. Weiss, however, was, and lying curled up just a few feet away. She’d always been a heavy sleeper, but the shouting should definitely have woken her up. It was concerning that it did not.

Violet had turned to run towards Blake, but upon hearing the mom voice, redirected and shot over to cling to Yang’s leg. Blake reached out for her daughter, but, upon missing, remembered her anger and turned back towards Ruby. Yang knelt down wipe Violet’s tear-stained eyes, and picked her up.

“You think you can just pull that sh--garbage in front of our daughter!?” Blake continued to shout, the tears starting to run down her face doing nothing to cool her rage. “She needs you  _ alive _ Ruby!”

Ruby continued to fail to react, staring unblinkingly towards the ceiling. 

“Blake, I don’t think you’re helping.” Pyrrha called out demandingly, looking between Ruby, Blake, and Violet.

“What do you think we’d have done if Pyrrha hadn’t been able to catch you?” Blake continued unabated. “Do you have any idea what that would have done to us? To Violet? Cripes, Ruby! You probably already  _ traumatized _ her with that!”

“Please make them stop fighting.” Violet sobbed into Yang’s neck.

“Blake!” Yang pointedly, angrily shouted, drawing the Faunus’s attention, and finally snapping her out of it.

“Maybe then you’d feel half as bad as you made me feel.” Ruby finally said after a few seconds of silence. Coldly. Emotionlessly. She still didn’t move any of the muscles not required to say those words.

Blake covered her mouth with both hands, and, now that her rage had faltered, began to sob. She stepped over and lifted Violet out of Yang’s arms.

“Mommy, please stop fighting with Momma.” Violet sobbed.

“I-I’ll try, baby.” Blake choked out. “I’ll try.”

Blake held Violet close, and ran her fingers through her long purple hair with her free hand.

“How did you find this place?” Pyrrha asked, her eyebrow twitching in frustration.

“Scuffs around the panel.” Yang shrugged as she meekly confirmed. “Is Weiss…?”

“Weiss will be fine. She’s just sleeping.” Pyrrha huffed. “She’s better off than you left Ruby, at least. Do you mind telling me what on Remnant possessed you to to think that you could just--”

Oscar stepped in and cut Pyrrha off with a wave of his hand, apparently having finished his call.

“Hello Ozpin.” Blake said coldly.

Oscar and Pyrrha shared a confused glance as Jaune moved over to check on Ruby..

“I didn’t think she would have been able to tell you, given the state she found you in.” Oscar said, directing the group away from the blanket pile.

“She didn’t.” Blake confirmed, glaring at him as they followed.

“Well, then, I suppose it can’t be helped.” Oscar said with a solemn nod. “We had intended to initiate you tonight, anyway, and after what you saw… after what you  _ all _ saw,” he shot a glance at Violet, and a glare a Pyrrha, “I do not see any value in hiding it, provided I can trust you to be sworn to secrecy.”

“We might want to rethink their trustworthiness.” Pyrrha said coldly, before withering under a glare from Oscar. Apparently even the invincible Pyrrha Nikos, or Arc, or whatever her last name was now, still had some fear of Ozpin.

Blake and Yang exchanged a glance.

“Violet’s not even five.” Yang said. “You can’t expect her to swear to anything.”

“Almost five.” Violet grumbled between sobs.

“I also can’t expect anyone to believe the word of a five year old.” Oscar said. “She was going to be dragged into this anyway, eventually. It’s why I made sure she was born. Why I demanded Ruby have a child.”

“W-what are you saying?” Blake gasped. “I am  _ not _ going to let you just--”

“Oh come now.” Oscar continued. “You didn’t  _ really _ think there’d be a contest for fancy new reproductive technologies, did you? We needed to continue the line of silver-eyed warriors, and the Roses, the last line I know of, have all been notoriously  _ gay _ . Summer was at least willing to  _ pretend _ , but this was the only way I could get Ruby to agree.”

Yang stood there with her mouth agape, as Oscar continued as though he hadn’t just made the claim that the woman who raised her, whose death  _ broke _ her father, was just “pretending” the whole time.

Blake clutched Violet tighter.

“You are  _ not  _ taking my baby from me.” She said. “How important could it possibly be that you would mess with our lives like that?” 

“She’ll make the choice herself when she’s old enough, as Ruby did.” Oscar continued, nodding. “I wouldn’t presume to… anyway, it’s so  _ important _ because Silver-Eyed Warriors are one of our last lines of defense against Salem. Salem the… monstrous being who leads and controls the creatures of Grimm. The same monster that destroyed Haven, and that almost destroyed Beacon. Those with silver eyes have an ability which allows them to simply destroy Grimm where they stand. Even the large, old, and powerful ones. That is not an ability we should simply allow to disappear.”

“So you would force people into creating child soldiers for you.” Blake said flatly, her ears pinned back as she glared at Oscar.

“If it came down to the survival of humanity,  _ and _ the Faunus, I would.” Oscar said with an edge of agitation. “But please understand that it  _ has not _ . Everything I have had Ruby do, she has done with knowledge  _ and _ consent. Yes, that includes having a child who,  _ just like her _ , may have to grow up to fight monsters,  _ if she so chooses _ .”

The two glared at each other for a long second.

“So... why is this secret?” Yang asked, attempting to diffuse the situation by moving the conversation along. “Why not tell everyone? Unite the world and destroy this Salem, and the Grimm, once and for all.”

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple.” Oscar said, returning to a calmer, more professorly tone. “Salem does not control all of the Grimm, or humanity would have fallen long ago. If we were to spread the word, it would cause a panic, and we would find ourselves fighting the Grimm she does not as well as the ones she does.”

“So you want us all to just fight your secret shadow war for you?” Yang scoffed. “Telling no one as we become part of a small, exclusive,  _ easily targeted _ group and throw our lives away?”

“I am not asking you to participate.” He said. “I am simply offering you the choice. There is no shame or disgrace in abstaining. Only in retreat.”

“But you haven’t told us everything yet.” Blake said, narrowing her eyes.

“You haven’t sworn yourselves to secrecy yet.” Oscar said. “And if you do, after I tell you more, you can decide  _ then _ if you want to participate.”

“Alright. Fine.” Blake said. “I won’t tell. But I’m tired of being lied to.”

Yang couldn’t help but notice Blake made no mention of the ease with which she lied herself.

“I guess I aught to know, too.” Yang shrugged. “I won’t share either.”

Oscar gave each of them a nod before shooting a preemptive glare at Pyrrha, which cut her protest off before she could voice it.

“Well, then.” He said. “To continue with what I left out… Salem and I are both, in a sense… immortal. If you kill us through normal means, we reincarnate, though I’m afraid her version is a bit swifter, as I’m sure Pyrrha can attest. We were both cursed by the gods, eons ago, she for destroying the world, and I, for failing to stop her.”

“That’s hardly fair.” Yang said. “Are you saying the gods are real?”

“Yes.” Oscar confirmed. “The Brothers Grimm. I met them... once or twice. They used to live here. This world wasn’t called Remnant until they left.”

Yang nodded slowly.

“So what about glowy eyes over here?” She jabbed a thumb towards Pyrrha. “How do you learn to fly, and shoot lightning, and turn into a bird.”

“I... can’t turn into a bird.” Pyrrha said, confused.

“Those are special powers that can’t be learned, Miss Xiao Long.” Oscar said. “I don’t know where you got the idea that they could turn into birds, but for the rest, it’s a power that is… inherited. There are four Maidens: Spring. Summer. Winter. Fall. Pyrrha is our Fall Maiden. When a Maiden dies, her power is… transferred. Into the person who was last in her thoughts. Or to a random person, if said person isn’t a young woman.”

“So Weiss…” Blake began. “Pyrrha said something about her sister, does that mean…”

“Yes. Winter  _ was _ our Winter Maiden.” He said.

“Was.” Yang repeated, crestfallen.

Winter had been one of the few constants in Yang’s life during her “Rampage Round the World”. Weiss’s sister was constantly checking in on them, and was the only real family Weiss seemed to have. Yang had grown to love her like a sister of her own over the years.

And now she was being told, in a roundabout way, that she was dead.

“Winter…” Blake said, lip quivering.

“Is Auntie Winter okay?” Violet asked.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” Blake said to her daughter and held her close.

_ Auntie _ Winter. Apparently, she and Weiss weren’t the only members of the once great team RWBY that Winter had been keeping an eye on.

Oscar decided to press on, despite the emotional moment in front of him.

“There was an attack on Atlas tonight.” He said. “I was just on a call with General Ironwood. They managed to keep the city floating, and to turn away Salem’s forces, but… it was devastating. The academy is a mess. Worse than the Battle of Beacon, but not as bad as the Fall of Haven.”

“Oh my gods.” Yang said, covering her mouth with both hands.

“Weiss having the power is a good sign.” Oscar continued. “It means Salem didn’t get her hands on the powers of the Winter Maiden, but if she made her move, I worry she might have already found the new Spring Maiden. The last one, Vernal, died at the Fall of Haven, and we haven’t been able to determine who inherited the power.”

Yang pondered for second.

“The Summer Maiden, would I know her?” She asked quietly.

“No. She’s in Vacuo, and you certainly haven’t met her.” Oscar said, raising an eyebrow.

“Then I think I know who the Spring Maiden is.”

“What are you trying to say, Miss Xiao Long?” Oscar inquired.

Yang steeled herself. This was never easy to talk about, but this was important. People were  _ dying _ over this.

“A-at the Fall of Haven.” Yang stuttered. “After I was… my Mom’s portal opened up to me, and she came flying out of it. Literally flying. She had a mask on, so I couldn’t see her eyes, but, she blasted a Beringel with lightning, made sure nothing else  _ really _ dangerous was around me, took off into the sky, and, uh… turned into a bird.”

“She should have been too old to…” Oscar began. “Nevermind that. Raven has turned on Salem before, so I doubt she’d be alive if Salem knew she was the Maiden. I’ll need to make sure that Qrow checks on his sister…”

“It’s okay,” Yang said, “She’s alive. She… visits me from time to time. Usually in bird form. Same Raven’s been following me my whole life. And I saw it earlier today.”

Oscar breathed a sigh of relief.

“That was some very valuable news, Miss Xiao Long. Thank you.”

“Why does she keep attacking the schools?” Blake asked quietly, cradling Violet who seemed to have cried herself to sleep. Almost-five-year-olds weren’t exactly known for pulling all-nighters.

“There are… powerful relics. Hidden under each school.” He said. “They’re safest there, surrounded by trained and training Huntsmen and Huntresses, and deep inside each Kingdom. It might be a risk to the students, but what might happen if Salem gets her hands on any of these relics is far, far worse.”

Yang nodded.

“So that’s why you hire professors like Ruby, or Pyrrha, or Goodwitch.” She said. “They’re there to be the defense.”

“Precisely.” Oscar said. “Now that you’re more or less caught up, you both have a choice.”

“I… will need to get back to you on that.” Yang said. “Before anything else, my first priority is to patch things up with Ruby. After that… we’ll see.”

“And you, Mrs. Rose?”

Blake flinched upon hearing her own last name.

“I… Violet is my priority.” Blake said. “I’m sorry, but… there’s no way I’ll risk her losing both her moms, and you already have Ruby. So no. But don’t think I won’t find ways to stay informed. Don’t you dare try to keep things from me.”

“Very well.” Oscar said. “I should return to the damage reports, and plan my next course of action. I suggest you both go rest. Ruby will be safe here. We will have people to watch over and care for her, but for right now, I don’t think the two of you will be very effective caretakers. I’m sure you’ll be able to reconnect with her in time.”

“Is Violet  _ really _ your priority, Blake?” Pyrrha said coldly as they began to walk back. “Did you even  _ think _ about what you were doing to her tonight?”

Blake didn’t seem to have a response for this. She turned her head away and shuddered as a fresh round of tears assaulted her.

“You kept talking about us not talking Violet away from  _ you _ .” Pyrrha continued. “What makes you think you have the right to take her away from  _ Ruby? _ ”

“I-I’m not!” Blake choked. “I don’t! I…”

Pyrrha narrowed her eyes at Blake, reaching a hand forward as though she were about to demand the child be turned over to her.

Yang stepped forward, and placed her hands over Pyrrha’s. Left first, as the soft skin would be less threatening than the hard metal.

“ _ When _ Ruby recovers,” she began, “I will do everything in my power to make sure that Ruby gets her daughter. Even if I have to fight Blake. But right now, Ruby’s not in any state to take care of her. Don’t try to tear Violet away from her  _ whole _ family.”

Pyrrha’s glare found Yang.

“Oh, like you’re any better!” She hissed. “This is as much your fault as it is hers!”

Pyrrha’s eyes began to spout flame, and her hand grew very, very hot.

Yang did not budge. Nor did she activate her Aura. This was penance.

But Ruby came before her penance.

“Yes. It is.” Yang said through gritted teeth. “If you think you need to kill me over it, go ahead. But if I thought killing me would actually help Ruby, I would have done it myself.”

Pyrrha continued to glare at Yang, brow furrowed as though she were trying to decide what to do. Her hand did not cool down.

Jaune shoved the two of them apart. Yang hadn’t even noticed him approaching.

“Enough of that.” Jaune said. “You’re not helping, any of you.”

Pyrrha’s anger gave way to distress. Jaune started to try to heal the burns on Yang’s hand with his semblance, but Yang pulled it back, and pushed him away with the metal arm. She had her full Aura left, she could manage that herself if she chose to.

“If this happened to anyone else,” Jaune continued as if he hadn’t just been shoved, “Ruby would be here, calming everyone down, and trying to find a way to keep moving forward. We owe her that much.”

Yang wasn’t sure if that was true. A little over a week ago, she would have believed that unquestioningly, but after surviving what happened when that mask came off…

Still, it was better for Ruby, and Violet, that Pyrrha not murder her here.

“We will take care of Ruby. Keep an eye on her. Talk to her when… when she’s ready. Figure out what she want to do about the two of you.” Jaune said, pressing forward. “Yang, I’m going to hold you to your word on Violet. It should help that she gets some sense of familiarity, but the  _ moment _ Ruby is up and moving, she gets to see her. Even if she’s not ready to see  _ you. _ ”

Jaune directed that last bit towards Blake.

“O-Okay.” Blake swallowed, fully understanding the implication.

“We’re all supposed to be on the same side here.” Jaune sighed. “It’s too late to take back what you’ve done, but we should still try to fix what we can. So I’m going to tentatively welcome you to the Ozluminati, but you better not mess anything else up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was moved up one day from its originally scheduled release, posted at about the same time as the previous one. The next chapter will be up on Saturday.
> 
> This is, in no small part, due to the cliffhanger I left at the end of the previous chapter. 
> 
> Truth is, I don't feel I've done enough to earn your trust to leave it where it was on the last chapter. Especially with how I set up the tags on this story. Y'see, I thought about it, and I realized, if I were just a reader, if I didn't know what was going on, if I just got to the end of the last chapter and there was no more, I probably would have dropped the story there. So, despite at one point having a plan to have that chapter sit as the latest for at least a week, I elected to give you guys the choice yourselves; to not make you wait. I know basically no one is going to wait, but still. Besides, I'm sure there's still enough delay for you to feel the impact of it. Drawing it out to a day, or more, might be kinda masochistic.
> 
> And I didn't start writing this story to hurt people, despite what it may seem like at this point in the story.
> 
> Before I began releasing this story, part of me was very worried that I would not be able to produce the emotional impact out of my readers the story gave me. Judging by the comments I got for yesterday's chapter, I have certainly succeeded in terms of emotional intensity, but it still hits me in a way it doesn't hit most of the commenters. Y'see, where I am not able to dip into fury here, and where Ruby isn't able to go into rage, the comments have had that in spades.
> 
> I should probably be less surprised than I am, because I know full well that had I not the knowledge I do, I'd be right there along with them. I even had already written that into the story, for that matter. For the most part, I shall stick to my storywriting instincts, and stay the course, but I did want to say one thing.
> 
> I do not hate Blake. I am not trying to make her the villain. There are two sides to every story, and you have not yet heard Blake's. I can't guarantee that you won't hate her once you hear it, but it will be coming.
> 
> Now, as for this chapter specifically... it's probably my least favorite of the first 17. It has by far gotten the most TLC in terms of revisions... I've added about 600 words to it in the last week, despite initially going "screw it, ready for release" before I started posting the story. It has gotten... better, but I'm not going to pretend it's perfect. I'd probably keep revising it forever if given the option, but that's not really healthy. At some point, you just have to post the damn thing and move on. And hope that reading the comments on it doesn't destroy you.
> 
> ...Gods this is a long note. Especially for someone who generally believes in "death of the author". I guess that's why I'm leaving the FF.net version of this story completely note-free.


	15. Chapter 15

That first night and following day had been impossible.

There had just been a gaping wound where Ruby Rose used to be.

The second day was easier, but still unbearable. The desire to die had faded enough to keep her from doing anything about it, but it certainly hadn’t gone away.

Neither she nor Weiss had seemed willing to talk about anything to each other, but they found comfort in each other’s arms, holding each other when the sobs got particularly bad from their blanket pile.

Jaune, Pyrrha, Glynda, and Oscar had taken shifts watching over them. There was always at least one of them down there, at all hours. Occasionally they tried to talk, but the words were lost on Ruby. Weiss responded most of the time, or took walks around the Vault with Pyrrha, or ate the food they brought them, but she wasn’t particularly active, either. Instead, she spent most of her time by Ruby’s side, as if waiting for her to do something.

On the third day, Weiss finally worked up the nerve to try to comfort Ruby with words.

“It’s going to be okay, Ruby.” She said. “We’ll... both get through this somehow.”

Ruby knew the words were probably true, but she still felt very, very numb.

“I don’t know what I’ll have to come back to.” Ruby said without moving from her divot in the blanket pile, voice very hoarse from underuse.

“You’ll still have plenty to live for.” Weiss said. “Even if Blake’s… you’ve still got a job, a daughter, friends. You’ll recover, and maybe one day, find someone new?”

The sentence ended with an uncharacteristic amount of hopefulness, considering what their situation had been lately. Ruby glanced over to check who was on shift. It was Glynda, and she was reading a book. The odds of her paying attention to this conversation were slim to none. It meant she could have a private conversation with Weiss.

“Weiss, how long have you had a crush on me?” Ruby deadpanned.

“W-what?” Weiss stammered.

“That’s what you were trying to tell me the other night.” Ruby sighed. “You felt bad because you were thinking about someone else while you were with Yang. Weiss, I can count the number of people you individually interacted with outside the team on one hand. None of the other options make sense, and I’ve had a lot of time to think. So how long?”

As a Professor, particularly as a young and accomplished one, Ruby had to deal with people having crushes on her all the time. She knew the signs. And she knew Weiss, even if the icy mask she wore fooled everyone else. 

“I-I…” Weiss took a deep breath. “I-It started after the Battle of Beacon. After I pulled you off the tower, and your back was all burned like that, I… I thought I might lose you. I almost did. And I realized… I realized how much you meant to me. How much I wanted you just for myself. And I…”

There was a long pause, interrupted only by slight sobbing coming from Weiss. She wasn’t likely to be able to continue.

“You should have told me.” Ruby eventually said.

“D-does that mean…?”

“I  _ had _ a crush on you. Yeah.” Ruby confirmed. “A big one. But you wouldn’t even agree to call yourself my best friend, and there was that whole thing with Neptune, so… I assumed there was no way you could be gay, so I got over it.”

“I didn’t want to say best friend,” Weiss whispered, “because I didn’t want to get stuck with that label. I wanted  _ more _ , Ruby. I just didn’t know how to say it… or how to figure out if that’s what you wanted, too.”

“If one of us had just asked, I might not be here.” Ruby sighed. “Moping on the ground. Wondering how my life got so turned around.”

“Maybe we can… still make it work?” Weiss asked, hint of hopefulness returning.

“Weiss, even after everything that’s happened. I still love her. After how she hurt me, I should hate her, but I can’t, because I  _ still _ love her, but I can’t be around her without feeling the pain again.”

“But… she doesn’t love you.” Weiss said, with melancholy more befitting the mood.

“I know.” Ruby said, her vision blurring as tears returned. “And maybe at some point, I’ll get that through this thick skull of mine, and move on, but right now? I can’t. She means so much to me.”

“Oh.” Weiss said gravely. “I guess… I guess Yang also couldn’t get over Blake for me. What does she...”

Weiss finished her thought with an audible sigh.

“So, neither of you wanted each other.” Ruby sighed. “You both wanted us, but you couldn’t have us. I guess that explains why we neither of you were willing to keep in touch.”

“That’s… yeah. That’s about what happened.”

“Fucking hell.” Ruby forced out a hollow chuckle. “If all of us had just talked to each other… just told each other how we  _ really _ felt from the beginning… we’d all be a lot less miserable.”

“Yeah…” Weiss said softly.

“I guess that’s where we should start.” Ruby said. “Be honest with each other. Stop lying to each other and trying to guess what we all want. Or pretending for each other’s sakes. I-If… if Blake doesn’t want me, then… then I need to hear it from her.”

There was a long pause as Weiss tried to figure out how to respond to that.

“How do you think they’re doing?” Weiss eventually asked.

“They’re… probably wracked with guilt.” Ruby said. “Both of them are kind people and… and even if they hurt me, they do care about me. Blake’s going to be mostly worried about Violet, and Yang… well, she’s probably started pushing Blake away out of guilt, again.”

Ruby let out a long sigh.

“There’s… no way any of this gets better without me, is there?”

“You are our leader.” Weiss said, sounding defeated. “None of us seem to have any idea what we’re doing without you.”

“Then I probably need to finally leave this place.” Ruby shook her head. “I can’t go home, though. It really wouldn’t be…”

“I could get you a hotel room?” Weiss offered. “Or you could… um… stay in mine with me…”

“It’s okay, Weiss.” Ruby said. “Beacon’s got faculty housing available and… y’know what? Actually, no. That might be nice. I probably shouldn’t stay alone, and the last thing I need is Peter and Bart seeing me like… like this. You’ve already seen me moping.”

“Then you’ll stay with me.” Weiss confirmed.

“Just… don’t think of trying to put the moves on me while I do.” Ruby said. “It’s not going to work and it’ll just make things awkward.”

“Understood.” Weiss said, failing to mask her disappointment. “I’ll need to grab my keys, and my scroll… and I left those...”

“At the apartment.” Ruby finished, finally sitting up. “I guess we’ll have to rip off that bandaid, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter should hopefully be a little less effective at tearing y'all's hearts out.
> 
> It's a bit over a third the length of the last chapter, I know, but you probably shouldn't expect to get used to such large chapters. I mean, it's not the last big one... I've since written a bigger one, in fact, but the average is sitting closer to 1500 than 3500.
> 
> Tomorrow's chapter will be slightly longer than this one, then we'll finish off this initial release blitz with a bigger one that tops 1800 words on Monday. After that, there'll be a break before I kick the chapter releases off again. Shouldn't be too large, hopefully.


	16. Chapter 16

Yang Xiao Long flopped on the couch, exhausted.

Ruby’s couch.

Technically, it was also Blake’s, but Yang hadn’t recently hurt her and sent her into a dark, depressive state like she had to the brightest light in the universe, so she didn’t feel nearly as guilty if she thought of it like that.

And Yang was on a bit of a masochistic streak lately.

She hadn’t seen nor heard from Ruby in three days, ever since they left her basically catatonic in the basement of the school, with only vague promises from a secret cabal of wizards that she’d be safe.

Yang had instead thrown herself into what work she could find, which wasn’t hard. News of the Attack on Atlas caused a great deal of unrest and left plenty of work for a world-class Huntress to take on. She’d killed thousands of Grimm in the last three days, using her own sour mood to draw them to her instead of weaker targets. Today, her Aura had broken in a battle with a Goliath. Well, she’d killed the Goliath first, but Yatsuhashi had to save her from its partner, and Coco had literally dragged her back to an airship for evac after that. It had been great to see that Team CFVY still ran together, but it was heartbreaking to compare that to the state of her own team.

Hours later, and her Aura was finally recovering, soothing the bruises and aches all across her body.

It was still better than the morning after they got caught by Ruby, which had been absolute chaos. That first day had started with an attempt to check on the state of her Atlesian contacts. She’d only gotten ahold of one: Neon Katt. It had not been a fun call. Neon’s upbeat attitude was missing, and so was her partner, Flynt Coal. The latter, she picked up through context clues, was missing in the sense that Neon was just entirely unwilling to admit that she watched him die. Yang’s heart went out to the free-loving, polyamorous Faunus who had warmed her bed many a night in the last few years. In addition to Ruby, that was another bright ray of sunshine that was now conspicuously absent from the world, just like the Fall of Haven had taken Sun and Nora from them.

After that uplifting experience, she’d had a long conversation with Blake, where Yang made it clear that, while she really, _really_ wanted Blake, they would share no affectionate moments until she could see Ruby truly smile again, even if she were continuing to crash on the couch. She’d attempted to sleep on a park bench that first fateful night, but the cold air and hostile design made that impossible. She’d returned to the apartment after much pleading from Blake. She’d also made Blake promise to no longer hide her true feelings from Ruby, or mislead her into thinking there was more than there was. Even if that might speed up Ruby’s recovery temporarily, it’d only be setting her up for another fall.

Which, of course, meant that it would likely be a long time until they found a way to make Ruby smile again, because regardless of where they went from here, her five-year-long marriage was going to be over, as Blake didn’t seem to be on the verge of suddenly developing stronger feelings for her wife any time soon.

That meant it would be a long time until she and Blake could touch.

And every second delayed there was agonizing, now that the possibility was real again.

After that conversation, she’d headed for the kingdom’s borders, and threw herself into the biggest fight she could. The hours of that day had been a blur, but when she came to, Jaune was grumbling as he leaned over her, boosting her with his semblance, and she had a new set of scars across her abdomen.

Since Pyrrha had been adamant she not return to the fighting that evening, Yang took a detour through a bar, then returned to find Blake crying in the kitchen. Apparently, at some point in the day, Violet had chewed her out for hurting and yelling at Ruby, and while Blake had held it in until after Violet went to bed, the guilt caught up to her after she was alone. She’d pleaded desperately for Yang to comfort her, and Yang wanted desperately to do so, but after remembering that look in Ruby’s eyes, she held to her conviction despite her inebriated state, even when that meant both of them went to bed a sobbing mess.

The second day was less eventful. Sixteen hours of fighting, just a few drinks to take the edge off afterwards… okay, more than a few, a late night return, and a lonely couch to cry herself to sleep on.

Today, due to her recklessness, she was home much earlier, before any of the bars would have enough of a crowd to make it worthwhile. Blake was in the kitchen making spaghetti as Violet assembled a puzzle on the living room floor.

Spaghetti was an interesting choice, seeing as Blake never much cared for it, but Ruby had. Violet seemed excited about it, at least.

“Is she doing any better?” Yang asked from the couch, eyes covered with her arm.

“Last I heard from Jaune,” Blake replied, “she’s still staying pretty much rooted to that spot, and hasn’t eaten anything, but she’s crying less, and Weiss has been sticking around longer than she needed to, as a show of solidarity.”

“There’s going to be hell to pay at the SDC for her disappearing this long.” Yang said as she let her arm flop off the side of the couch and rolled to face Blake. “Doesn’t surprise me that she would, though, since the whole time she was with me… well, she spent a lot of time trying to pretend I was Ruby.”

“Seems to be a lot of that going around.” Blake said dispassionately, trying to mask her sadness surrounding the idea.

“At least Ruby has someone there for her that she doesn’t hate.” Yang said with a frustrated sigh.

“You don’t think…” Blake began, the words catching in her throat. “You don’t think Ruby… _hates_ us, do you?”

Yang took a deep breath before answering.

“A little over a week ago, I would have said it was impossible, but… now that I’ve seen her… y’know. I guess I’m still pretty worried.”

“Y-yeah…” Blake stuttered out.

There was a long pause, in which Violet took the opportunity to speak.

“Momma shouldn’t hate anyone.” She said quietly. “There’s too much hate. Hate should never come from mommas.”

Neither Blake nor Yang seemed to have a response for this, so they were left once again in the silence of that infernal clock.

Even Violet herself had stopped. She was staring at a half finished puzzle, holding a piece wordlessly.

One of Violet’s ears twisted back.

There was a firm knocking on the door.

Yang exchanged a look with Blake that suggested neither of them had any idea who it might be.

Weiss was with Ruby, Ruby had a key, and just about anyone else they knew would have just called if they wanted to talk to one of them, right?

Maybe it was one of the neighbors? Or just someone from the SDC trying to track Weiss down?

Yang shrugged and got up, opening the door as soon as she got to it.

She flinched.

It was Ruby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that tomorrow's chapter will be the last one before we go on a bit of a break. It'll be a decent sized one, at over 1800 words. I'll talk more about the break in tomorrow's notes.
> 
> Also... y'all are probably not ever going to get a double-chapter post again from me. Going by the FF.net stats, over 40% of the people over there completely missed Chapter 13, even though I sorta broke my no-notes rule that day to put a (temporary) note at the top of Chapter 14 telling people it was there. AO3 doesn't really give me per-chapter or per-user view stats, so I don't know if the same is happening here, but 40% is crazy high.


	17. Chapter 17

“Heeey Yang.” Ruby Rose said, lowering her gleaming silver left hand from where the door had just been. She’d been about to knock a second time, but Yang opened the door, apparently without checking the peephole.

And Yang flinched.

_ Yang _ flinched.

Yang, who ran into every battle headlong. Yang, Ruby’s sister, who used to trust her more than anything in the world.

That was a scar Ruby left last time she’d snapped.

Even if she hadn’t left any physical ones.

At least Yang was here, and not in a bar somewhere, or passed out in a gutter. Yang was definitely no stranger to excessive self-punishment.

“H-heya, Rubes.” Yang said uneasily. “Did, you, um…”

Yang was interrupted by a streak of purple that attached itself to Ruby’s leg.

“Lose your keys?” Yang finished as Ruby bent over to pick Violet up.

“No,” Ruby said as she stood back up. “I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t interrupting any--ow!”

A tiny hand had slapped Ruby’s cheek.

It shouldn’t have hurt at all, but there was some Aura behind it.

Ruby wasn’t sure if she should be proud that her daughter had inadvertently unlocked her own Aura at such a young age entirely on her own, or sad that it probably happened as a result of the stress she’d been put through these last few days, but…

Ruby was leaning towards the latter.

“Violet! No hitting!” Ruby said and made a pouty face at her daughter.

“You no hitting!” Violet glowered at her adorably, with crossed arms.

“Violet…” Ruby began in stern mom-voice.

The glare did not let up. Nor did the shocked expression on Yang’s face.

“Okay, fine.” Ruby relented. “I won’t hit people anymore. But you gotta stop too.”

“And no hurting people, either.” Violet huffed.

“What?” Ruby was surprised her daughter was aware of the distinction.

“I already made mommy promise to stop hurting you.” Violet explained, holding out her pinky finger. “But mommy’s been crying all day and all night. She thinks I can’t hear, but…” Violet’s ear twitched back. “She got really hurt by you, too.”

“Oh, Vi… I’m sorry…” Ruby said.

“So momma, you gotta promise!” Violet continued, gesturing with the outstretched pinky. “No more hurting mommy. No more hurting Aunty Yang.”

Ruby couldn’t help but notice that Violet did not mention hurting  _ her _ , even though Ruby knew very well she had. Violet’s distressed face from that night would be burned into her memory forever. The girl had a selfless streak to rival her moms’, at their best.

“I promise.” Ruby said softly, locking her own pinky in with her daughter’s.

It was a promise that Ruby had no intention to break… provided she didn’t… go back to that dark place she’d recently been in. Violet had always come first, and hurting Violet… over the last few days, Ruby had decided that was the worst thing she’d ever done.

Weiss cleared her throat behind Ruby.

“So… are we… going to just do this standing out here in the hallway, or…” She said, clutching the hem of the oversized shirt she was borrowing from Pyrrha. 

Ruby could wear hers like a dress, but Weiss was absolutely swimming in that shirt. That’s what they got for borrowing clothes from a stacked, six-foot-tall amazon woman.

Yang moved out of the way and gestured Ruby and Weiss in.

It was very surreal, walking into her own home, and feeling like she didn’t belong. That feeling of unease clawed in from the edge of her subconscious, and Ruby could feel her heart rate quickening as that feeling took hold.

Ruby didn’t belong here.

Ruby needed to get out of here.

“Are you ready for the sketti?” Violet asked from her arms.

The gurgle in Ruby’s stomach from smelling the home-cooked spaghetti gave way to nausea.

“I really shouldn’t stay…” Ruby said uneasily, taking a step backwards, where she ran into a firm wall of Weiss.

Weiss, seeming to detect Ruby’s anxiety, firmly grasped Ruby’s free right hand, placed her other on Ruby’s upper arm, and whispered:

“It’s okay, Ruby. I’m here for you.”

The contact, and reminder that she was not alone, that she had someone on her side in this, helped to quiet the voices in Ruby’s head that were telling her to flee. They didn’t go away, but it made them much more manageable.

Ruby exhaled. She could do this.

“I mean, we came here for Weiss’s keys, and scroll. I… felt it might be best if I stay with her a few days, but…” Ruby shot a forced smile towards Violet’s disappointed face “If it’s for sketti, I guess we can stay a bit.”

Violet beamed at this, which took just a little bit more of the edge off.

Ruby swiveled into the first chair at the counter, and Weiss calmly and politely sat in the second. Yang apparently elected to keep her distance, leaving last chair unoccupied. Instead, she leaned against the wall on the far side of the kitchen entrance. Whether it was because she was unwilling to sit directly next to Weiss, she was keeping her distance from Ruby, or both, Ruby couldn’t be sure.

Blake was draining the noodles, it would be ready soon.

“It’s… good to see you up and about, Ruby.” Blake said with obvious unease.

“I’m… trying.” Ruby said, shifting in her seat. She hoped the mutual awkwardness would keep this line of conversation from going too far.

They both allowed that awkwardness to build for a few, tense seconds.

Fortunately, Weiss came to the rescue.

“Oh, um… hey! Look what I can do!” Weiss said, holding up her hand.

Two parallel glyphs appeared above Weiss’s hand as her eyes started to glow with the fire that signified use of her Maiden powers. A miniature tornado appeared between the glyphs. It tore around inside the glyphs with violent force, but the air outside the glyphs remained perfectly still, and silent.

Pyrrha definitely couldn’t do something like that without collateral.

Violet laughed and clapped at the display. Blake let out a slight hum that Ruby had come to realize meant she was impressed, and Yang gave a low whistle. 

The color of the glyphs shifted to a slight yellow tint, and gears formed within them. The tornado within sped it up its rotation considerably.

“Time dilation without dust.” Blake nodded. “It works like that?”

“Yeah, it combines with my glyphs the same way dust does.” Weiss responded, closing her hand. The display disappeared, along with the glow in her eyes.

“That could be super useful.” Yang said as Blake slid three plates full of spaghetti across the counter, each with a fork sticking out of the top. 

Ruby set Violet down into her lap to allow the girl to eat. She was awfully glad the shirt Pyrrha lent her was red.

Blake set another plate down on the end of the counter, and Yang made no attempt to grab it until Blake moved back away.

The message was clear, even if it wasn’t supposed to be. They were keeping their distance from each other. At least around Ruby. But, knowing Yang, it probably extended beyond that, too.

Ruby wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about that. It didn’t make her as happy as she’d expected.

Maybe because she’d stopped lying to herself about Blake’s feelings. 

Maybe because she knew there was no way it could ever go back to normal.

“Spaghetti with  _ chopsticks _ , Blake?” Weiss’s voice snapped Ruby back to reality.

“They work great with any noodle based dish.” Blake defended. “It’s what I’m used to.”

“At least she’s not using her hands.” Yang offered, nodding towards Violet.

“Violeeet! We talked about this!” Ruby whined. “You need to use your fork!”

Violet giggled and stuck her tongue out at Yang, then grabbed her fork and began using it, though it did little to cut down on the mess she made.

Ruby’s stomach gurgled, and she elected to start eating, herself.

After about three bites, the hunger caught up to her. During her long pity-fast, hunger was just a distant pang in the back of her mind.

Now it came back, full force as it ravenously claimed her attention.

Ruby’s plate was clean within seconds.

“Oh. Wow.” Blake said, surprised. “Would… would you like some more?”

“Yes.” Ruby said urgently.

“Yes pwease!” Violet said, looking up at her mother with a sauce-stained pout.

“Violet, don’t talk with your mouth full.” Blake chided.

“Yes please.” Ruby repeated, trying to set a good example for her daughter.

“Sorry.” Violet said, after swallowing her food.

Blake took Ruby’s plate and reloaded it with the last of the spaghetti. Blake probably would have made more were she actually expecting Ruby and Weiss. Ruby would have felt bad for depriving them of leftovers, but her stomach held ownership of her thoughts right now.

This second plate was eaten at a more normal pace, however.

As they finished, Ruby lifted Violet up and carried her around the counter towards the sink.

“Ruby, I can...” Blake began.

“No, I’ve got it.” Ruby responded, turning on the sink and wetting a washcloth.

Normally, this was the sort of thing Blake handled, but it had been three days and Ruby missed her daughter immensely. She was not about to give up any time she could spend with her, even if it was time spent trying to hold a squirming girl while she tried to refuse to have her face or hands wiped.

As Ruby turned around, she saw Weiss pick up her scroll with a frown. Three numbers flashed across the top right: 1,342, 657, and 4,893. If Ruby had to guess, those were the number of missed calls, voicemails, and unread messages respectively. 

“Yeah, your handlers have been blowing that up.” Yang offered. “I turned it off that first night.”

“Thank you for preserving  _ some _ charge on it.” Weiss grumbled with a pout, her bad mood not directed at anyone in the room.

As Ruby left the kitchen, her eyes caught the rows and rows of pictures along the back wall of the living room above the couch. Pictures of her, and Blake, and their happy little life together. Panic returned in full force.

“We should probably go now.” Ruby said, shooting Weiss a glance as she said the last word. Her chest was thumping out of control. She was shaking. Could they see her shaking?

“Aw…” Violet pouted her biggest, cutest pout. The one that pretty much always got her what she wanted.

It wasn’t helping.

“Sorry, Vi.” Ruby said, giving her a tight hug so she wouldn’t have to look at that adorable pout. “I’ll be back, uh, tomorrow, I guess.”

It seemed an impossible promise right now, but if it meant seeing her daughter, she’d find a way to make it work.

She set her down and released her from the hug. 

“I love you Violet.” She said, giving the girl a kiss between her cat ears before she stood back up.

“Blake…”

_ I love you _ , she wanted to say.

“Have a good night.” She said instead, retreating rapidly out the door and hoping no one noticed her tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends our initial posting group. These seventeen chapters are what I finished before the raging bonfire forcing me to start writing the story started to die down. That's not to say there aren't still some very hot embers leftover, but I can't do 10k words a day anymore. I don't know why, exactly, this is the point where my write-lust became sated, but I don't feel like it was a bad point to do so at. I only hope it's also somewhat satisfying for you, the readers.
> 
> That's not the say the story is anywhere near done. Oh no, far from it. I've written another 20k words or so already, but they're not ready for release, yet. There's still some work to be done before that happens. In the meantime, I do need a break. I'm handling it better than when I started posting, but it's still sometimes hard to hear about how your characters are the most awful people ever and that there's no hope for a happy ending. To be fair, when I was living it, I also couldn't see a happy ending coming, but I made it through. Okay, I haven't had my happy ending yet, but I've at least reached the point where I can see it happening again. I don't know that I've ever read a story that handles it in the way I do, though. One of my hopes for this story is that it can help people see another path; a light at the end of their tunnels. I suppose I won't know if I succeed until I get there, though. There's so, so much more that needs covered first.
> 
> In any case, the next group of chapters I post will contain at least 12 of them. It will also more than double the size of the story by word count... so far I've averaged over 2000 words per chapter there, and while it's buoyed by a 4000 word chapter mixed in there, the ones I have left to write should be on the larger side. When they are ready, I will post this group on a similar schedule to what I've done with the last 10 chapters, with one chapter coming out each day until the group is done.
> 
> I don't want to make guarantees, because these chapters seem like they'll need more revision work than the first group--my subconscious has stepped into a less active role, after all--but I'm targeting next Friday, May 17th for release. If it's not ready, I'll push it back another week, but expect it to come out on a Friday.
> 
> In any case, I'll try to keep this break from being terribly long. I know I've spoiled y'all a bit with the release schedule, and I'd like to keep you happy. ;)
> 
> Anyway, I hope y'all're still enjoying the story. And I hope you're as excited to see what happens next as I am to release it. :)


	18. Chapter 18

+-+-+-+

Yang Xiao Long came to just in time for the roof to come down around her head.

She threw up her arms and her Aura to protect herself and the faunus girl that was napping with her head stuck to her inner thigh.

The noise was definitely sufficient to wake Neon up.

“I thought you were the one who’d be seeing fireworks.” Neon said in a sultry growl.

“I think the roof just came down.” Yang said, matter-of-factly, pushing a huge chunk of debris off of the top of the stall they were in.

“That good, huh?” Neon giggled, squirming her way in closer to Yang.

“No, I’m serious.” Yang said, pushing her back. “Literally came down.”

Neon blinked and looked around.

“So it did.” She said, flopping backwards, giving Yang the opportunity to pull up her shorts.

Yang’s mind flashed between the possibilities. The tournament, the Battle of Beacon… her drunken mind instantly went to all the worst possibilities.

“I shouldn’t have let you talk me into this.” Yang grumbled, climbing over the edge of the stall to survey the damage.

“Fuck.”

It was a sobering sight. The bar she had been in had apparently been flattened by a giant Nevermore crashing to the ground. The Huntsman who had taken it down was now getting pummeled by an excessively large Beringel, and the city around them -- Mistral -- was burning. 

“Shitshitshit I knew I should have stayed to watch Ruby fight!” Yang shouted as she scrambled for her scroll. If she _had_ stayed, she wouldn’t be drunk. If she had stayed, she could be helping to keep her sister and her girlfriend safe.

“Neon! Call in your locker! It’s the Battle of Beacon all over again!”

Neon looked up to her, terrified, with eyes wide, and complied.

The terrifying thing was, it _was_ the Battle of Beacon all over again. Yang was once again drowning in her own misery instead of being there for the people who needed her most. If she’d stayed with Blake that night, would that scar on her abdomen exist? Might Yang still have both of her original arms? Would Ruby’s back have been so badly burnt?

She thought she’d been getting better… but this? This was worse.

Yang’s arm still had a shotgun in it, though, right? She could fight right out of the gate; no need to wait for her locker’s arrival. It would have been an amazing asset were it not countered by the loss of balance from how drunk she still was. She popped the port and took a few potshots at the Beringel. The gorilla-like beast ignored them, slamming its fists down upon the Huntsman. The fists came back up red.

The White Fang hadn’t captured anything this dangerous to release into the school last time. Sure, this could just be a general grimm attack, but judging from the size of it, there had been mass panic to draw them in. Mass panic that most likely had come during the tournament.

She shouldn’t have let Neon talk her into leaving. Shouldn’t have let Neon talk her into _anything_.

“It’ll be fine!” Neon had said. “It’s not like Ruby’s going to be in the first fight! The Drinking age is 20 in Mistral, and you haven’t gone out yet at all! You need to try it! Just this once!”

She hadn’t told Neon that it wouldn’t be her _first_ time, but it would be her first _legal_ drink. She’d never been terribly interested in it, but at that moment, she’d been feeling too down. It was worth a try, if it could help her deal with the jealousy she was having towards her own sister.

She’d tried to just have a few beers. With Uncle Qrow a presence in her life, she’d learned the value of moderation long ago.

“But you _have_ to try these!” Neon had insisted. “They’re soooo good! Like, they taste just like jello! And they’re not that strong. And you’re not a lightweight.”

 Neon punctuated the sentence with a wink. Yang elected to believe the dig was just some good-natured ribbing, and a challenge not worth passing up. For all the insults thrown her way, Neon had previously made it clear that she… _appreciated_ Yang’s physique. Something that had gotten her off on the wrong foot with Blake.

But the shots weren’t weak. And Yang hadn’t developed any sort of tolerance. Before long, Yang was embarrassingly drunk and Neon was giving her the pitch on all the benefits of polyamory, and how it was natural for Faunus, and how Blake would want it, too. Yang wasn’t so sure, but Neon seemed to be an expert on the matter, and logic was failing her inebriated mind. There were no counterarguments forthcoming.

Then, Ruby was selected to fight, and as Yang looked away from the Bar’s TV, she realized that Neon had definitely caught her dour expression.

“Ruby’ll destroy that first-year scrub in seconds!” Neon had insisted. “It probably won’t be worth watching. But right now? You could use some cheering up. Let me just give you a sample.”

A drunken kiss had led to them flopping over themselves to get into the bathroom, and locking themselves in a stall. Neon didn’t seem to mind that Yang kept calling her “Blake”. Yang had missed Ruby’s fight… and probably whatever had happened in the next hour or so since. The worst possible feelings of dread were returning to her.

_What if Ruby went missing again?_

_What if Blake got attacked again?_

_Why am I so far away from my team, yet again?_

Yang threw herself towards the Beringel as it roared in victory, only to stop as a red-and-black oval tore itself open in front of her. It matched the description Yang had been given of her mother’s semblance, and of what she’d barely remembered seeing on that train so long ago.

The masked, sword-toting figure that emerged also matched the description of her mother.

The fact that she was floating about three feet off the ground didn’t quite fit, however. Nor did the lightning blast that tore the Beringel in front of her apart.

“Figures you’d take after my brother.” Raven said, touching down slowly. “Maybe I was right to have abandoned you.”

“What the hell!” Yang shouted. She could feel her hair heating up, and the rage dying her eyes red.

“That’s what I should be asking you.” Raven clipped. “Getting drunk in a bar while your sloppy seconds is attacking your girlfriend and Summer’s girl? Honestly, I thought you’d be somewhere… important.”

“What?” Yang asked, her stomach dropping out from under her.

Neon could be heard behind her, struggling to climb her way out of the stall.

“My gods, Yang.” Raven chided, clicking her tongue and taking a long look at the marks on Yang’s thigh. “You don’t even know, do you? Too busy _cheating_ to notice that Adam Taurus is back, and your sister lost an arm on live broadcast?” Raven’s voice began to break, revealing emotions she was trying to keep hidden behind her mask. “You’re a miserable failure, Yang. The only thing you seem to be good for is giving me a place to teleport to. A place to run away. But at least I _tried_ to be there for this. You ran before the going got rough. That’s cold. Even for me.”

Raven rocketed into the air a few feet as the weapons lockers came crashing down. Those should have been impossible to ignore, but Yang could only watch her mother as she processed what she’d just been told. In the din, timed exactly with the collision Raven just… turned into a bird. A very familiar bird that Yang had noticed following her most of her life.

Was she going crazy?

She felt Neon’s hand on her shoulder as the girl slid in beside her.

All the fire in Yang’s soul left her in an instant. Snuffed out like a mere candle in the breeze, and not the raging inferno she liked to believe it was. All that was left was cold. Cold, and emptiness.

Raven had admitted to being a coward, but acknowledging that meant Yang had to admit that she was worse. Raven’s words were meant to hurt, and they did.

Because they were true.

Because everything that went wrong today, and would go wrong as a result of it, was her fault, in the end. Terrible decisions. A lapse of judgement. Outright infidelity. Her sister might be dead and the last interaction Yang had had with her was about how hurt Yang was that she wasn’t chosen for that fight instead of Ruby. She really should have been the one out there, getting hurt.

She deserved to die for her sins.

“Yang? You’re crying.” She said. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m the worst human being alive.” Yang sobbed, collapsing to the ground. “Don’t try to save me.”

The world became a blur. There was a great deal of fighting around her. Neon dragged her along regardless of what she said. Had to fight to protect the two of them, because Yang wouldn’t. How many times did Yang almost die that day?

How many times would she wish she had?

The world didn’t become clear again until Neon had dragged her into an infirmary, where she found herself face to face with her team.

Ruby was lying unconscious, propped up between Weiss and Blake. The stump that remained of her left arm was bandaged, as were Weiss’s ribs. Her last hope -- that Raven had been lying -- was shattered. Now she was face to face with her failures. Reality matched her greatest fears.

And she couldn’t bear it.

“Yang! Thank the gods you’re okay!” Blake said, as she eased Ruby fully onto Weiss, and ran up to Yang.

Yang put her arm out, halting Blake before she could get close. She wanted Blake to comfort her. She _needed_ Blake to comfort her… but she didn’t _deserve_ to have Blake comfort her.

She felt numb. So incredibly numb. It was like all ability to feel had been violently ripped from her heart.

“Yang?” Blake asked. She looked like she’d been slapped. She was tearing up just as much as if Yang had just slapped her, too.

Yang hated seeing Blake hurt like that.

Hate.

There was a feeling.

A fire welled within the nothingness. Stoked exclusively by the hate within her.

It was different than any fire she’d had burning within her before. But it was _something_.

“I’m such a fucking idiot.” Yang said, coldly, evenly. “I should have been there. I could have saved my sister.”

“Yang…” Blake began, pleading with her eyes, continuing to approach. “It’s okay. There’s nothing you could have--”

“It’s not okay!” Yang shouted, pushing Blake backwards. “I’m just… I’m the fucking worst. You deserve better. You all deserve better.”

“Yang!” Blake pleaded, pulling herself off the ground. “Yang, please!”

But Yang was already storming off into another part of the infirmary. She caught a glimpse in a reflective window of Blake attempting to follow her, but doubling over, only to be caught by Neon. She may not have been bleeding, but it seemed she’d been injured too. As Yang turned away from the window, she caught a glimpse of just how deeply, terrifyingly red her eyes were.

But they weren’t red for Blake. Or for Adam. Or for the White Fang. Or even Raven. No, this red was directed at exactly one person.

Hate for the person who had hurt Blake.

And not the physical kind of hurt.

Hurt that Blake did not yet know the full extent of.

Hurt that was only going to get worse.

Yang meant it when she’d said she was the worst. She meant it when she said Blake deserved better. Raven’s words echoed around her head. She _was_ a miserable failure, cheating on her girlfriend as her sister’s life was in danger. It’s not like she was drunk enough for that to be a _real_ excuse. Numbness gave way to nausea as another feeling clawed its way back into her consciousness.

Shame.

Yang lost her lunch, but continued walking. She _deserved_ to be this gross, covered in vomit. It just made her outside reflect what was within. She was a hideous monster. 

She deserved to die.

No, death… death would be too good for her.

She deserved worse.

She deserved to be _alone_. _Abandoned_.

The most painful thing that could happen to her that she could think of… she _deserved_ that, after what she’d done.

So she sought out the most secluded corner of this infirmary, and cried, giving angry, red-eyed glares to anyone who dared approach.

+-+-+-+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up... I really have no idea when. I know this was supposed to herald the next group of chapters, but it doesn't, at this point. They're not done. I just felt like I should put *something* out there, and this chapter finally got finished, so...
> 
> But... going forward, the first line of these notes is going to be what I have to say about the timing of the next chapter. That way, the people who hate reading my notes can get that information without having to worry about whatever else I have to say. Should make it easier to treat me as a dead author. So just... stop reading after the first paragraph in the future if that's what you want.
> 
> My... grandfather died yesterday. I'm taking it a lot harder than I thought I would. It's been a real hard time for me, lately. I can tell when I'm falling back into depression. Haven't felt this bad since the events in my life happened that this story ended up loosely reflecting. There is one good thing about the misery, though, in that it makes it easier to write this sort of thing.
> 
> This chapter was... missing something when I originally wrote it. It came immediately following the fever-dream of writing that lead to the first 17 chapters, after the inferno within me withered. Before today, I hadn't touched it since April 21st. I knew it needed work, but I didn't really know *what*. The events here have gone entirely unchanged, but the chapter's now twice as long as its original version. It was missing feeling, mostly. And right now, I've plenty of that to pour onto a page. I dunno, ideally it'd be... more, but it's beyond my current status to make it so.
> 
> In regards to critiques, well... I think some people need to realize that, just like you are under no obligation to read my story, I am under no obligation to read your responses to it. I've even less an obligation to provide you a platform for it. Most critiques honestly aren't written for the author, anyway: they're directed towards a mob, designed more to show off the critiquer's analytical skills than anything else. You start to notice that, when people have genuine advice, they take a very different tone.
> 
> Point is, I'm probably not going to read that many of them, unless I want to punish myself. Sure, I'll probably continue to have the ones that say stuff in the vein of "kill yourself" removed, but I'm ultimately writing this story for me, and no one else. It's great that many people happen to enjoy it, but I ain't bowing to anyone's will. If you hate me for it, so be it. I don't have the energy to care.


	19. Chapter 19

Dodge, parry, parry, thrust, dodge, swipe, parry.

It was the same thing Ruby Rose had done the last three nights.

And, just like the last three nights, it wasn’t Adam holding that wicked, red sword.

Instead, Blake and Yang held it. Together.

And together, after they removed her arm, they drove it straight through Ruby’s heart.

Ruby came to. She was cold, despite the thick duvet, and covered in sweat. She searched behind her with her feet in a panic. She needed Blake. She needed to be held, and comforted.

Just like the last three nights, she found nothing.

In desperation, she tried to pull back her hand to search, only to find it firmly within a strong grip, softly rubbing the back of her hand with a pair of thumbs.

Just like the last two nights.

Ruby opened her eyes, finding a concerned pair of icy blues looking back at her.

“I was loud again.” Ruby sighed, shivering.

“No,” Weiss began, “not really. I just… kinda expected it tonight, so I was…”

Weiss was sitting in a chair beside the bed. Apparently, she’d anticipated this enough to have one ready, and to check on Ruby regularly, despite sleeping in a different room. When Weiss had said “hotel room”, she’d meant “penthouse suite”.

“You don’t need to worry so much about me.” Ruby said.

“No, I think I do.” Weiss sighed. “I didn’t offer to have you stay with me just to paint our nails, try on clothes, and talk about ‘cute boys’”.

Ruby couldn’t help but let a smile tug at her lips as Weiss reminded her of how they’d met.

“So I take it you don’t want to talk about Jaune, then.” Ruby said, trying to force some mirthfulness. It came out more hollow, and harsher than she’d intended. Her own tone made her shudder.

“Since when have either of us ever thought he was cute?” Weiss deadpanned, smiling slightly herself. She’d picked up on Ruby’s intent, even if Ruby had flubbed the delivery.

“I still don’t want to be a burden.” Ruby said, allowing her head to roll upright on the pillow.

“You’re not, Ruby.” Weiss said. “And I’m not just saying that because… look, I’ve been away for six years. I’ve  _ missed _ you Ruby. Even as a friend. And as great as a team leader as you were, as much as you did for me… for all of us, over the years, it’s the least I could do.”

“Still…” Ruby began, “I’m sure you have a lot of work for the SDC… and Pyrrha’s going to want to train you… you need sleep, too. I don’t want to keep you up.”

“I’d hardly have been sleeping tonight, anyway.” Weiss replied. “I’ve been… catching up with some things with the company. It’s not like  _ they _ ever sleep, and they’ve needed my guidance more than ever, really. Plus… I kinda started… planning a funeral.”

“Weiss, you don’t have to…” Ruby said. “I’m sure the military has a big funeral planned for her already. That’s a lot to ask of you.”

“There… wasn’t a body to recover.” Weiss continued. “The military is going to do something with pomp and circumstance, but… it’ll all be fake. The people… the people who cared about her, that she cared about, well, most of us are in Vale. I thought I’d do… something smaller… something…”

Weiss choked on her next words as tears flooded down her face. It was Ruby’s turn to comfort, and she shifted her grip to hold Weiss’s hand tight.

“Weiss, I’m sure we can have someone--”

“It’s okay, Ruby.” Weiss said, collecting herself. “It’s good for me… it’s... helping. I just… I need closure. I can’t wait for it too long. That’s why I’ve scheduled it for this weekend.”

“That’s… very soon.” Ruby said, raising an eyebrow in concern.

“It’s… not that much to plan.” Weiss said. “Just get a place, some chairs, print off some pictures, gather some people around, and… talk.”

“Are you asking me to give a speech?” Ruby asked.

“You don’t have to.” Weiss said quickly. “Just… I know you were close. Maybe it started with this whole Ozpin business, but… she talked about you a lot, you know.”

“I’d be honored to give one, Weiss.” Ruby said, sniffing back a tear of her own. “Sometimes, it was like she was  _ my _ older sister, too.”

Weiss opened her mouth as if to say something, but apparently decided against it, sitting in silence for a long minute.

Ruby sighed.

“Weiss, I’m probably okay now.” She said. “But you really need some sleep. You should go back to bed.”

Weiss nodded, finally releasing Ruby’s hand to wipe her face. She blinked a few times, got up, pulled the chair back close to the wall, then walked towards the door, stopping in the entryway.

“Goodnight, Ruby.” Weiss said, weariness visible in her eyes from all the way across the room.

“Goodnight, Weiss.” Ruby said. “And… Thank you.”

Weiss may have been called the “Ice Queen”, but the room was much colder  _ without _ her presence. Ruby really didn’t want to be alone, but the person she craved to have by her side was the one living person she couldn’t stand to face right now.

So she tried to keep herself quiet as she sobbed herself back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! New Chapter! Shorter one, though. Don't get used to it, though. It would take a literal miracle for me to be able to post another chapter next week. Timing is still ambiguous for future chapters. Sorry. Next one will be decently long, at least. Actually, I think I've only got three other chapters that are not (yet) over 2000 words.
> 
> In any case, much like last week, the chapter was ready, and I had no real justification for not posting it. Not trying to punish myself this time, though. Amazingly, this is the one chapter I've written that hasn't had any real changes to it. Sure, I gave it a once-over (about six times) fixing spelling / grammar mistakes and looking for good changes, but... at the end of the day, couldn't find anything I liked better than what I've got. S'not to say I feel like this is my best chapter ever or anything. This chapter does only what it needs to.
> 
> Also, last week was a flashback. I know it confused some people, and I think that has a lot to do with the time between updates, but it got me thinking on how I could be a little more explicit about it without hitting y'all over the head with "this is a flashback". I know the convention is italics, but I feel like that doesn't really work for the length of flashbacks you'll be seeing coming up. Ultimately, I have decided on a somewhat subtle approach: all flashbacks (including the past ones) will have this at the top and the bottom of them: +-+-+-+ . I feel like that'll strike an appropriate balance. Like feathered edges for a flashback video. And observant people should pick up on that even while ignoring my author's notes. 
> 
> Finally, because it's exhausting to keep seeing it: quite a few have asked which "character" I am in this. The true answer is "none of them." Now, I know some of y'all are going "Ha! I knew it! She's Blake!" To that, but... if so, you're barking up the wrong tree. While this story reflects my own, it is *not* my personal history. Actually, this story has taken the edge off of some of what happened to me: blunted it and reduced the impact. In the meantime, none of these characters are author-inserts for me. Not even Ruby, whose experience most closely mirrors my own. She's definitely made some significantly different decisions than I did, but... y'know, there's kinda a reason she's the main perspective character here.


	20. Chapter 20

Yang Xiao Long had been out most of the day, fighting Grimm. Secretly, she was hoping she’d miss Ruby’s visit. 

Ruby’s reappearance last night had been awkward, to say the least. Yang couldn’t remember a time when Ruby had been so… timid. She’d avoided eye contact with Blake and Yang, and focused almost entirely on her daughter. Then, something spooked her, and she’d booked it out of there in a hurry. Ruby hadn’t even bothered to grab any changes of clothes. Yang had taken it upon herself to pack Ruby a go-bag for today, but she’d hoped that she wouldn’t be around when Ruby grabbed it. 

Yang was pretty sure her continued presence in the Rose household was where a part of that awkwardness came from.

Blake was still demanding that she not try to go elsewhere, however, and Violet seemed quite happy to have her around, so Yang resolved to do her best to not be there when Ruby was.

If she’d had her way, she would have been fighting well into the late evening, but as the Attack on Atlas became old news, the panic subsided, and the Grimm attacks were growing easier to deal with every day. At a certain point, Yang found herself waiting for some Grimm, any Grimm, even just a creep, to sneak its way past the automated Atlesian guards and turrets, and realized it just wasn’t worth her time to stay out there.

She considered going drinking… CFVY was going out in celebration of their relative safety returning, and had invited her along, but for once, Yang thought better of it. Were she to get back to Ruby’s place while being drunk only to find her sister actually present, there would be hell to pay… hell Yang was not willing to go through.

Plus, aside from that first morning, Violet had been avoiding her when she smelled like alcohol…

So she had returned early in the afternoon, painfully sober, only to watch the little girl’s heart break as Yang walked through the door instead of Ruby.

“She hasn’t been home yet?” Yang asked Blake, only to get a shaken head in response.

Hopefully Ruby was okay, and not trying to back out on her promise. Violet desperately wanted to see her momma, and Yang… Yang desperately wanted Ruby to heal. Not just because she desperately wanted  _ Blake _ , but that  _ would _ be a great perk of her sister’s wellbeing.

In the meantime, she had a depressed almost-five-year-old she could take care of.

Yang lifted Violet above her head, walking around the small apartment space making “whoosh”-ing noises as she tilted Violet around the turns. This brightened the little girl’s mood, and even got her to laugh a couple of times. Blake, meanwhile, watched from the couch with a bemused expression. One that made Yang fall in love all over again.

Separation from Blake was  _ incredibly _ difficult.

Yang probably couldn’t have done it if she didn’t  _ deserve _ it.

By the time she’d heard the knock on the door, she’d long since moved onto helping Violet re-start the puzzle from last night. The sun had set, and it was approaching Violet’s bedtime, but the girl refused to even  _ consider _ bed before Ruby showed up.

Yang and Blake exchanged a look. For Violet’s sake, they both hoped this was her.

Blake answered the door this time, as Yang strategically slid out of the way to make room for Violet to dash at the door if it was.

Apparently not fast enough, however, as Violet took off in a dash before the door was entirely open, and stumbled over Yang’s leg.

Yang was at least a little bit jealous that she did not have faunus-grade hearing. 

Ruby stepped into the apartment with Violet in her arms, and Weiss in tow. She was apologizing for taking so long, saying it had something to do with how busy Weiss had been all day.

If it were a lie, Weiss’s dispassionate expression didn’t betray it. A look from Blake, however, told Yang everything she needed to know. For Violet’s sake, no one called her on it.

Violet directed Ruby over to the puzzle, and Yang began to stand up to give them space.

“Aunty Yang! You gotta stay and help!” Violet whined.

“But you have your momma here…” Yang said.

“But I need your help pacifically!” Violet said, crossing her arms. “Hers too! So you’re just gonna hafta get along.”

Violet probably thought herself very clever, doing what she was doing. Yang and Ruby could see right through it. They exchanged a glance, a shrug, and set to work helping Violet assemble the puzzle.

Blake offered Weiss a seat on the couch, but Weiss stayed standing, fidgeting nervously.

“There’s… um… going to be a funeral… for Winter.” Weiss said after a few moments of silence.

“One of those big military ones, right?” Yang offered. “She definitely deserves the honor…”

“N-no.” Weiss stammered. “I mean, there  _ will _ be one of those, but… I’ve arranged for a smaller gathering. In Vale. This Saturday. I’d like you all to be there.”

“Of course we will be, Weiss.” Blake said, reaching up to pat her shoulder.

With Blake being a stay at home mom, and Yang not having any long-term missions scheduled, it wasn’t like they’d have any conflicts.

“Thank you.” Weiss said, rubbing at her eyes. “I know she was very dear to… to all of us.”

Blake helped Weiss into a seat on the couch, and went off to fetch some tissues.

“What about you, Yang?” Ruby asked as she guided Violet into slotting in another piece.

“As long as Weiss is okay with me there.” Yang nodded. “Which, I think she is, since she just asked me.”

Ruby nodded in response, and Blake returned to Weiss with the tissues.

“So…” Yang began, trying to find a direction to carry the conversation Violet was intent on them having. “What did you do all day when waiting for Weiss, Ruby?”

“Oh, y’know…” Ruby began, looking away. “Thought about things, meditated, abused my room service privileges…”

Yang didn’t need to look at Blake to know that Ruby was lying about at least  _ some _ of that. More than that, she was likely hiding what her main activity during the day had been, and even though Ruby had definitely washed her face, and was putting on an impressive mask, Yang could venture a guess at what that might be.

“What about you?” Ruby asked after an awkward pause.

“Spent most of the day fighting Grimm on the borders.” Yang said, watching Ruby flinch slightly as she said that. “But I’ve spent the last few hours playing with Vi, here.”

“Aunty Yang is lots of fun!” Violet chimed in with a wide smile. “She flew me around like an airship!”

“I’ll bet that was fun.” Ruby said, tickling Violet’s ribs and eliciting a few giggles. “How are the borders, Yang?”

There was concern in those big silver eyes. Ruby was ready to run straight to the border and start fighting. It was good to see that spark returning, but even if the border situation hadn’t calmed down, it would probably be better for Ruby to be selfish for once in her life.

“Things have really calmed down.” Yang said, honestly, but Ruby’s eyes scanned her for the lie. “It’s why I was home early enough to play, y’know. Kinda ran out of things to do out there.”

The way Ruby’s nose wrinkled in a subtle sniff made it clear to Yang she’d made the right choice in avoiding the bars this afternoon.

Ruby stared through Yang, silver eyes drilling their way down to her soul. Yang felt terrifyingly naked and alone.

“Didn’t have anything else to do today?”

“Uh… no.” Yang managed, rubbing the back of her neck and sheepishly returning her gaze. “Not really.”

Violet tugged at Ruby’s sleeve and ended their staring contest.

“Momma, where does this piece go?”

“Oh, um… right here, sweetie.”

It was a piece Yang had just helped Violet place a minute ago. The girl was being sneaky. It wasn’t about the puzzle for her.

It wasn’t really about  _ this _ puzzle for  _ any _ of them.

The question on Yang’s mind, right now, was whether Ruby had been asking if Yang was drinking, or if she had been asking about what she might be doing with Blake. Today, at least, the answer to both those questions could be summed up as “nothing I’m not supposed to be doing.”

Even if she could  _ really _ use a drink right now. It was easier to deal with people who were mad at you while you were drunk.

Well, as long as the person mad at you wasn’t yourself.

In any case, mad was  _ something _ . It was worlds better than the dead look she’d had in her eyes that fateful night.

“Aunty Yang doesn’t smell like Grunkle Qrow most mornings.” Violet said matter of factly out of nowhere.

Gods this girl was observant. She must have caught the sniff, too. And she must have known it was something Ruby would be… on edge about. She probably thought she was helping.

“ _ Most _ mornings?” Ruby asked incredulously, shooting Yang another glare.

The apologetic look on Violet’s face make it clear that this was the opposite of what she’d hoped would happen.

“I-I…” Yang began.

Violet had already been in bed all three times Yang had come in drunk. The smell should have been relatively faint by morning. Yeah, the girl had been avoiding her, but she didn’t think she was doing it  _ consciously _ . Blake had insisted to her that she didn’t have any kind of enhanced sense of smell, since extra ears weren’t involved in that, but Yang cursed enhanced Faunus senses anyway.

“Yang’s still no stranger to self punishment.” Blake saved her. Sort of.

Ruby’s expression shifted from one of rage to one of concern. Concern and… pity.

Yang had very intentionally not invited anyone else to her pity party. She  _ really _ hated it when other people would pity her.

Blake hadn’t saved her. She’d made it worse.

“Yang, you don’t have to--” Ruby began to plead.

“I don’t have to  _ what _ , Ruby?” Yang snapped, cutting her off. “My. Demons. Are. My. Own.”

“Aunty Yang, that’s scary.” Violet said. She was  _ terrified _ . “Please bring back the pretty purple eyes…”

Yang blinked a few times, and saw the terror mostly leave Violet’s face.

But not entirely.

“I used to think that, too.” Ruby said, looking down. She inadvertently crushed one of the puzzle pieces in her hand as she closed them tightly. “But, well, I think we both know how well that worked for me.” Ruby looked back up. “Did you make it to your therapy appointment today?”

Ruby already knew the answer. Even if the events leading up to today hadn’t made Yang forget, they both knew she wasn’t going to go without constant prodding. Constant prodding that Ruby wasn’t there to provide.

Rather than give Ruby the admission she wanted, Yang decided to go on the defensive.

“You didn’t go to yours either.” She retorted. Ruby’s had been scheduled for two days ago.

“I’ll get it rescheduled.” Ruby deflected, looking away again, before looking back to Yang. “You should, too.”

Yang opened her mouth to say something about not needing to, but Weiss spoke first.

“Yang, you  _ need _ to.” She said. “I know I haven’t been the best girlfriend… okay, I’ve been a terrible girlfriend. I’ve been… unsupportive, and… antagonistic. But you trying to do  _ everything _ all by yourself… that hurt you more than anything I did to you… and, I was kind of trying sometimes.”

Weiss would not have made these admissions cheaply. Sure, they were obvious in retrospect, but it was another thing entirely to  _ hear _ them from your ex. This gave her a stranglehold on Yang’s attention.

“You’ve never been good at taking care of yourself, Yang.” Weiss continued. “You’ve always tried too hard to take care of  _ us _ . Even when I was… when I was terrible, you kept going out of your way to  _ try _ to help me. But sometimes, you start acting like you believe that punishing yourself is something that will help us. It never is. It never was. It  _ has _ to stop, Yang.”

Yang could see Weiss beginning to tear up as she felt the sting of a tear on her own cheek.

“I-I…” she began. She had no idea what she wanted to say.

A warm weight slammed into her chest and saved the day as Violet hugged her. How bad had Yang needed a hug?

When Ruby slid over and joined in on the hug, Yang wanted to say it was unwelcome. She’d been  _ so angry _ just a few seconds ago. Instead, the reminder that her sister still cared about her, even after everything that had happened, did wonders to lighten the weight on her heart.

Weiss, not Blake, was next. Yang was disappointed by this fact, but she had been the one to demand distance. She shouldn’t be so disappointed that Blake would respect what she pretended her wishes were. Still, this was a vast improvement compared to when Weiss arrived in Vale, hungry for blood.

Blake, fortunately, followed. It would have been  _ too _ conspicuous if Blake had been the only one not to join in, so this clearly overrode the agreement they’d had previously. Yang wished this hadn’t been the only hug she needed, that, even with three other people clinging to her, Blake’s arms were the only ones she noticed. It was a touch too long in coming, its impact fueled by all the tension between them these last few days. Yang melted under Blake’s touch.

How was she supposed to keep the distance up for the foreseeable future?

Maybe that was something a shrink could actually help with.

Yang sobbed into the combined grip as she finally allowed her emotions to wash out of her.

It was good to be loved.

Even when she couldn’t love herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guess what? It's happening! That's right, we're finally starting the second posting group! I know I've hemmed and hawed about the schedule for it, but seeing as I'm actually starting doing it, I do finally have a solid idea of how it's going to happen: new chapters will be posted twice a week: Monday and Thursday, for the next 5 weeks (there are 10 more chapters after this one). Yeah, I know I originally planned to do that on a Friday, and I know I spoiled some of y'all with the daily nature of the original release, but this is what I can manage at the moment. Once these 11 chapters are out, the story will have more than doubled in length from everything before this chapter, though, and that'll get us to... well, roughly the halfway point of the story, but a very general estimation. Also, the chapters in this group tend to be, on average, about 800 words longer than the last group... and that increased average isn't just because chapter 29 will be huge (and is still growing, it's not quite finished yet, but... eh. It's not a hard one to write). 
> 
> You always hope that you can do these things faster than they happen, but... lets just say my last month was pretty hard on me. I *was* close when last I posted... I only wrote on two of the days between the last chapter and this one, but hey, it's finally ready. Better nate than lever. ;)
> 
> I'm also nervous and excited about this grouping, because it has some of the most important scenes, some of what I personally feel is my best work, and some things that will, no doubt, set off the people who like to get very angry at me for this story. Hopefully that last group is more or less gone at this point, though. If they're not enjoying the story, they don't have to read it. 
> 
> Finally, I know it's been a while, especially since the first parts... but... this is a story where the little things do matter, and there is no shortage of them. If you find yourself being confused by things, it might not be a terrible idea to give the earlier parts of the story a re-read, given how hard it can be to remember all those little things over a period of... uh... like, 5 months ish? Yeah, no one can blame you for not remembering everything at this point. You can only blame me for taking so long. ;)


	21. Chapter 21

+-+-+-+

The first two rounds of the tournament had been an absolute breeze.

It made sense. Ruby Rose, one of the Heroes of Beacon, was an overwhelming favorite to win the entire Vytal Festival Tournament.

If only because Pyrrha had declined to enter.

The first round, with the full team, had been settled in seconds. An ice wall to hem them in, a well placed ribbon from Blake, a boost of speed from Ruby, and a single, powerful punch from Yang ended the fight in a ring-out with nary a scratch on Team RWBY.

The second round took longer, but Ruby and Yang finished that fight with both of their Aura levels above 90%. The announcers had referred to it as a massacre. Given what had happened at Beacon, Ruby hadn’t found that to be in good taste.

Now, it was Ruby’s turn to go it alone. Truth be told, Yang was probably the stronger fighter between the two of them, especially in a 1v1, but the world had wanted, no,  _ demanded _ an appearance from  _ one _ of the Heroes of Beacon, and since Pyrrha didn’t trust herself not to accidentally reveal her Maiden Powers in a tough fight, it was up to Ruby.

Ruby was still a bit miffed that what should have been a team decision had been taken away from them, even if she was happy to show off her skills.

But Glynda had taken over as headmaster, and broke the news to the team. Even if Ozpin had been the one to actually make that call.

Yang, meanwhile, had been pretending like she took it well. She put all her focus and effort, at least, what was left over beyond what her girlfriend demanded, into training Ruby to be in top shape for the tournament. Still, Ruby could see how hurt she was over it, that, even though she would have been the team’s choice, she would never get a chance to show the world she was more than a violent thug who lashes out at the end of a fight. Even if the world now knew Mercury was a terrorist, they  _ also _ knew that, at the time, Yang didn’t.

That had been made pretty obvious by the fact that Yang had been boo’ed when she, not Ruby, landed the final blow of their doubles match.

So while Ruby was disappointed to see an empty seat next to a sad Blake in the stands, she wasn’t surprised.

Her opponent was supposed to be here by now. Some young Faunus girl, who was apparently a first year. She fought with a whip, and could change color. Ruby got the distinct impression Blake knew her, but wasn’t willing to share someone else’s secrets. Ruby had guessed she was another former White Fang member trying to get her life back on track, just like Blake.

She’d kinda hoped to have a chance to make friends with the girl after the fight, but that probably wouldn’t happen if the fight didn’t happen in the first place.

The person who emerged, roughly 15 minutes late, was a Faunus, but it wasn’t her opponent.

She knew there’d be a fight on her hands, anyway.

The crowd audibly gasped as Adam Taurus, terrorist leader of the White Fang, the man who’d attacked her team, nearly killed Blake, and had taken Yang’s arm, stepped into the arena. 

Ruby’s blood ran cold. 

Behind him, the crowd erupted in a panic as a few of its members pulled out masks and weapons, and started mowing down the unarmed masses.

She ventured a glance over to Blake and Weiss, only to see them fighting the person who was supposed to have been her opponent. If not for Weiss’s summoning, which they’d worked hard to keep a secret, they would have been in big trouble.

“You know, I’d hoped to have another shot at blondie.” Adam said coldly, casually walking towards her. “I promised to kill everything Blake  _ loved _ , and she’s the top of the list. But I suppose being abandoned and alone will be good enough. And you… well, she probably thinks of you as ‘family’. You’ll have to do.”

Ruby did not justify his ranting with a verbal response. She launched towards him, Crescent Rose in Warscythe mode, hoping her speed would be enough to catch him off guard, and take him down without too much of a fight.

He didn’t dodge. He didn’t parry. He blocked the blow with his sword, full-on. Blocking was generally supposed to be a last resort, since it drained your aura faster than your attacker’s. Ruby took this as a sign. After all her hard work since the Battle of Beacon, she had the man outclassed. She’d take him down, then go save her team.

Every strike from her subsequent flurry of blows was also blocked. Was he this bad at fighting? Ruby tried to find a good opening, but taking him down this way would work, too. At this rate, she’d eventually be able to break his Aura, and cut that stupid red sword in half.

She launched herself backwards, and fired a few rounds at him. He blocked those too, even though Ruby knew from experience that that was a  _ terrible _ idea. Her high-impact sniper rounds did  _ huge _ amounts of damage, and if you tried to block them, it would shake you to your very core. Even  _ Yang _ never really tried to block them when she could avoid it.

Suddenly, Adam smirked, and his demeanor changed. Rather than the slow, methodical forward steps he had been taking, he rushed forward, and launched into his own counterattack. He was incredibly fast! Why had he been holding back?

She was on her back foot now, fighting defensively, and trying to hold off his onslaught.

Dodge, parry, parry, thrust, dodge, swipe, parry.

At least she wasn’t stupid enough to try to block. She could still wear him down, as long as he continued to be unable to hit her.

The blade flashed red. Everything that wasn’t red turned to black. Ruby tried to dodge out of the way, but the blow came too fast. There was a great deal of pain on her left arm, but her Aura was still intact… if suddenly extremely low. With her right arm, she could feel her grip on Crescent Rose falter on the left, even though she was certain she was still gripping the weapon with all her might.

There was a sickening plop as something hit the ground.

Ruby’s left arm was lying on the ground.

Her vision flashed. Suddenly, it was Yang’s right arm.

From this position, she could see her teammates fighting valiantly, but the numbers were overwhelming. A whip-like sword struck Weiss in the side, breaking her Aura, and her summons with it.

Ruby’s vision flashed again. It wasn’t Weiss getting hit this time, it was Blake, and it wasn’t a whip, it was the same red sword that was stained with the blood of three members of her team.

The scars across Ruby’s back began to burn. Not painfully, in the same way they had when she’d got them, but instead they burned with energy. With anger. 

There was no way Ruby was going to allow this to happen.

Not again.

This was  _ her _ team. Her  _ life! _ Her people to protect. She was Ruby godsdamned Rose, the indomitable Hero of Beacon. She was not some small and helpless child. She hadn’t even turned 18 yet, but she was already one of the most accomplished and recognizable Huntresses in the world. She didn’t belong to Adam, or Oz, or Glynda, or Pyrrha, or even her own sister and team. She could make her own damned decisions.

Right now, with red fuzz clawing in from the edge of her vision, she decided that Adam Taurus had to die.

As she launched towards him, her vision went entirely red.

 

When she finally regained cognitive control, and her rage faded, she found herself lying in an infirmary, propped up by Weiss and Blake, both of whom seemed to be hurt, but both of whom were fortunately alive.

“What happened?” Ruby croaked. Her voice was sore and hoarse, like she’d been yelling for  _ hours _ . “Where’s Yang?”

“Yang is… alive.” Blake sobbed. There was something she wasn’t saying, though. Something  _ very _ bad.

“She didn’t seem physically hurt…” Weiss added somewhat reassuringly. It was, but there was a “but” in there, somewhere.

“She’s not letting  _ anyone _ go near her.” Blake continued to sob. 

That meant Blake, too. That was a really bad sign.

“She and Neon… they… might have been doing something they weren’t supposed to… when… everything went down.” Weiss sighed. “I think she’s taking it pretty hard that she was doing  _ that _ instead of being there for us. She’ll get over it, though. She was a big part of keeping us all together after… last time.”

“I’ve already forgiven her.” Blake sobbed out louder. “I don’t even care! I just… right now I just  _ need _ her! And she needs me! And I just… I just…”

Ruby tried to reach over with her left, dominant hand to pat Blake on the back, but found only a bandage wrapped stump. She shuddered at the sight, but steeled herself and instead performed the act with her right hand.

“What about… Adam.” Ruby managed with a great deal of effort.

“He’s dead.” Weiss said, with a hint of confusion. “You... killed him. You lost you arm and… just snapped, I guess. It was terrifying, you… you kept just… stabbing into him even after he was dead. Then… then you bashed through the barrier, and killed… that girl who was attacking us. Then you went around the colosseum and…” Weiss’s expression shifted to awe. “Ruby, you may have single-handedly destroyed the White Fang.”

“Heh.” Ruby choked out, holding up the stump of her left arm.

The mortified look on Weiss’s face made it clear the line hadn’t been intentional. 

Still, Ruby needed something. The mood was terrible in here, and despite how bad she was feeling, she knew it’d be up to her to pull everyone back up. Just like last time. Just like it always was.

Ruby knew she was the glue that held everything together, so if  _ she _ could pretend to find humor in things, it would help  _ them _ move past it, and bounce back stronger than ever, just like last time. 

Ruby busied herself with thinking of all the ways having a robot arm might actually be kinda cool. It was hard, but if she could just shove all the panic and pain of having lost her arm back down, and bottle it up, she could make it work.

After a few seconds, Blake interrupted.

“You… saved us, Ruby.” She said, wiping at her tears and trying to collect herself. “Thank you.”

Blake gave Ruby a small kiss on the forehead.

Ruby spent a lot of time trying not to think of her sister’s girlfriend… like that, but right now, it was unavoidable. The kiss, clearly intended to be platonic, still sent shivers down Ruby’s spine as tingly electric bolts radiated out from where it’d happened. Ruby’s mind quickly went to where else she might like to feel those lips as the sensation lingered, before she was able to take control of those feelings and shove them back down with the rest.

Blake was going to marry Yang one day, even if Yang was throwing a tantrum right now.

That meant Blake was going to be just as much her sister as Yang.

Ruby needed to not have these thoughts.

Because Blake was going to be in her life. Forever, and that was wonderful, but Ruby needed to not make it awkward for herself.

Still, much like Yang, Ruby would do  _ anything _ to protect Blake. She also hoped Weiss would be there, too. They’d be BFF’s one day, even if Weiss kept dismissing the idea, even if she’d already given up on the idea of Weiss being  _ more _ than that to her.

Ruby put her arm around Blake and pulled her into a tight hug.

They were her team. Her family. Ruby would protect them.

Even if she couldn’t remember doing it.

+-+-+-+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we keep rolling along! Next chapter will be posted on Monday!
> 
> I feel like I always struggle with the flashback scenes. If I actually read them over, they usually don't seem that bad, but when I haven't looked at them in a while, there's always a nagging feeling that they're missing... something. I dunno, maybe I feel restricted by the lack of freedom in writing about events that have already happened. Either way, they definitely get the most revision work done on them. I like to think they come out okay, but I'd definitely understand if some readers saw them as the weaker chapters. Which is unfortunate, because they're usually very important, but hey, you don't get better by not doing them. So, at the end of the day, I try not to hold myself to an unachievable standard of perfection.
> 
> I mean... it's just fan fiction, right?


	22. Chapter 22

As Ruby and Weiss said their goodbyes, Yang Xiao Long decided she wanted to go for a walk.

Ruby’s last few visits had gone reasonably well. She was still nervous, and there were still topics that no one seemed willing to bring up, but she was spending most of the day with her daughter, and Violet was overjoyed to see her momma again. Yang had done her best to stick around, but it had been hard. Not nearly as hard as it was to keep herself from jumping Blake every time Ruby left, but hard nonetheless.

She’d promised herself she’d at least make it through the funeral tomorrow, and that would be a hell of a lot easier if she wasn’t in the same room as Blake right now.

So Yang put on her jacket, and followed a good distance behind her sister and ex-girlfriend, waiting for the next elevator after them. As she exited the building, she saw Weiss and Ruby getting into the fancy car Weiss had been using to get around town. Her driver was closing the door behind them. Yang turned to walk the other direction, into the cool night air.

She got a good distance before she heard a familiar rapidfire clip of heels behind her.

She turned back to see the car gone, and Weiss chasing her.

“Yang, we need to…” Weiss began, before taking a deep breath. “Can we talk?”

“I guess.” Yang said, shrugging and turning back to continue her walk. “But this isn’t going to be like one of our relationship talks, is it? Neither of us are drunk, and we both know we’re not getting back together this time.”

“N-No! Nothing of the sort!” Weiss said, visibly flustered as she fell in-step next to Yang. “I mean, not like that. I do want to discuss some things but… but I’m not trying to get back together, or hurt you this time.”

Yang just grunted in response. Maybe not  _ this _ time, but Weiss had definitely used these talks against her before.

“Yang, I’d… like to apologize to you.” Weiss said.

Well, that was a first.

“I realize you… um… don’t really remember the night we broke up, but…” Weiss continued. “Ruby made me promise that I’d be… honest with all of you in the future. And I think that means I need to let you know what actually happened that night.”

Weiss sounded like she felt very guilty about  _ something _ in regards to that night, and Yang had always felt like it would have taken more than what she’d been told happened to actually get her to snap like that.

“I’m listening.” Yang said, trying to keep her eyebrow from raising.

“I didn’t  _ just _ break up with you… actually… I didn’t even call it off until after… y’know.” Weiss said, struggling with the words. “After I… goaded you into punching me, so I could. Even dropped my Aura on purpose for it.”

“You sure were angry about it for a girl who  _ wanted  _ to be punched.” Yang said, trying to keep her tone even. She kept looking forward, away from Weiss. She knew her eyes were probably turning red about now.

“Some of that was an act…” Weiss began. “Some of that was because I just thought I’d get bruised, not lose a tooth. Most of it was because I had already spent years mad at you, but never really allowing myself to just… let it all out.”

“I suppose that’s why you usually only started fights when we were drunk.” Yang said, doing her best to sound disinterested.

“I guess I still wanted to make us work.” Weiss sighed. “Even if it was a lost cause from the start.”

“Maybe if we weren’t both hung up on other people…” Yang said, shaking her head.

“Maybe.” Weiss said, allowing the crisp silence to take over briefly.

“That still doesn’t really excuse me from throwing the punch in the first place.” Yang offered. It was meant to be an olive branch.

“I didn’t… I didn’t really mean what I said that night.” Weiss said. 

“What exactly did you say?” Yang asked, trying to get Weiss to avoid dancing around the question.

“I’m… I’m worried if I say it again… You’ll punch me.” Weiss said sheepishly.

Yang doubted that. It’s not like she was drunk right now.

“I won’t.” Yang said, detaching her right arm and handing it to Weiss, to make the promise clear.

Weiss exhaled a long sigh as she took the arm, and held it close to her chest.

“Okay, so… what I said was… and again I must remind you that I didn’t really mean it… I said that… when you left Blake, after the Fall of Haven… I said that that decision of yours ruined my life. I said it ruined  _ your _ life… and... “ Weiss got really quiet for the last part. “I said you ruined Blake’s.”

Yang caught herself turning toward Weiss, hair aflame and left arm raised in a fist. She stood there in this pose, for just a second, as Weiss flinched back.

That had touched a nerve she didn’t know she still had.

Yang let out a long exhale as she closed her eyes and lowered her arm.

“I guess that would have done it.” Yang said, more calmly, opening her eyes and holding out her hand for her arm.

Her eyes must have returned to lilac, because she got the arm back.

“Even if you didn’t mean it,” Yang continued, “I don’t think you were completely wrong.”

“Yang, of course I was!” Weiss offered defensively. “I ruined my own life, I certainly didn’t help yours, and Blake was happy with Ruby.”

“Blake really wasn’t happy.” Yang said as she finished worming the arm back up her sleeve, reconnecting it with a satisfying pop. “If you look closely at the photos in the apartment… you can kinda see that. She was faking. Maybe she was even trying to be, but…”

Yang didn’t actually expect Weiss to be quite that in-tune with reading Blake’s expressions. Heck, not even Ruby was, and she’d been married to Blake for… longer than Yang had ever been around her.

“If that’s the case…” Weiss began, “why are the two of pretending like you can’t go within 10 feet of each other?”

“Because I can’t hurt Ruby like that, not again.” Yang shook her head.

“What about you, and Blake?” Weiss replied softly. “The two of you deserve to be happy too. Ruby told me she just wanted all of us to be honest with each other in the future.”

“Does that mean you’re finally being honest with her?” Yang shot back.

“Sort of…” Weiss began, gripping the hem of her skirt. “She figured it out before I got the chance…”

“So, then.” Yang grunted. “What you’re trying to tell me is that it’s okay that I hurt my sister because you’re taking her up to your penthouse and diddling her until it’s all better?”

“I’m doing no such thing!” Weiss shot back. “She  _ knows _ , but she made it clear it wasn’t going to happen!”

“And you let that stop you?” Yang stopped walking, turning to face Weiss and crossing her arms.

“You’re the one with self control issues, not me.” Weiss said, placing her hands on her hips. “I can still be there for her as a friend!”

“Well, you better not be taking advantage of my sister.” Yang said, glaring at Weiss. “You  _ know _ she takes guilt just as hard as I do, even if she expresses it differently.”

“And yet you’re still taking advantage of her wife.” Weiss shot back with a smug grin.

Yang turned away and began to stomp off.

“Wait, shit.” Weiss began to chase after her. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I shouldn’t have said that. It just slipped out!”

“So much for self control.” Yang grumbled.

“Okay, fine, I have problems too.” Weiss huffed. “But we’re… we’re all trying, right. Ruby’s fighting her hardest to bring herself home to be with her daughter, even though she  _ knows _ you and Blake are going to end up back together at some point. She’s not stupid. She’s not a child. She can see what’s going on just as well as I can.”

“So what,” Yang said, dripping sarcasm, “you want Blake and I to sloppily make out during the funeral tomorrow?”

“What, no, absolutely not!” Weiss shouted, flustered. “I mean, find the right time and place for it, but we all need to move on. You can’t just keep Ruby in limbo like this, where she knows it’s happening but still holds out hope that it isn’t. I spent years playing that game with our relationship. It never helps. She can’t really get over it until she stops holding out hope that it isn’t over.”

“What if it’s not?” Yang asked with a shrug.

“Yang, we both know you’re not  _ that _ dense.” Weiss rolled her eyes.

“Alright, fine.” Yang said. “We’ll talk to her sometime after the funeral. But I’m not changing anything until I know how she’s going to react to it.”

“I think she’ll surprise you, Yang.” Weiss sighed. “You’re always too harsh on yourself. She still cares a lot about you, you know.”

“I’ll let her be the judge of that.” Yang responded.

“I guess that’s all I can ask.” Weiss said as she shot into the air along a line of glyphs.

Yang watched until she disappeared down the road.

“So that’s the new Winter Maiden, huh?” Asked a familiar voice from a tree behind Yang.

“Hello, ‘mom’.” Yang said as she turned to find Raven casually sitting on a tree branch above her. She wasn’t wearing her mask this time.

“So you sold me out, huh, Yang?” Raven chided. “My own flesh and blood. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“I don’t owe you anything.” Yang shot back. “It’s not like you were ever around.”

“You and I both know that’s not entirely true.” Raven shrugged.

“Watching me from the shadows like a creepy stalker isn’t being there for me.”

“Don’t ever thank me for saving you. Twice.” Raven said as she dropped out of the tree. “Even after I told you you wouldn’t get another.”

“It’s not like I asked for you help.” Yang said as she stepped up to look down at the woman who birthed her. “And it’s not like you asked me to hide anything, either.”

“I figured in that broken state you were in, you’d get the memo.”

“Is that why you were trying to break me down even more?” Yang asked, narrowing her glare.

“Only the strong survive, Yang.” Raven said with a grin. “You picked yourself back up. You’re fine.”

“No, I’m really not.” Yang said. “Not every wound I got that day has healed.”

“Mine either.” Raven shrugged. “But we fight on nonetheless. So it seems Ozpin’s decided to finally pull you into his inner circle, to join your sister. How does it feel to be his lower priority?”

Raven was being awfully bold for someone within punching distance, pushing a lot of Yang’s buttons today.

“I don’t really care.” Yang shrugged, feigning apathy. “It’s not like I’ve actually really joined the Ozluminati, anyway.”

“Ozluminati? I like that. I’m going to have to steal that.” Raven chuckled. “But if you don’t really care, why do I have a dusty old Qrow trying to chase me down and pull me back into the thick of things?”

“I’m not going to hold back information that would help my sister.” Yang said.

“Ozpin’s advantage was in not knowing anything about it.” Raven sighed. “She was much safer as long as no one thought I was a threat. Now I’m just one more Lionheart away from the top of Salem’s priority list. I gave up  _ everything _ to eliminate that possibility. Honestly, Yang… couldn’t you have just let me live out my solitude in peace?”

“What would you even have to give up?” Yang said, raising her voice. “You just run away from or abandon everything in your life, anyway!”

“Yang, that’s not true.” Raven said as she looked down. “I lost my whole tribe to Salem. I lost Summer to Salem. I lost my  _ lover _ to Salem.”

“Dad’s still alive.” Yang said, crossing her arms. “You could just open a portal straight to Patch if you wanted.”

“I never loved your father.” Raven shrugged.

Yang… shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was.

“S-Still!” She managed. “You could join up with the rest of us. We’d all be safer for it.”

“No,” Raven said, shaking her head. “You wouldn’t. Ozpin isn’t telling you everything. We couldn’t beat Salem with three Maidens and a horde of huntsmen. She can’t be beaten. She can’t be killed. Our best bet is to wait her out.”

“Yeah. Oz already told me.” Yang said. “I thought you turned into a raven, not a chicken.”

The look on Raven’s face was one of pure shock.

“When did he start telling people that?” Raven asked incredulously. “I had to find that one out myself. I almost  _ died _ finding that out!”

“I dunno.” Yang said. “I’ve only known any of this for about a week. But really, how’s that any different from the Grimm? There doesn’t seem a way to kill all of them, either.”

“The Grimm don’t take it personally and hunt you down for standing against them.” Raven said. “You can retire from fighting the Grimm, but once you take up arms against Salem? Your life will end in only one way: death at her hands, or the hands of her minions. All we can do is delay that. Unless you’re Ozpin, and can just consume the soul of another young boy to continue your ambitions.”

“You really don’t like him, do you?” Yang asked.

“He’s no less a monster than Salem is.” Raven shot back.

“Guess I’ve decided, then.” Yang shrugged. “I’m going to join his little group. If only to spite you. As terrible a judge of character as you seem to be, anyone you call a monster can’t be  _ that _ bad.”

Yang had already sorta decided to join before Raven got involved, but she felt little more than contempt for the woman who birthed her, and wanted to make it hurt.

“Yang, wait!” Raven pleaded, gripping Yang’s upper arm. “You don’t have to get involved with this! You can stay safe!”

“My sister’s already involved with it. So’s my niece, my ex-girlfriend, and the woman I love.” Yang said, pushing Raven back. “I’ll stand with them. Die with them, if I have to, but I’m not going to pull a  _ you _ , and run off into the world alone. I already tried that once. I’m done now. Maybe  _ you _ should try standing your ground for once.”

Yang shoved past Raven, and continued her walk. She heard a portal open behind her, and a flutter of wings before it closed.

Who else wanted to push Yang’s buttons today?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up Thursday afternoon, as promised!
> 
> This chapter almost got pushed to the afternoon... kinda came down to the wire with editing it. Blame Fire Emblem. Interestingly enough, post edits, this chapter clocked in at exactly 2500 words.
> 
> And... I need to get going, so you're not gonna get any real commentary in today's note.


	23. Chapter 23

Ruby Rose decided to crawl into bed, even if it was a bit early. Weiss had decided to run off to talk to Yang. She’d asked Ruby, and the driver -- his name was Vermillion; Ruby did actually bother to learn such things -- not to wait up.

So Ruby had returned to that big, empty penthouse alone. Moving into the bedroom she was occupying brought her into a space that was merely “huge” instead of gargantuan, and there really wasn’t much to do in there except, well, sleep. She supposed she could try to distract herself with her scroll for a few hours, but Ruby really wasn’t feeling it. She’d been putting on a brave face for Violet, but every action beyond unmovingly laying down in a dark, quiet room took  _ some _ energy. Being around Blake and Yang drained it faster. Doing anything entirely alone drained it the fastest.

But it wasn’t like physical energy. If she drained herself in a fight, or during training, sleep would come easy, but here… the more drained she was mentally, the harder it was to find sleep. It was entirely unfair, considering that being so drained made it all she really wanted to do.

It probably wouldn’t happen until Weiss got back. Knowing that she wasn’t alone in the suite would go a long way towards giving her the peace of mind to make it happen.

Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait long.

“Ruby?” Weiss whispered as she cracked open the door. “Are you in here?”

“Yeah.” Ruby replied softly.

It wasn’t the same as it had been with Blake, but Weiss clearly did care about her. It was nice to be around someone who did, without having to be separated by a wall of guilt and jealousy.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you…” Weiss said. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Weiss, wait!” Ruby managed, halting Weiss midway through closing the door. “How did your talk with Yang go?”

Ruby was not ready to be alone again. Not quite yet.

Weiss sighed, and slipped into the room, closing the door behind herself. She pulled the chair she’d left in the room up to Ruby’s bedside and sat down.

“It went… okay, I guess.” Weiss struggled to find the right words. “About as well as could be expected, at least. She… almost punched me. Like I said she might.”

Ruby winced.

“That bad, huh? I guess I shouldn’t have pushed you into it.” Ruby shook her head. “Guess I don’t know her like I used to.” 

“You never made it your life’s work to push her buttons.” Weiss sighed, resting her forehead in her palm. “Still, it needed to happen. I’m glad you did push me. It’s… easier without that weight.”

“I just hope it’s easier for her, too.” Ruby said. “I thought she’d handle it okay… at least, while sober…”

“She did stop herself mid-punch.” Weiss said. “As the target of those punches, I feel it’s safe to say she did handle it better, at least.”

“Huh.” Ruby said, rolling over to her side. “I thought you meant that you dodged it.”

“I wouldn't have tried.” Weiss said, shaking her head. “I deserved it, honestly.”

“Weiss, you shouldn’t... “ Ruby began. “You have to stop punishing yourself.”

“So do you.” Weiss replied. “And does Yang, and Blake.” 

“That’s… a fair point.” Ruby sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Hopefully, after the funeral tomorrow morning, we can all, y’know, start over.”

“That’s part of why I scheduled it so soon.” Weiss looked down and to her right. “A whole lot has changed very suddenly… for all of us. But…” she returned her gaze to meet Ruby’s. “As someone once told me, all we can do is keep moving forward.”

Ruby uneasily chuckled as Weiss turned her words against her.

“It was… easier, the last few times.” She said.

“But it’s never been easy.” Weiss offered, with a hint of a warm smile trying to poke its way through.

Ruby nodded in response.

There was a few-seconds long eternity of silence.

“Well,” Weiss began, “if that’s all you needed…” she stood up, “I’ll let you get some rest.”

It wasn’t all Ruby needed.

It definitely wasn’t all Ruby wanted.

Ruby wanted to not be alone.

Not right now.

“Weiss, wait!” Ruby commanded, grabbing Weiss’s wrist with her right hand.

Weiss stopped, turned back towards Ruby, and let out a quiet “hrm?”

Ruby sat up, propping herself on her left, metal arm, while gazing into Weiss’s soft, blue eyes.

“Ruby…?” Weiss asked, letting the question linger.

Ruby released Weiss’s wrist. She could see Weiss’s breath catching as Ruby slowly brought her hand up towards Weiss’s face. Her thumb traced its way up Weiss’s cheek, sliding over her lips to the hint of a scar left from where her lip had been split open. Weiss closed her eyes and blushed as Ruby continued to trace over the scar across her eye, then calmly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and those beautiful cheeks got even rosier as Weiss shuddered in anticipation.

Ruby’s hand found the back of Weiss’s neck as she pushed herself a little higher on the bed, and it took only gentle pressure to bring Weiss down to meet her.

And Ruby kissed Weiss.

They shared a long, slow, and soft kiss.

It was nice, and comforting in a way that Ruby hadn’t felt since… before. But it wasn’t the same as kissing Blake. It did not ignite the same sort of fire within her.

Because Ruby wasn’t in love with Weiss.

Sure, she found Weiss to be incredibly attractive, in addition to being a close friend, and confidante, but, as wonderful as it felt to kiss Weiss, it wasn’t quite the same as being  _ in love _ . 

For now, it would have to do.

Eventually, Weiss pulled back, slightly gasping as she took her first breath in far too long.

“I thought… I thought you didn’t want me to flirt with you?” Weiss asked as her eyes fluttered open.

“I guess…” Ruby began, “I guess I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t listen.” Ruby felt herself start to smile, just a little bit. “I guess… it’s nice to feel loved. Even if…”

“Even if you don’t love me.” Weiss finished for her, looking down with a frown.

“I-I’m sorry, Weiss.” Ruby said, shaking her head as she allowed herself to slide back down towards the bed. “This isn’t fair of me. I shouldn’t be using you like--”

Weiss cut her off with a finger to the lips.

“You say that like I wouldn’t get anything out of it.” She sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed, and leaning over Ruby. “I’ve been trying not to take advantage of you… and your situation. Like I did with Yang. But if you  _ want _ it, well, I never let the guilt stop me before.”

She moved her finger out of the way to sneak in a quick kiss, sliding her hand along Ruby’s cheek.

“Just promise me you’ll tell me if you want me to stop.”

Ruby nodded the affirmative, and pulled Weiss down on top of her.

 

Hours later, Ruby found herself staring at the moon, out of the floor-to-ceiling windows in her penthouse room. 

She couldn’t help but think about how broken the moon was.

Broken. Just like her marriage.

And now, she was just as culpable as Blake.

Ruby tried to keep her sobbing quiet, not wishing to disturb the other occupant of the bed.

She wasn’t successful.

“Ruby, what’s wrong?” Weiss asked, voice full of concern. She wrapped her arms around Ruby, holding her tightly.

The warm, bare skin against her back was immensely comforting. Ruby had almost forgotten how much being held like this helped calm the torrents of her sadness.

But it was not enough to still them.

“I still love her, Weiss.” Ruby sobbed, wrapping her arm around Weiss’s and pulling it close so that she wouldn’t mistake the words for a request for distance.

Her other arm had been detached before they fell asleep, and was lying on the nightstand.

 “I know.” Weiss said softly, bringing her free hand up to calmly stroke Ruby’s hair. “It’s okay, Ruby.”

“I love her.” Ruby sobbed again. “I love her and… I know she hurt me first, but… I love her, and I’m doing… this.”

In contrast to what she said, Ruby only gripped Weiss’s arm tighter.

“It’s okay, Ruby.” Weiss said, using slow, regular strokes to help calm Ruby. “You have needs, too. And I think… I don’t think Blake will be hurt by this.”

“And that just hurts me even more!” The moon blurred against the water in Ruby’s eyes, before she shut them. “I hate that I… I hate that she doesn’t… doesn’t love me.”

“You learn to manage…” Weiss offered softly, and Ruby knew she was talking from experience.

Ruby also realized that, if Blake were to come in here and ask her to, she’d do for Blake exactly what Weiss was doing for her.

It wasn’t a comforting thought.

“I don’t want to manage.” Ruby choked out. “I just want to… I just want it to stop! It hurts so much! I just… I wish it would go back to how it was before. I wish I could just forget everything that’s happened. I almost want to ask her to. Ask her to just go back to pretending.”

“I don’t think that would work.” Weiss said. “You were the one who said we should be honest with each other. I think you’d end up just hurting each other more that way.”

“What about you?” Ruby said, trying to turn her head to face Weiss. She was halted by her death-grip on Weiss’s arm she refused to release, and was left facing the ceiling. “Are you okay with pretending?”

“No.” Weiss sighed. “I’m not going to be lying to myself about what this is. If I never lie to myself, and expect you to form feelings for me, then I can’t get hurt when you don’t.”

Somehow, Ruby very much doubted Weiss was being truthful on the matter. But, maybe it’d at least dull the blow. And Ruby knew that she would be just as willing to deal with the same, for a few more moments of going back to the way things were with Blake.

It was entirely unfair that the terrible sort of hurt she felt came only because she’d dared to fall in love.

“I’m sorry, Weiss.” Ruby sobbed as she turned back to bury her face in the pillow.

“Stop apologizing.” Weiss said. It was a request, not a command. Soft, sincere, and rare coming from her. “Believe it or not, I’m glad tonight happened, and I’ll be glad it did even after this… whatever this is, stops.”

Ruby thought back to her own marriage, and, even now that the cracks that had been there from the beginning were now visible, she could understand where Weiss was coming from. As much as it hurt, and as much as she wished everything could go back, she couldn’t bring herself to wish that it never happened.

Broken like the moon or not, those years had been some of the best of her life.

She wouldn’t have traded them for anything.

She could only mourn that they were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will, of course, be up Monday morning. It's nice to just have these things done and ready to go. :)
> 
> Show of hands, who thought Ruby staying with Weiss might lead to regrettable decisions made while emotionally compromised? Congratulations, you were right! Well, the story's now earned it's White Rose tag, at least, just with a fair few caveats.
> 
> An interesting trend I've noticed in criticisms leveled at this story has been an uptick in the amount of people saying something to the effect of "really, that's all it took them to get over it?" Well, I should hope that, by now, people are starting to figure out that the characters really *aren't* over it. Nor, incidentally, will they be anytime soon. It ain't over until it's *over*. There are gaps between knowing something, actually doing that something, and feeling something. Barriers still yet uncrossed. Wounds yet to heal. And they may wish everything were better, but the road to recovery is not a straight line.
> 
> And a happy ending does not mean the pain is forgotten.
> 
> On a more uplifting note, this chapter does contain some of my favorite lines so far. I supposed we'll see if any of you feel the same.


	24. Chapter 24

+-+-+-+  
Yang Xiao Long woke up in a hospital bed.  
She was alone.  
The dull beeping of a heart monitor pounded against her head as she tried to figure out what happened. She felt like she lost something. Something… very important. She wasn’t quite sure what. The last thing she could remember was… Blake. Blake, in pain. Blake, screaming. Blake, getting stabbed in the gut. Blake, about to die.  
Blake, with a strange, masked man standing over her.  
Her launching herself at the man in an attempt to save her partner. Her best friend. Her Crush.  
Everything fading to black.  
She must have survived that, but… had Blake? The way the battle had gone, had Ruby, or Weiss?  
Yang needed to know. She wasn’t going to find out in this bed, either.  
She’d start by ripping out the IV in her left arm. She reached over to give it a hard tug and… nothing. Nothing happened.  
She tried to flex the fingers on her right hand. She could feel them moving, but she couldn’t feel anything other than dull ache.  
She also couldn’t see the fingers, even though her mind was screaming at her that they were in front of her face.  
She looked down to the part of her arm where the throbbing was the worst. Her arm simply ended, just before the elbow. It was heavily bandaged.  
Yang groaned, hoping this was a dream. Her dreams didn’t usually hurt this much, though. She hoped she’d wake up to find her arm right back where it belonged. She also hoped she’d find Blake there to comfort her.  
Blake.  
The arm wasn’t the important thing right now. She’d have given up both of them if that’s what it took to save Blake’s life. But Blake wasn’t here right now.  
Yang needed to find out what happened.   
She ripped out her IV with her teeth, and ignored the bleeding this caused. She would have activated her aura to heal it, but she couldn’t maintain the focus required.  
She had to find Blake.  
With a great deal of effort, she pushed herself over the raised rails on the side of her hospital bed. She hit the tiled floor hard. Too hard. Nausea came over her all at once, and the world spun. She wanted to just collapse on the floor.  
Blake.  
That one thought was enough to push herself to stand, shoving back the nausea and holding it in for now. She threw back the curtain surrounding her bed. There were more curtains in the room. Any one of them could be hiding Blake. Or Ruby. Or Weiss. She stepped towards the first of them, only to have something tug back against her chest. Reaching under the hospital gown, she grabbed the cables connecting to the heart monitor, and tore them off her chest with some force. It probably should have hurt more than it did, but she was numb to the pain.  
The loud, sustained beep from the heart monitor did not do good things to her head, however. She swatted at it, managing to hit a button that silenced the beep.  
Which of these curtains was Blake behind?  
She pulled back the curtains one by one, stumbling between them. She didn’t recognize any of the people in this room. As she reached the final curtain, she found that it had already been pulled back. The bed was missing, but there were a few things stacked in the corner. Uncle Qrow’s cape. The charred remains of what looked to be Ruby’s cloak. A pile of other burnt clothes. Crescent Rose. Myrtenaster.  
Ruby and Weiss had been here! Hopefully, the bed had been wheeled away to somewhere nice, and not… not to the morgue.  
Blake could be in the morgue.  
Yang banished that thought as she pushed towards the door. She needed to find someone. Someone to explain. Someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay. She could feel her face getting wet as she shuffled. Every dull ache was intensifying into a sharp pain. Every step threatened to spill the contents of her stomach out of her mouth as they sloshed within her. She needed to find someone! Uncle Qrow! Weiss! Ruby!  
Blake.  
The door swung open, and she found herself in a hallway that was much darker than the room. Her eyes had a little bit of trouble adjusting. Going left seemed like it would send her deeper into the hospital. Going right, she would find…  
At the right end of the long hallway, she saw an emergency exit, partially opened and silhouetted in moonlight. A figure was standing in it, unmoving, holding the door open. The figure had long, dark hair, atop of which was a bow.  
Blake.  
She was alive!  
Yang thanked every god and goddess of Remnant she could think of.  
A memory flashed. A brief vision returning to her of Blake holding her hand as she was being loaded onto an airship. Blake was crying, and looked like she felt guilty. Yang had just wanted to reach out, hug her, comfort her. Tell her it was going to be alright. Had she? She couldn’t remember.  
“Blake!” Yang shouted out as forcefully as she could. It came out so much weaker than she’d intended it to.   
Unfortunately, it also wasn’t the only thing to come out.  
There was hardly anything in her stomach. A small amount of water and bile splashed onto the floor, and she dry heaved as her body asked for further release. It was too much, the pain was building. She collapsed onto the floor, using what little agency she still had to roll away from the vomit before she landed.  
To roll towards Blake.  
“Yang!” She thought she heard Blake’s voice, but she couldn’t tell if it was a memory.  
After a few seconds, a pair of warm, amber eyes were above her. Blake. Really, truly, Blake. She was alive. She was here! Yang threw her arms around her to try to pull her down into a hug. Only one found purchase.  
Right. That was still gone.  
But it didn’t matter! Blake was alive! Yang loved that Blake was still alive! She could go through anything with Blake by her side.  
But it would help if it didn’t feel like her arm was being carved away bit by bit with a rusty spoon covered in acid, and then shoved into her head.  
A pair of strong arms lifted her from the ground. As they tried to pull her away from Blake, Yang grabbed at her partner’s wrist, insistently tugging her along. Blake looked conflicted. Blake looked like she felt she’d done something wrong. Blake looked like it wasn’t easy for her to look at Yang right now.  
But dammit, Yang needed Blake right now. She wasn’t about to let go.  
The arms scolded her as they placed her back into her hospital bed. They said she needed her painkillers. They wiped her face and tried to get her to release Blake’s hand so they could put in a new IV. The arms eventually gave up on that, and just inserted the IV into her hand anyway. The arms reconnected the heart rate monitor, and then the arms left.  
But Blake was here.  
“Yang, you’re injured.” Blake said to her, shifting uncomfortably as she unsuccessfully wiped at her tears with her free hand. “You shouldn’t have tried to leave the bed.”  
Yang’s mind cleared a bit as the pain started to dull once more. Her mind went back to Blake’s silhouette in that emergency exit. Of conversations they’d had of Blake’s past. Of her semblance.  
“You shouldn’t try to leave either.” Yang said, squeezing tightly.  
Blake winced back, then began to stare at the floor.  
“You got hurt because of me.” Blake whispered.  
“I got hurt because I wasn’t good enough.” Yang shot back. “But I’d do it again, and again, and again, if it meant saving my teammates. If it meant saving you.”  
Blake winced again as her free hand found its way to her bandaged side.  
“It’s more than that.” She said, keeping her voice at that low whisper. “He was only there for me. If I wasn’t there… he couldn’t have hurt you.”  
“But you’d be dead.” Yang said, deadpan.  
“It’s no worse than I deserve.” Blake said, shuddering as she began to sob. “After everything I’ve done. After the way I let him hurt you.”  
“You didn’t let him, that was out of your control.” Yang said. “And I don’t care about my arm. The important thing is, you’re safe.”  
“What if he’d done worse to you?” Blake sobbed, starting to raise her voice.  
“It’d be fine as long as he didn’t do worse to you!” Yang shot back, raising to match.  
“Yang, I can’t lose you!” Blake’s voice continued to escalate.  
“I can’t lose you either! So don’t leave me!” Yang continued to match.  
“If I don’t leave, he’ll do worse!”  
“Better he does worse to me than you!”  
“Yang, I can’t watch you die!”  
“I can’t watch you run off to die!”  
“Yang, you’re too important! You have to stay alive!”  
“You’re important, too! I need you alive! We all do!”  
“Yang, I can’t lose you so soon after falling in love with you!”  
What?  
Did… did Blake just say what Yang thought she said? The words hit her right in the chest, the monitor beeping rapidly as her heart skipped a beat. Blake had… fallen in love with her? Yang couldn’t find the words to respond.  
The room was silent once again, save for the beeping of heart monitors.  
Blake looked absolutely mortified. It was an admission that had only come out in the heat of the moment. Had their exchange not been so heated, she may never have heard those words.  
“I-I…” Blake stammered, pulling her hand out of Yang’s.  
Yang’s grip was just too weak right now. It felt as though all the force in the world couldn’t have held Blake’s hand in that moment.  
Blake began to move rapidly towards the door.  
“Blake, wait!”  
Blake took off in a sprint.  
“I love you!” Yang called out, but Blake was already out of the room, and probably a good ways down the hall. On top of that, Yang’s voice was weak. She couldn’t be as loud as she wanted.  
So she was left alone, again, after her admission. Blake probably didn’t hear it. Blake was gone.  
Yang had been abandoned. Again.  
The feeling tore through her. It ripped her heart to shreds. It tore at her mind. It destroyed her, and left her a broken husk as the sobs forced their way out of her mouth. She tried to cover her face with her hands, and was immediately reminded that she’d lost one. Her arms were abandoning her, too. Soon, there’d be nothing left. Yang Xiao Long would be nothing more than an empty pit of despair.  
After a few moments of heavy sobs, she felt a soft hand on her knee.  
“Yang, what... did you say?”  
Yang moved her hand away, and her vision was filled with wide, amber orbs, puffy and red as tears streamed down Blake’s cheeks.  
“Blake.” Yang choked out. “I love you.”  
And it was absolutely true. She told herself it was a crush while it was still an impossibility. She lied to herself while she was sure it would never happen. When she was sure her feelings were unwarranted, unwanted, she tried to shove them back in order to maintain a semblance of an ordinary friendship, but they were still there. How much she wanted to be around Blake. How she longed to touch her. To hold her. To kiss her. To be there for her, through thick and thin. How she wanted to spend every waking moment worshipping her. How happy she’d been when Blake danced with her. How crushed she had been when Blake hadn’t immediately believed her innocent. How willing she’d been to throw her own life away to save Blake’s. How she couldn’t bring herself to care about losing her arm, nearly as much as she should. How she’d been willing to put Blake above her own self interest. How she’d been willing to put Blake above Ruby.  
Now that she’d heard it from Blake, now that the words had left her lips, the truth of the words were glaringly obvious. She wasn’t sure how she’d ever managed to deny them.  
“W-What?” Blake stammered in response.  
Yang reached up, sliding her hand along the side of Blake’s face. She used her thumb to wipe away what tears she could.  
“I love you.” Yang repeated.  
Blake shuddered into Yang’s hand. Her amber eyes dilated visibly. Her lips curled into a pained smile. Blake leaned forward, and their lips touched.  
They shared a kiss.  
“I love you, too.” Blake sighed, crawling into the hospital bed beside Yang.  
+-+-+-+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep that update train a rollin'! Six more chapters for this Monday / Thursday update schedule, before I go back to having to take some time off to finish the rest. ^^;
> 
> Today might be a flashback, but next chapter we'll start really getting into the ghosts of the past, and that'll last through the end of the grouping. :)
> 
> I kinda like this chapter, and I'm sure in a less complicated story that were just bees focused, it might be somewhat better received. If experience has told me anything, though, it's that if I like a chapter, there'll be a number of people taking offense to it. Here, I suspect it'll be due to the bees focus: the people expecting me to unceremoniously kill off Blake and Yang are probably going to be a tad grumpy about the focus they're given.
> 
> But hey, it's a part of the story, so calm yourself if that's your reaction. I'd tell you to trust me, but it's pretty clear a number of people just don't, so... uh... yeah. I'mma keep putting out the story I wrote, though, regardless of how people react. I ain't no sell out. :T


	25. Chapter 25

Ruby Rose looked like she’d seen a ghost.

Probably because she was looking at one.

The spectre had just landed on the edge of the remote cliff they were having their service around. A small group of chairs were gathered in a semicircle around Ruby. Weiss, Jaune, Pyrrha, Glynda, Team CFVY, Violet, Blake, Yang, and others were seated, dressed in black and wearing expressions just as shocked as she was.

Because behind Ruby was a casket. An empty casket, but its meaning was no less evident. And on top of that casket, there was a portrait. A portrait that, save for having a bit more color, looked  _ exactly _ like this ghost.

The Ghost of Winter Schnee had just leapt up a cliff to crash her own funeral.

Ruby had to be dreaming, right?

The ghostly form  _ looked _ like one of Weiss’s summons, but for Weiss to be able to summon Winter, she, or one of her summons, would have had to have  _ personally _ dealt the killing blow. Weiss could maintain her summons at a distance of over a kilometer, but Atlas was much too far away for that to even be remotely plausible, never mind that there was no possible motive for Weiss to do so.

But there weren’t really other people around with that Semblance. Willow -- Weiss and Winter’s mother -- had died of liver failure about two years back, and Whitley had a different Semblance entirely. Something more business oriented, as Ruby recalled. Winter was obviously out, too. Even barring the absurdity of summoning oneself, the Maiden powers had transferred to Weiss, and the other Maidens were accounted for. It was solid proof of her death. More proof than Ruby had ever gotten for her own mother.

So, this couldn’t possibly be a Schnee Semblance summon. Having eliminated the possible options, Ruby settled on the only remaining explanation: ghosts were real.

Maybe only exceptionally powerful or strong-willed people could become ghosts? Winter certainly fit the bill in either case.

Then, as Weiss launched out of her chair towards the ghost, sending the chair flying in the other direction, Ruby realized the explanation she’d been missing. Illusions. Trickery. As many times as she’d clashed with Emerald, she should have realized it by now, even if  _ everyone _ had reacted. They were under attack! She boosted her Semblance to cut Weiss off. Fighting without Crescent Rose was going to be hard. Fighting in a suit would only make it more difficult. She was going to have to tear the sleeve of the thing that Weiss spent gods knows how much money on to bring her gun-port to bear.

She managed to cut Weiss off midway to the spectre, but momentum carried them much closer than she’d have liked. Ruby’s heels created divots in the grass as Weiss tried to force her way past.

“Ruby! What are you doing?” Weiss cried out, her voice breaking as tears streamed down her face. “Winter is here! She’s right here! I need to--”

“Weiss!” Ruby cut her off. “It’s a  _ trap! _ ”

Ruby shot a glare at the ghost, and was rewarded with a brief look somewhere between panic, shock, and confusion. Ha! She’d called it. She was going to foil whatever dastardly plan Salem’s forces had concocted. With Pyrrha here, it was almost certainly intended as a get-in, get-out, surgical strike, so if she could just keep them from luring Weiss to the illusion, which was almost certainly trapped, she could ruin their plans.

“How dare you!” The not-Winter shouted indignantly in a very convincing imitation of Winter’s voice. “Ruby, I’m not…” The voice began to waver, sounding hurt. “I just need to see my sister! Please!”

The illusion was pleading with her, trying to appeal to her inherent kindness. It was a trick that had been used on her too often before. She’d been hurt too many times; it wouldn’t work this time.

“That’s exactly what you’d say if you were a fake!” Ruby challenged, and Weiss paused. Granted, it sounded a whole lot like what the real Winter would have said, but Emerald could make some  _ very _ convincing illusions, and Ruby had the scars to prove it.

Weiss shot a look past Ruby, to the false version of her sister. It continued with a series of subtle looks, ones that would be unnoticeable to anyone who didn’t know Weiss well, and indecipherable even to most of those who did. She looked back to see the not-Winter doing much the same thing. An attempt at imitation? Well, it wouldn’t work on Weiss. Weiss was sharp. Pretty soon she’d realize this wasn’t her sister and--

“Ruby...” Weiss cut off her train of thought. “Let me pass.”

“Weiss…” Ruby hissed. “They have people who are  _ really _ good at this! It has to be a fake! There is no  _ possible _ way for Winter to be here, let alone alive!”

“And yet, she is.” Weiss insisted. “It’s really Winter. I know it.”

“How?” Ruby shot back. “How could you possibly know? Weiss, it’s  _ not possible _ .”

Weiss smiled, a bit too broadly, for the response.

“She’s my sister. I know her.”

“I’m going to need a better explanation than that.” Ruby said with a concerned glare.

Weiss laughed in response. A happy, mirthful laugh. She’d gone crazy!

“You and Yang do the same thing, you know.” She said with a bemused expression. “Now let me see my sister!”

“Weiss, no!” Ruby said, forcefully projecting her concern.

There was the tiniest flash of fire within Weiss’s eyes, and Ruby found herself tumbling in the grass off to the side. The black glyph used to launch her out of the way faded as Weiss, and the illusion of Winter, wrapped each other in a big hug, both laughing as if happiness were exploding out of them.

But they didn’t explode. A cage didn’t come shooting up out of the ground to capture her. Assassins didn’t pop up and attack. The cliffside didn’t fall away. Weiss didn’t fall through the ghostly version of her Sister. In fact, Winter picked Weiss up off of the ground!

Could this really be Winter? No, that was impossible. None of this made sense.

Jaune helped Ruby to her feet as the rest of the group approached the commotion.

“Winter, are you a ghost?” Yang blurted out, letting her jaw hang.

The laughter stopped as Winter adopted a much more serious expression.

“Not exactly.” She said. “But… sort of? I am… well, I’m a summon.”

“Bullsh--” Ruby cut herself off, as she remembered Violet was present. “Bull. The only living person in the world who could do that is  _ here _ . She  _ was _ here when you… you know. There was no one on your  _ continent _ who could have done it!”

There were murmurs among the group, and a very concerned expression from Weiss towards Winter.

“There was  _ one _ person.” Winter sighed. “I was there. The… the real me.”

“Winter…” Weiss said, her eyes widening as she considered what Winter was saying. “Are you saying that you…”

“Yes.” Winter confirmed with a nod, looking over the crowd and shooting pointed glances towards Yang, Blake, Violet, and the others who were  _ not _ aware of the Ozluminati. “I did not wish to do it, but… you should know that I had  _ very _ good reasons to take my own life during that battle.”

Ruby covered her mouth in a silent gasp. The implication was clear. Salem must have been on the verge of stealing Winter’s Maiden powers. After Amber, it had become standard procedure to ensure they didn’t fall into her hands. By any means necessary.

“How did you know that would work?” Pyrrha asked, with an expression that Ruby assumed was just as shocked as her own.

“I didn’t.” Winter shrugged. “I just thought it’d be worth an attempt. Give me one last chance to see my sister. I’m glad I found you.” She tousled Weiss’s hair. “I almost ran out of time. I’ll probably only last until nightfall.”

The mood dropped like a falling brick.

“Why didn’t you get here sooner!?” Weiss cried out, pleading with Winter. “Why didn’t you take an airship! We could have had a whole week!”

Winter held Weiss close and patted her sister’s head as she sobbed.

“Did… did Atlas not fall?” Winter asked, shooting a confused look to the crowd.

She was met with shaking heads, and sighed in response.

“I left… during the battle.” Winter said. “It was going very poorly. I thought for sure the city was entirely doomed. I just wanted to tell my Sister it would be okay.” Winter’s voice was breaking, and her expression pained, but no tears came from her ghostly form. She may not have been able to produce them. “So I left. I took off over the ocean, hoping for just a chance that I could see you again.”

Weiss nodded against her sister’s side.

“Wouldn’t there be Grimm along the way?” Blake asked.

“There were.” Winter said. “But they seemed willing to ignore me, and I them. It’s a good thing, too. Fighting would have drained what Aura I managed to shunt into this summon. I wouldn’t have made it. Instead, I just had to deal with it dropping at a constant rate. Fortunately, just having a summon and using some glyphs doesn’t drain much.”

“If it’s a matter of Aura…” Jaune said, stepping forward with a light in his eyes. “I may be able to help! They made me Beacon’s Medic for a reason!”

Jaune raised his hands towards Winter, and an extra level of white shimmer surrounded her. Winter’s eyes went wide as the shimmering stopped, and Jaune doubled over.

“I-I…” Winter Stammered. “I feel like I could last weeks! It… might be inconvenient to have to keep seeking you out for a top-up, but… I can live with this. Oh my gods. I can  _ live _ with this! Part of me can, anyway.”

Winter hugged Weiss close, and resumed that joyous laughter from earlier. It continued for a long while before the sisters released each other.

“Thank you, Jaune.” Weiss said, wiping away a tear and hugging him.

“Just doin’ my job.” Jaune replied with a blush that earned him a look from his wife.

“Speaking of jobs.” Winter began, flicking her wrist as a ghostly saber suddenly took form within her hand. “I am an older sister. And now that I am no longer about to die…” She shot a bone-chilling, deadly glare at Yang. “Someone else might need to.”

Ruby had to push her Semblance to the limit to knock the blade away from Yang before Winter’s strike could land. Yang almost certainly could have defended herself, or dodged, but instead she had closed her eyes, as if she had accepted fate and was waiting for the blow to end her.

“That’s enough!” Ruby shouted, meeting Winter’s glare with one of her own.

“Winter, stop!” Weiss’s voice went ignored in the background.

“Ruby, do you know what she did?” Winter shouted back. “I know she’s your sister, but after what she did to Weiss…”

Violet began crying loudly in the background. They really needed to stop having these fights around her. At least this time, Ruby was actually doing the right thing, and setting a good example for her daughter. Ruby shot a look over to her daughter out of instinct, but had to force herself to look away as she saw whose arms Violet was in. She’d been doing her best not to look at Blake today.

“I’m well aware!” Ruby shot back, trembling. There were a lot of issues here, forcing themselves into her mind. Every bad thing that happened in the last two weeks was trying to force its way into her head, and overwhelm her. She wanted to say more, she  _ needed _ to say more, but when she opened her mouth, she couldn’t focus on any one thing enough to actually say anything.

“Then get out of the way!” Winter shouted, raising a hand as if to backhand Ruby, and force her to comply.

“Winter!” Weiss shouted, grabbing her sister’s wrist. “Stop! I’m fine! And she’s been punished enough.”

Winter’s expression softened as she looked down at her sister, and the sword disappeared as she lowered her arms to the side. Weiss wrapped her in another hug.

Everything was coming back to Ruby. All at once. She felt dizzy. She found herself sitting on the grass as the rest of the world got fuzzy. Reality reasserted itself as something small and warm slammed into her chest, wrapping her in a tiny hug.

“Thank you, momma.” Violet said as she nuzzled in. “Thanks for bein’ the hero.”

Ruby wrapped her arms around her daughter.

She didn’t feel like much of a hero these days. There was too much pain and hate going around lately. Too many fights, and too many tears. But if it was making Violet happy, she was starting to step back in the right direction.

And that put a genuine smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be up Monday, barring my weekend being as eventful as my week has been, which is why this chapter's a few hours later than I wanted it to be. If I can't make it work, I'll probably just skip to next Thursday, but hopefully it won't come to that.
> 
> Now... those of you who read and remember the notes from the end of the previous chapter may find yourselves thinking: did I really potentially spoil the big twist of this chapter in that note just to make a bad pun? The answer? Yes. Yes I did. In my defense, I seriously doubt anyone would have guessed that this was where the story was going.
> 
> Y'know, it's funny, a reader named Keromensen actually had it right back in their post on Chapter 14: the suicide tag *was* for Winter. I mean, it was for Ruby also, but tags can apply to more than one event, so don't go thinking they're all safe yet. ;)
> 
> I know some authors feel like they need to change things if people guess them, but... honestly, you don't have to be the only person who thought of a thing. Try too hard to make it esoteric, and you end up with the ending of Lost. Also, you probably ended up wasting some good foreshadowing.
> 
> ...which... okay, yeah, this isn't really foreshadowed. For what it's worth, it was planned from the very beginning... well, at least as much as I plan things. The moment I knew Weiss would become the Winter Maiden in this story was also the moment I knew Winter would be showing up as a ghost, so... yeah. Strictly speaking, the idea of a Schnee summoning themselves is an even older idea of mine, but that story idea was edgy and macabre just for the sake of itself, so I didn't really feel driven to actually make something out of it.
> 
> Anyway, this whole thing has a point beyond just having Winter hanging around in the background. There's still plenty of story to go. Still, I suspect this will be some people's "crab in a top hat and a monocle" moment, and they'll take their Master Chief and go... which makes me a bit cautious to celebrate hitting 100 subscribers here on AO3. We'll see if that holds up after this chapter. ^^;


	26. Chapter 26

“So… Winter’s alive. And a ghost. That’s wild.”

Yang Xiao Long tried to break through the tension in the car. Blake was gripping the wheel so hard she wouldn’t be surprised to see permanent divots where her fingers had been.

Yang suspected it was because Violet wasn’t in the car.

It wasn’t planned. The expectation had been that Violet would return home after the funeral. Instead, the little girl had wanted to see Winter, and she’d wanted to spend time with Ruby. No one present had been even remotely willing to tell her no. Not that she or Blake really had the right to.

Still, Blake didn’t have a job. She’d gathered that Blake and Ruby hadn’t gone on any actual dates since Violet was born. Blake took Violet to the store with her. How many times had Blake actually been separate from Violet since her birth? Probably not many.

Last time it happened, Blake went a little bit crazy, but that was something of an emotionally charged night.

After an awkwardly long silence, Yang decided to switch tactics.

“Blake…” She said, trying to find the right words. “Violet’s going to be fine.”

“I  _ know! _ ” Blake’s response was immediate, and pained. “Of course I know. Ruby’s a wonderful mother. I just… gods, why am I like this!”

Blake’s eyes were watering as the car began to swerve. Yang grabbed the wheel to steady it, and helped guide the car to the side of the road. Blake finally let go of the wheel as she put the car into park, then covered her face.

Maybe Yang should have tried a more gentle phrasing?

Was there even a way to phrase that more gently?

“Blake, it’s okay.” She offered.

“No, Yang, it’s not!” Blake shot back. “All of this is my fault! I shouldn’t feel so angry, or scared! I don’t deserve to! I’m the worst person around! I hurt everyone I love!”

Yang reached over and placed her hand on Blake’s shoulder. It was a breach of the rules she herself had set out. She tried to mute the impact of it by using her metal hand, despite being required to reach awkwardly across her body to do so. Despite how much she wanted to feel Blake’s warmth beneath her. Despite how much she wanted to comfort her with real, skin-to-skin contact.

No, there were still barriers that needed to be cleared before she could go that far.

“Blake, it’s okay.” Yang said, giving the shoulder a slight rub. “You made a mistake. We’ll get past it.”

“I can’t even completely convince myself it  _ was _ a mistake.” Blake said, shaking her head under her hands. “Even after everything that happened because of it. Gods, Yang! Do you have any idea what you  _ do _ to me?” She lifted her head slightly, just enough to peer over her fingertips. “It’s like I’ve been dragging my feet through the mud at the bottom of a lake, and I’ve just barely kept my head above water long enough not to drown… then you come back and start to pull me out of it, only to drop me back in and tell me to  _ wait! _ ” Her eyes found their way back behind her fingers as a particularly large sob hit her. “And you’re going to make me wait even  _ more _ . Even though we both saw it. We both  _ know _ that smile. But I can read it all over you! You’re  _ still _ not satisfied!”

Yang felt her stomach drop. Self-punishment was an easy game for her to play, but hurting those she cared about had never been easy. It was why she had avoided Blake for so long, because it was easier to pretend like you weren’t hurting someone else when you couldn’t see it happen. It was getting harder to lie to herself about it, though. Blake wasn’t the only one she had hurt. Nor was she the only one she was hurting. Right now, she had to try to find a balance between the two people she loved most.

And encountering Winter, who had been ready to make good on a promise she’d made years ago… it had shaken her. It had reminded Yang of just how much of a failure as a significant other she was. Truth was, she wasn’t ready to have someone relying on her like that again. She wasn’t sure she would ever be.

“It’s not about me being satisfied.” Yang sighed, looking down. “It’s… you still haven’t talked to Ruby about this. At all. She’s putting on a brave face but we both know she’s still hurting.”

“I don’t know what to say to her.” Blake shuddered. “Gods, what am I supposed to say! ‘Hey, Ruby! You did absolutely nothing wrong but I was miserable anyway!’ That’d make her feel great about herself!”

“ _ Maybe _ not like that.” Yang sighed again. “But I think you still owe her the truth. You can’t keep hiding it forever.”

“I’ve managed just fine for over seven years.” Blake shot back.

Over  _ seven _ years. Not five, the time she’d been married to Ruby. Not six, how long it had been since Yang left. She’d said seven. That meant it most likely encompassed the entirety of her relationship with Ruby.

“If she made you miserable,” Yang began, “then why--”

“ _ She _ didn’t make me miserable.” Blake cut her off. “ _ You _ did. When you left me.”

Yang had already deduced this over the last week. That didn’t make hearing it any less of a gut punch. She brought her free hand to wipe at the tears that began to freely flow from her own face.

“I was just as inconsolable as you were after that.” Blake continued. “Weiss was trying her hardest with you, since you wouldn’t talk to Ruby, or me. That meant Ruby, even though she had to handle her own stuff, was the only one around to console  _ me _ . It was obvious how much it was destroying her. You were never around to see it, but, things were really taking their toll on her. Some nights, she looked just as hopeless as… as…”

Blake didn’t have to say it, Yang remembered the dead look in her sister’s eyes from a week ago. She didn’t want there to be another time. She’d hoped there never would be. She didn’t expect to have to worry about there already having been one.

Blake finally recovered enough from the sobs consuming her to continue.

“A-Anyway, she got the arm, and… it felt just like yours. One morning, I felt it when she woke me up, and… I pretended it was you. Just long enough to… to kiss her. When I opened my eyes and saw it was her, I… I felt awful but… you didn’t see how  _ happy _ it made her, Yang! I couldn’t crush her hopes after I’d seen her… so down. I couldn’t destroy her like that. So I didn’t tell her it was a mistake. I didn’t tell her that I didn’t actually… want her like that.”

Blake pushed her hands up to her forehead as she leaned back into the seat.

“She told Weiss. Weiss told you. The two of you started dating, and… I just… I felt so  _ worthless _ . I thought Ruby was the only one who wanted me, even if I didn’t want her. I just… I couldn’t say ‘no’ to her. Not while it felt like you were unobtainable. Not while I felt so… ugh.”

Blake’s hand slid back down over her mouth as she let out a frustrated groan.

“So I pretended for her sake. And she did everything right! Except… none of it mattered. She wasn’t you. I kept telling myself that, i-if I could just… eventually, I’d fall for her, right? I’d start loving her romantically and… and not just like a sister or something? So I tried. Even though I gave up on all my other hopes and dreams, I  _ tried _ to fall in love with her. I didn’t let her see how it was hurting me. I  _ couldn’t _ .”

Blake shuddered as she said the last word, and there was a pause as she collected herself before continuing.

“The night after you and Weiss left, I let her think I was off seeing some old Faunus friends, instead of… of drunkenly crying over you in the alley behind our apartment. I agreed to marry her because I felt like I was supposed to. Because she did all the right things for it. And maybe also because I thought you would at least show up for your  _ own sister’s wedding _ , but I lied to myself for years. Told myself it was because I thought it’d finally make me fall in love with her. I tried to pretend that I didn’t spend the whole ceremony just hoping you’d burst through those doors. I just… I let the lies become my new normal, you know.”

Blake took a deep breath before resuming.

“I… I promised not to run away,” she continued, “but even if I didn’t leave  _ physically _ , I did run. It was just a different kind of running. Shutting myself off from the world. Doing only what was expected of me. I told myself I was doing it for Ruby, and Violet. Just like, when I almost ran away after the Battle of Beacon, I told myself I was doing it for  _ you _ . I just… ended up hurting all of you, instead. I  _ should _ have run physically. Ran after you, a-and fought for you! I should have done something for myself! But I waited too long and now that I finally  _ have _ done something for myself everyone’s hurt and it’s all my fault and I just don’t know what to do!”

Yang was stunned into silence.

The truth was, she didn’t know what to do, either.

The silence was drawn out to a painful extent, broken only by Blake’s overt sobbing and Yang’s more subdued sniffles.

“You should have moved on from me.” Yang eventually sighed.

“You think I didn’t  _ try? _ ” Blake sobbed back. “Well, I f-failed. I’m still as in love with you as ever.”

“But I’m not worth it.”

“You don’t get to d-decide that, Yang.”

“But I hurt you, Blake.” Yang shuddered as she pressed her left arm into her face. “Even knowing that’d you’d been hurt before! You deserve better… someone who… who won’t hurt you.”

“I’ve been hurt.” Blake exhaled forcefully. “But I’ve h-hurt people too. So maybe we… maybe we d-deserve each other.”

“You shouldn’t want someone who’s hurt you like… like I did.”

“Maybe not,” Blake choked out a hollow laugh. “But I’ve been living a life based on ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’ and it hasn’t worked out. Maybe I can at least  _ try _ to go after something I just… want, even’t if I shouldn’t. Please… Yang… I need… s-something.”

Yang made the mistake of shooting a glance over to Blake. The pleading in her eyes nearly broke her, but Yang held strong to her convictions. She held onto the fact that, of all of them,  _ Ruby _ was the one who deserved happiness the most. 

As much as she wanted to help Blake… it wouldn’t be right if it was something she benefited from, herself. If Blake and Ruby had just been happy together… then she would have been the only one who had to suffer.

But they weren’t. They hadn’t been. The sort of relationship she’d had with Weiss wasn’t healthy, and if the two people she cared for most kept avoiding the actual issue, they were headed down the same road.

Yang set her jaw.

“You need to talk to Ruby.”

And then… once they talked… once they got it all worked out… maybe then, Yang could allow herself some selfishness… if it helped Blake.

“I still don’t k-know what to say.” Blake’s disappointment in this answer was palpable. 

Yang considered her own experiences with Weiss.

“You have to tell her the truth.” Yang sighed. “Even though it hurts… heck, maybe  _ because _ it hurts, you… you have to say it. Because it still hurts just as much as if you lie, and it continues for a lot longer. As long as you keep lying… it… never goes away.”

“Can’t you just… hold me?” Blake asked. “J-Just for a bit. Just enough that I can… work up the courage to… to do it.”

“You know why I can’t.” Yang said, her voice breaking as she waged war with her every instinct. 

“Then c-can you… at least drive? I don’t… don’t think I can… focus on it, at the m-moment.”

Yang bit her lip.

“Y-Yeah. I can at least do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey! I got it done!.. Kinda last minute. Like, right before bed last night. Either way, the schedule continues unabated! On Thursday, you’ll get the longest chapter in the story so far!.. At least for a week. There’s an even bigger one coming up. ;)
> 
> Things that have happened since last chapter have been… mostly good. For instance, the story has hit 300 kudos, which feels like a significant milestone! On top of that, I didn’t lose any subscribers here since the chapter was posted, so we’re safely above 100! And on FFN, I didn’t lose any followers either!
> 
> I wonder if that means the people who are around are the ones who are mostly going to stick to it? We’ll see… we got some Blake-heavy chapters here. You think you got a lot more of Blake than you’ve gotten before? Just wait until Thursday. ;)
> 
> On the one hand, this is the right point in the story to get into Blake’s… stuff. On the other hand, there’s been a part of me that’s regretted not having all this revealed earlier, to help contextualize Blake’s actions as they’ve happened. There’s not any point earlier that would have been “right” for it, though.
> 
> And, y’know, this chapter and the next were ultimately the hardest to write. You’ve got an entire character hanging mostly off of these two chapters, chapters which… well, they strike pretty close to home for me. Especially Thursday’s. Gods, I’m both terrified and excited for Thursday, because the next chapter personally feels like the best chapter I’ve written so far, but I’ve been notoriously bad at guessing audience reactions to these. 
> 
> I guess we’ll see. 
> 
> Also, finally got some cover art for FFN! Something simple I whipped together, mostly because the default Blank image of a dude was bothering me. Like… why’s it a dude? Fanfiction is treated as the realm of “teenage girls”. You’d think the default would reflect that audience.


	27. Chapter 27

Ruby Rose squared her shoulders, and took a deep breath. It had taken a lot to get her here. Days of dancing around the issue, trying to establish a new normal. It required pep talks from Weiss, Winter, and even Violet. Not that Violet necessarily understood; that one had been a very general “you can do anything, momma” sort of talk, but Ruby wasn’t sure she could be here without it. She was already on the verge of losing her nerve.

That’s why she was here in the morning, before she could think about it much. That’s why she’d had Vermi drive away as soon as she got out of the car. That’s why she was standing in front of this door.

And that’s why she knocked before she had too much of a chance to dwell on it.

But she still had  _ one _ more chance to back out.

Ruby’s nerves took another hit when Yang, not Blake, answered the door.

“Mornin’, Rubes.” Yang yawned, moving to allow Ruby in. “You’re here early. I don’t think Vi’s… wait, you have Violet. Right.”

“Morning, Yang.” Ruby replied, surveying the apartment as she entered. A blanket trailed from where it was wrapped around Yang’s foot towards the couch… apparently, Yang was still sleeping there. Ruby let out a slight exhale of relief.

“I figured… it was time I had a talk with Blake.” Ruby held onto her breath once she finished. Her window to run away, and try another day, was quickly closing.

Yang looked Ruby over, and Ruby let her shoulders slump.

“You’re okay, right?” Yang asked. “You’re not gonna… alright. I’ll… I’m going to go for a run. Give you two some time to talk.”

“I’d appreciate that, Yang.” Ruby nodded as she made her way through the apartment.

“I don’t think Blake was up before you got here.” Yang said as she untangled herself from the Blanket. They both knew the knocking, and conversation, would have woken Blake up.

“She’s usually up by now…” Ruby said, advancing leaden-foot after leaden-foot.

“I don’t think she slept well last night.” Yang sighed. “I had a talk with her yesterday, and…”

Ruby met Yang’s concerned gaze.

“Violet’s fine.”

“I know.” Yang responded. “And she knows. She’s just…”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Ruby turned back towards her destination, crossing the seemingly infinite distance.

The front door closed to signal Yang’s departure.

Ruby took another deep breath, and knocked on the door to the bedroom.

The bedroom that, until recently, she’d thought of as hers.

Hers, and Blake’s.

“Blake, we need to talk.”

Four words.

Four words, and she lost her last out.

Four words that weren’t supposed to mean anything good in a relationship.

Four words that Ruby had put a huge amount of effort into avoiding.

Four words that one of them should have said a long, long time ago.

Either of them.

The fact that Blake had made her come all this way, and forced her to knock, despite certainly having overheard her conversation with Yang, implied she was having just as hard a time facing this as Ruby.

But it was too late now.

As Blake opened the door, Ruby noticed that her eyes were still red, but not wet, and not puffy. She’d been crying, but not immediately before this.

Ruby gestured for Blake to follow her out into the hallway. The thought of going into the bedroom caused her a brief panic. There was still too much emotion trapped in that room for her to enter it. She couldn’t do it. Blake, fortunately, complied.

“Where’s Violet?” Blake asked.

“Winter’s watching her.” Ruby replied. They’d previously talked about who might make a good babysitter for Violet, and Winter was consistently near the top of the list. Ruby hoped that would be enough.

“I just… I need to see her.” Blake pleaded, her breath hitching.

“And of course you can, but… after we talk. Please, Blake.”

Blake nodded mutely in response, leaning her back against the door to Violet’s room, and sliding down into a seated position, pulling her knees to her chest.

Ruby took another deep breath, and took a seat on the other side of the hall.

“So… You still have feelings for Yang, right?” Not that Ruby really needed any further confirmation. “Has that been there… the whole time?”

“Y-Yeah.” Blake confirmed. “From the beginning.”

“Is that why…” Ruby had to take another deep breath to continue. “Why you never said that you loved me?”

Blake took a deep breath of her own.

“Ruby, I…” Blake paused for a pregnant second. “I’ve never been in love with you, no.”

Ruby knew it was coming. She’d expected it. Anticipated it. Prepared for it. Braced for it in every way she thought possible. The words still shattered her heart.

“Not romantically, at least.” Blake continued. “Platonically, like a friend, or like a sister… I do love you, but I knew if I said that, you’d take it as…”

How long had Ruby waited to hear those words from Blake? For confirmation of her love? It was bittersweet to hear them now, even as it stomped across the shattered pieces of her heart. Blake was right about how Ruby would have taken it, but such a precaution had been pointless: Ruby had made that assumption even without the words.

“Then why did you…”

_ Kiss me. _

_ Date me. _

_ Sleep with me. _

_ Marry me. _

_ Have a  _ **_child_ ** _ with me. _

Ruby wasn’t sure which one to ask. 

It didn’t really matter. They were all the same question.

“Because you loved me.” Blake swallowed as her eyes began to water. “W-When no one else would.”

_ When Yang wouldn’t. _

“Blake, I…” Ruby collected herself. “I was definitely attracted to you, but… I had no intention of putting the moves on you, I didn’t want to… Blake,  _ you _ kissed  _ me. _ ”

“That was an accident.” Blake confessed guiltily.

“How do you accidentally kiss someone… like  _ that? _ ” Ruby had been caught off guard by their first kiss, but the intent behind it had been clear. Blake had  _ pulled _ Ruby into it. And it had been  _ very _ deep.

“I… I was tired, and emotional and… and I thought you were Yang.”

“For _five_ _minutes?_ ” Ruby raised an eyebrow.

“I… kept pretending, after I realized.” Blake sniffled. “I just… I felt so worthless… discarded… and you were definitely into it, so…”

“So you, what, pretended I was Yang? For over seven years?”

“Gods no, Ruby. I wasn’t… I’m not that delusional.” Blake shook her head. “But you were happy and… and it was something. Something that wasn’t the bone-crushing despair that Yang left me with. It was something that l-let me know that… that I was still worth loving.”

“Of course you’re still worth loving, Blake!” Ruby interjected. “You’re  _ wonderful! _ ”

“That’s just it, Ruby! I’m not!” Blake fought back a sob. “Look at how I hurt you! Look at how I ruined everything! Why are you being so  _ nice _ to me, Ruby! Why can’t you  _ hate _ me?”

The dam broke, and Blake was full on sobbing. Ruby reached out to place her left hand on Blake’s knee in an attempt to comfort her.

“I don’t  _ want _ to hate you, Blake.” Ruby replied, feeling her own cheeks get wet. “There’s too much hate in the world, as-is.”

“This would be so much easier if you just hated me!” Blake half-shouted. “Why, Ruby? Just… why?” She added quietly.

“It probably would be easier.” Ruby sighed, her breath hitching in the middle of it. “But there was too much good in there to just… throw all of it away, isn’t there?”

“T-There has been a lot of good.” Blake wiped at her face. “And that’s what made it so h-hard. I don’t know what’s  _ wrong _ with me, Ruby. You did everything you were supposed to, and I just, I couldn’t… I hoped one day it’d be enough and I’d actually… n-no, that’s a lie. One I’ve been telling myself. Honestly? I really hoped that one day you’d give me a reason to leave, but… you didn’t.”

“Is that what you meant? When you asked why I was being so nice?” Ruby inhaled slowly. “No one was forcing you to stay, Blake, if you were unhappy--”

“ _ I was. _ ” Blake cut Ruby off. “I was forcing myself to stay.” she added quietly. “Because you’re not  _ supposed _ to be unhappy with… w-with everything. Not supposed to be unhappy when you have everything you told yourself you wanted.”

“But you weren’t happy.” Ruby added glumly, releasing her grip on Blake’s knee. “I wish I’d known, I could have…”

“R-Ruby, the problem was never with you...” Blake shook her head as her breath hitched. “I-I know you wish you could fix it, but…” Blake took a deep breath. “There was n-nothing for you  _ to _ fix.”

“But I could have stopped you from making some of your mistakes.” Ruby sniffled. “I could have helped make you happy. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

_ I deluded myself into believing you were. _

“But w-what about your happiness, Ruby?” Blake looked up from her knees, and locked eyes with Ruby. “Y-You’re always giving it up f-for someone else’s sake. If I hadn’t already… already fucked it up so badly… w-would you have not allowed me to do the same?”

“Blake, that’s… that’s different.” Ruby sighed. “Yeah, I guess I put others before myself, but…”

Ruby looked away from Blake as she tried to come up with a reason why her situation might be different. At first, she was going to say that it was different because she shared these things, and talked about them with people, but now that she was on the spot, she had to admit, it simply wasn’t true. She kept  _ so many _ things to herself. Things she would let build up, and fester, until they exploded. Until they put her at risk of killing her own sister.

Ruby couldn’t take the high ground here. Kissing someone would never be worse than trying to kill them. Not that she knew which of them initiated the kissing. Not that she  _ wanted _ to know; the damage was the same either way.

Really, the only way it was different was that Ruby was not the one suffering in silence.

As she looked back, she realized that Blake was still waiting for her to finish.

“Okay, I guess it’s not that different.” Ruby pulled her own legs to her chest, shrinking under the admission. “But it doesn’t really work. Not if we never talk about it.”

“Y-Yeah… I tried to avoid hurting you and… ended up hurting you worse.” Blake shivered. “Gods, I’m a piece of work.”

“It’s not your…” Ruby halted in the middle of her automatic reaction. Now was not the time for further lies, no matter how eager she was to believe them herself. “It’s not…  _ entirely _ … your fault. I wasn’t exactly asking what you wanted… I just… I just assumed.”

“I-I guess…” Blake wiped at her face. “But I let you do that. I-I figured, if you were happy...”

“We need to stop guessing.” Ruby sighed. “Blake, what  _ do _ you want?”

“Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

“Well,” Blake swallowed. “I want Yang.”

“Yeah, I gathered.” Ruby forced out against the growing dryness of her throat. She had to get through this. Just get through this, and the wounds would fade with time.

“It’s not just that I… that I want her.” Blake’s shoulders lifted slightly and her ears perked up a bit. She took a deep breath and relaxed her legs. “Without her I’ve been feeling… incomplete. I’ve been wallowing around accepting my own misery but… when she’s around I… I’m more like myself again. Like she took a piece of me with her when she left all those years ago. I… I used to be so  _ driven _ . I wanted to make the world a better place for the Faunus. That dream didn’t die with the White Fang I just… I couldn’t do it anymore. N-Not without… her.” Blake’s ears flattened as she started retreating into herself again. “But I  _ want _ to. I want to see the world and help people, a-and advocate for Faunus rights, but…” Blake let out a short wail, before abruptly cutting herself off. “I-I’m not s-strong enough to make it e-even one n-night without Violet.”

Any semblance of composure Blake had gained while talking about Yang disappeared.

“Hey, hey…” Ruby placed her hand on Blake’s knee again, giving it a slight shake. “It’ll get easier with time.”

“A-Are you g-going to t-take h-her away from m-me?” Blake forced out between sobs.

“Of course not, Blake.”

“Y-You d-didn’t even w-want her in t-the first p-place.” Blake buried her face into her knees, shuddering as the sobs wracked her body.

Ruby recoiled. Where did Blake get  _ that _ idea?

Echoes flashed through Ruby’s head. Oz, beginning to tell Blake, and Yang, and  _ Violet _ , the truth of what she’d been involved with. He must have explained the… circumstances… behind Violet’s birth, and probably not in a flattering way.

That  _ definitely _ wasn’t something you told a kid about themself.

Ruby made a mental note to punch him in his stupid, deceptively young face next time she saw him.

But right now, they were trying to detangle the web of lies surrounding their lives, and Blake had already tugged on this knot. Ruby’s only option was to give up the truth here, too.

“Okay, look, I…” She began. “I don’t know what Oz told you but… I love Violet with all my heart, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. But… it’s true that I… maybe kinda didn’t think I’d ever want kids back when--”

“B-But you k-knew I did.” Blake shakily cut Ruby off.

“Well, I… yeah.” Ruby exhaled, defeated. “Oz was… perfectly okay with thrusting my DNA on some woman I’d never meet; making my child someone I’d never know. But that didn’t feel right to me, and… yeah, I knew you wanted kids. We’d talked about adoption enough. So I had Oz rig up the whole contest thing.”

Did Blake resent Ruby for that? Did she wish she’d never  _ had _ Violet? Ruby hoped not. The mere idea made her shudder.

“Maybe that wasn’t… the right thing for me to do, but…” Ruby continued. “You could have said ‘no’.”

Blake took a few deep breaths. Likely to calm herself enough to respond.

“I didn’t want to say ‘no’.” Blake said. “I wasn’t going to turn down my chance to have a kid, e-even if… it wasn’t exactly who I wanted it to be with.” Blake took another deep breath. “But I was supposed to want to, with you, r-right? You were my fiancé, and… t-the person I w-wanted to… wasn’t t-there.”

Blake was losing it again. Ruby decided to be strong for her, once more, regardless of how much it pained her to hear. It was an old mask for Ruby to wear; one that had likely been on her face more than off of it over the years. She reached over to take Blake’s hand, and gave it a squeeze.

“Okay, yeah, I guess there was some pressure on you. I’m sorry that I didn’t consider that when…” Ruby exhaled as the thought trailed off, before being replaced by a new one. “You… don’t regret having Violet, do you?”

Blake shook her head vigorously in response. 

“Of course n-not! I  _ love _ Violet.”

“It’s just…” Ruby glanced off to the side. “I don’t want you to feel like Violet’s another cage.”

_ Like your relationship with me apparently was. _

“She’s not.” Blake snapped. “She’s my  _ daughter _ , Ruby. I’d never… I d-didn’t mean to… didn’t want to hurt her…”

It was a sentiment Ruby was intimately familiar with. Her greatest regret in life remained how she’d reacted to Violet that night. And that wasn’t the only time she’d done something terrible in front of her daughter in the last two weeks.

“I don’t want to hurt her either. How are we going to handle Violet when we…” Ruby choked on the words meant to finish her sentence. It seemed like a forgone conclusion at this point, but no one had put it into words yet. Ruby was not capable of being the first one to say it.

_ Divorce _ .

Just thinking about the word rained hammer blows on Ruby’s stomach, but there was nowhere else this could go. Blake wasn’t happy in the marriage. Ruby couldn’t be happy with it if she knew Blake wasn’t. There was no way she could force something like  _ that _ on someone she loved. It was over. She’d  _ known _ it was over. But actually admitting it aloud, with the finality of the D-word, was still beyond her ability.

Blake gathered herself before responding. It took her a long minute.

“I… I don’t know. I don’t know how to be apart from her. But she  _ adores _ you.”

“She needs you, too.” Ruby replied.

_ I need you. _

The thought was unbidden, and unwanted. Ruby shoved it and her emotions aside with the force of logic and reason: she didn’t  _ need _ Blake. She  _ wanted _ Blake. It was an important distinction.

“You honestly do most of the work, in regards to her,” Ruby continued, “and she loves you for it. I don’t think making her choose is going to be good for her. But… you’re going to need to learn to spend  _ some _ time away from her. You were going to have to, anyway, since she’ll be starting school soon.”

“I know.” Blake shivered. “Gods, I would have been a wreck her first day of school either way.” Blake forced out an uneasy, pained chuckle. “I’m probably still going to be.” Blake inhaled sharply. “So you’re okay with… with joint custody.”

“Y-Yeah.” Ruby responded shakily. That was definitely the idea, but the term itself was just a little too close to the one she was trying to avoid.

“Then I’ll have to be, too.” Blake leaned back. There was a small knock as her head made contact with the door behind her.

“It’ll be okay.” Ruby said, as much to herself as Blake. “Even if it’s hard… you’re strong enough. I know you are.”

“I think… I think I can do this, yeah.” Blake shot Ruby an uneasy smile. The kind that fooled no one, but seeing Blake composed enough to at least try made it a lot easier on Ruby.

Blake’s next words did not.

“I guess the next step is going to be figuring out what all needs to be done to get divorced.”

There it was, out in the open. What they’d been discussing without discussing. The word struck Ruby like an icy boulder shot out of a cannon. Despite her attempts to be strong, she  _ visibly _ recoiled from it, causing concern to play across Blake’s face.

Ruby couldn’t ignore it forever, but right now? Right now it was too much. And, for the first time since Blake first kissed her, Ruby found a way to actually put that into words, rather than just muscle her way through.

“I don’t think I can… handle that… in the same day as… all this.” Ruby managed, doing her best not to grit her teeth. “I can’t fight that fight right now.”

“Doesn’t have to be a fight.” Blake responded. “The only thing I want is… is time with my daughter. Everything else…” she gestured around the apartment, “all of this is yours.”

Perhaps Blake had intended to disarm a fight with that, but she’d only started one that Ruby was unable to back down from.

“Blake, I can’t just throw you out on the street.” Ruby insisted. “This stuff is just as much yours as it is mine!”

“I can make due on my own. It’s about time I started taking care of myself again.” Blake countered. “And all of this was bought with  _ your _ money. I don’t need your charity.”

“Gods, you’re starting to sound like Weiss.” Ruby shook her head. “But even  _ she _ knows how to accept help sometimes.  _ You _ helped teach her that! It’s great that you want to be self-sufficient, but you don’t have to start from scratch! Just let me help...”

“I don’t deserve your help.” Blake slumped back into her knees. “I’ve already taken so much from you, and I just…” Blake sniffled as her tears resumed. “I-I probably don’t deserve Violet, either, b-but…”

Ruby leaned forward and shook Blake’s knee.

“H-Hey, Blake. None of that.” Ruby said softly, causing Blake to look up and lock eyes with her. “You don’t get to choose if you deserve it, or not. I say you do, so I’m going to help. And it’s not just for you… if it makes you feel better, I’m doing this for Violet, too. You’ll be able to take better care of her if you don’t have to worry about caring for yourself so much. And once your back on your feet, on your own? You can refuse my help then, but right now? You’re going to get my help, whether or not you want it. Besides… I can’t… it’s hard for me to be in this apartment right now. I can’t really live here. No point in letting it go to waste, right?”

Blake nodded slowly.

“You’re still too good for me, Ruby.”

“No,” Ruby began, releasing Blake’s knee and leaning backwards into the wall behind her. “I don’t think I am.” She could still remember the terror on her sister’s face, as clearly as if it had just happened. “But I still love you, and want you to be happy.” 

_ Even if it’s not with me. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! This chapter is the largest in the story!... for now. Next chapter will be more of a reversion to the mean, before the chapter after that wrecks the curve. If everything goes well, those chapters will happen Monday and Thursday, but... life, uh... has been finding a way... to keep me from having that ready. I need to finish out chapter 29 before I'm willing to post 28, which means there's a chance those chapters slip a week or two, and chapter 30 will follow to close out this posting group... after which... well, this story's probably gonna be hiatusing again as I work on writing the next group.
> 
> Incidentally, this chapter (and to a lesser extent, the previous one) is responsible for the majority of the wait between those initial posted chapters and this group. This chapter was written in chunks of less than 200 words... the, eh-heh, emotions of this got to me, and it was hard to get a consistent flow going. And those chunks needed to be spaced out, too. It's not like I could just knock out another the next day.
> 
> In fact, this chapter got to me so much that there's a version of it where Blake and Ruby break out into Spice Girls lyrics about halfway through because I needed some *levity* godsdamnit!
> 
> Still, for all the work that went into it, for how hard it was to do, I feel this chapter only benefited from the extra time and attention. For what it's worth, as I said Monday, I feel like this is the best chapter I've written so far, and I did *not* expect that to be the case when I was dreading this chapter coming up onto the writer's block.
> 
> Mixed metaphors aside, it's actually a relief to finally get this chapter out. I actually had to fight the urge to release it early, instead of sticking to the schedule. 
> 
> It has been... hard, for me to stay silent as people have talked about Blake. I've wanted to give people context for how she's gotten to this point, but at the same time, I knew it was the job of the story itself to provide that. Now... it's here. It's out. Nearly all the context is available. If you still hate Blake at this point -- as I'm sure many of you will -- you are now doing so from an informed position, and for me? That's much easier to handle than holding my tongue. I'm free of the pressure now; either you find her forgivable or you don't, and not much I do will change that going forward.
> 
> Ruby, of course, has chosen forgiveness. Make no mistake: the path of forgiveness is not the easy one, nor is it the least risky... but sometimes, it can be worth it.
> 
> But we've a long road yet to go.


	28. Chapter 28

As Yang Xiao Long rounded the corner around her sister’s apartment for the umpteenth time, she saw one of Weiss’s expensive cars pull in front of the building. She slowed her pace as she approached, and the driver exited the vehicle, coming around to open the back door.

Yang came to a stop as the first person stepped out. They were tall, and covered in a large, navy-colored cloak that went down almost far enough to cover their ghostly-white boots. A glance upward found a piercing blue glare, and Yang had to fight against the urge to resume running in the opposite direction as she recognized Winter. The cloak was  _ probably _ there to hide the fact that she was a ghost, and prevent a panic. The heavy fabric did  _ nothing _ to reduce the terror Yang felt, however, knowing the anger Winter was directing her way.

It wasn’t that she  _ couldn’t _ defend herself against Winter. It was that she wasn’t willing. When she’d started dating Weiss, Winter had made it clear what fate awaited those who hurt her sister, and Yang… had now broken her promise that she wouldn’t. Circumstances aside, she’d still hurt Weiss, and it was a fate she had no right to flee from.

Still, Winter hadn’t followed through, and she hoped that would continue. Even if it were a deserved penance, living was preferable to being tortured to death.

“Aunty Yang!” An excited blob of purple shot around Winter, and Violet latched to her leg.

Winter’s glare softened in the presence of Violet, who looked briefly looked back up towards Winter to gauge her reaction.

“Hey, kiddo, how you been?” Yang asked, kneeling down to match Violet’s height.

“I had a lot of fun!” Violet bounced up and down excitedly on the sidewalk. “Aunty Weiss’s place is really cool! And we even got ice cream on the way here!”

Yang raised an eyebrow, and shot a look up to Winter.

“Ice cream for breakfast, huh?”

Winter glanced away. Had it still be possible, Yang suspected there would have been a healthy blush to compliment the look of sheer embarrassment she carried. 

“Oh! It’s s’posed to be a secret!” Violet made a shushing motion. “Don’t let my moms know!”

Yang had always had trouble resisting Ruby’s puppy-dog eyes. Violet’s were even more effective.

“Your secret is safe with me.” Yang whispered back, making a crossing motion over her chest. 

Weiss, at this point, was rounding the other side of the vehicle to join the group.

“So.” Yang said more loudly, directed at Weiss “Since you’re all here, does that mean Ruby…”

“Yes.” Weiss confirmed. “She contacted us a few minutes ago.”

“Okay.” Yang chuckled uneasily as she stood. “Let’s go see what’s left of the place.”

The joke earned her a glare from Weiss, but Violet seemed too excited to notice. She continued to bounce as they made their way towards the top floor apartment. Winter knocked, and Blake answered almost immediately.

“Mommy!” Violet shouted as she rushed in Blake’s arms.

“Violet!” Blake responded as she scooped her daughter up, doing her best to hold back tears.

More of them, at least, her eyes were awfully red, and, looking into the apartment, so were Ruby’s. The place was intact, at least.

“Honey, you need a bath.” Blake insisted, earning a pout from Violet, who was still wearing her dress from the funeral.

“I wanted to take a bath at Aunty Weiss’s!” Violet glowered. “Her bathtub is like a swimming pool!”

“We didn’t have a change of clothes for you, Vi.” Ruby said as she stepped over to give her daughter a kiss on the forehead. “You can do that next time.”

Violet let out an indignant “hmph!” as Blake began wheeling her towards the bathroom. The group moved to follow, but after Weiss and Winter entered the apartment, Ruby stuck out her arm to stop Yang. After a quick glance back, Ruby stepped out into the hallway, and closed the door behind her.

“Hey.” Ruby managed meekly.

“Hey.” Yang responded in kind, getting the message that Ruby wanted to talk about  _ something _ , even if she didn’t know what.

“So… I talked to Blake.” Ruby continued, still dancing around the true meaning of the conversation.

“Did that go okay?” Yang offered, attempting to help her sister along.

“Y-Yeah.” Ruby nodded. “I think we both… needed that.”

“That’s good.” Was the only way Yang could think to respond, and there was a brief silence as she tried to figure out how to keep the conversation moving.

“I don’t want to stay mad at you.” Ruby said eventually, leaning into a wall and slumping as she did. “Either of you.”

“Ruby, I’m sorry, I--”

“I know you’ve been keeping your distance from Blake.” Ruby cut her off. “I know you’ve been doing it for my sake, but… I can see how it’s hurting her.”

“But I don’t want to hurt you… y’know… more than I already did.” Yang slumped against the wall opposite of Ruby.

“It doesn’t hurt--” Ruby began, before stopping herself abruptly. “Okay, yeah, it does hurt. It’s probably going to hurt me to see it but… I just want her to be happy. I want  _ you _ to be happy. I just want the people I love to be  _ happy! _ ”

Ruby’s voice broke as she finished, and began crying again.

“You don’t have to take everyone’s pain on yourself.” Yang sighed. “You’ve taken too much. You can just let us--”

“ _ You _ don’t have to keep hurting yourself.” Ruby insisted, drawing back to full height. “Maybe what I’m doing isn’t the healthiest thing in the world, but what you’ve been doing is  _ worse _ . You can’t keep hurting yourself because the rest of us are in pain! Do you have any idea how badly you hurt Blake when you left her?!”

“I… I do.” Yang began, steeling herself. “I know how much pain I caused, that’s why I have to--”

“Have to what, Yang?!” Ruby began stalking across the hall, causing Yang to shrink back from the onslaught of her smaller sibling. “Keep hurting her? Because  _ that’s _ what you’re doing.” Ruby slammed her metal fist into the wall beside Yang’s head, not hard enough to damage anything, but enough that the loud thud made a point. “How does it help  _ her _ to keep doing this? How does it help  _ you!? _ It sure doesn’t help me! I can get over it if it makes the two of you happy, but I can’t keep watching you do this! I love you, Yang! Stop hurting the people I love!”

Ruby’s lip quivered as she finished shouting, the tears that were already streaming down her face redoubled their efforts. The terrifying rage left her as she collapsed, like a small, hurt child, against her sister. Yang brought her arms around Ruby, awkwardly at first, but eventually settling into a comforting hug. She took a look around the hallway, noticing a few heads poking out to figure out what was going on, but they seemed to lose interest now that it no longer looked like a fight was about to break out.

The emotions crashed over Yang in a delayed wave, and she joined her sister in sobbing. It was hard to admit that Ruby was right. For all the effort she’d put in, all the pain she’d put herself through in an attempt to absolve her sins, she hadn’t managed to make things better. On the contrary, it had only been making things worse. Every attempt to punish herself ended up hurting others. She was now hurting herself, hurting Blake, and apparently even hurting Ruby, the person she was doing it for. None of them had received any benefit from this. There wasn’t a point. There hadn’t ever  _ been _ a point. The realization was painful, but freeing. How much time had she wasted? Perhaps she wouldn’t have to waste any more.

She sat there, leaning against the wall, holding her younger sister and crying for a long time, neither of them eager to break the contact.

“Okay, Ruby.” Yang eventually managed after regaining her composure. “I’ll… stop. If you’re  _ sure _ it’s okay with you then I’ll… do my best to make Blake happy.” And herself, of course, as a side effect. “But… I still don’t wanna hurt you, so, I’m not going to do anything when you’re around, you know.”

“You shouldn’t…” Ruby started, but stopped herself. “Actually… I’d… appreciate that, yeah.”

Yang nodded in response, and Ruby pushed slightly against her. Yang took the hint and released her sister, who wiped her face before staring her down again.

“But Yang? If you  _ ever _ hurt Blake like that again? I-I won’t stop next time.”

“Got it.” Yang provided meekly in response, sufficiently intimidated.

It hadn’t been all that long ago that her sister had thoroughly demolished her. 

Ruby gave a curt nod and gestured for Yang to follow her back to the apartment. She used her key this time. Perhaps that was a good sign that she was beginning to feel more comfortable in her own home again?

Weiss and Winter, whose cloak had been removed, were sitting on the couch, idly chatting with Blake as she sat on the floor with her back to the wall and brushed Violet’s still-damp hair. The child greeted them with a concerned look. Yang wondered how much of her conversation with Ruby had been picked up by her extra set of ears.

“Sorry. We’re back!” Ruby greeted the group with a warm, if perhaps forced, smile, before rounding into the living room and plopping into her easy chair.

Yang elected to post up on the middle chair next to the counter, sitting in it backwards, despite the fact that it was fully capable of swiveling to face the living room, and earning a scoff from Winter and a knowing eyeroll from Weiss.

Painfully aware of the fact that it was obvious she’d been crying, Yang elected to make an attempt to shift attention to someone else.

“So… Winter, I’m curious. How did you end up becoming a Maiden?”

Winter gawked uncharacteristically.

“ _ You _ know?” She demanded.

“Yes.” Blake confirmed. “Oz told… all of us.” She gestured towards Violet with her head.

“He’s getting kids involved in this  _ again? _ ” Winter fumed. “I’m going to wring his smarmy little neck!”

“Winter, no!” Weiss insisted, grabbing her sister’s arm. “You’re  _ done _ fighting. I need you as my  _ sister! _ Not a dead bodyguard!”

“I… I’m sorry, dear sister.” Winter leaned back, returning to a less readable expression. “I… am not yet used to this.” Winter forcefully exhaled. “To answer your question, Yang, it is… a very long story. And Ruby already knows… most of it.”

“We’ve got nothing but time.” Yang pressed, half interested in the actual story, half just trying to keep the focus on Winter.

“Very well.” Winter capitulated. “I suppose it best if I begin…” There was a pause as Winter prepared her story. “Near the beginning of my time with the Atlas military.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey! This one got put out on time! Y'know what that means? That means Chapter 29 hit alpha yesterday! Whoo! Still... it's over 9k words... so I can't *guarantee* that it'll be finished editing in time for Thursday, but I'll make an attempt. Be prepared for a possible delay, but not a super long one. After that, there'll be just one more chapter to close out this posting group, and it'll be a short one.
> 
> In the meantime, I actually posted a new story last night, after being hit by some sudden inspiration this weekend. If you want something lighter out of me (but not necessarily "light"), feel free to check out "Kinda Dead", which features a certain little red Reaper being brought back from the afterlife to fight monsters. 
> 
> And while I'm directing people towards other stories... consider checking out "Your Name" by SunshineChildx, which is... criminally underviewed. It's a beautifully written story that involves Blake and Yang randomly swapping bodies in a Modern-Japan-Themed AU, and once you get past the confusing prologue and the dialog punctuation style, it's well worth the read.


	29. Chapter 29

+-+-+-+

The public story was that Winter Schnee was no longer heir to the vast Schnee fortune because she’d joined the military. She’d committed to a dangerous career path, and was likely to die without producing an heir of her own. Though Jacques loved Winter dearly, they’d come to a mutual understanding that, for the good of the family name, her inheritance should be passed on to a younger sibling.

Only one part of the public explanation had any resemblance to the truth of the matter.

No, her inheritance was lost long before she’d decided to join the military. It was, perhaps, even lost before Jacques had made the decision. It may have even been lost the day she was born.

In truth, her joining the military had nothing at all to do with her inheritance, and everything to do with her achieving her freedom. Despite the strict regiment of rules and regulations, the military allowed her to live a life that Jacques never would. More importantly, it allowed her to  _ live. _

It also meant that, for the sake of public appearances, Jacques was forced to play nice. He could not completely disown her, nor could he prevent her from seeing the part of her family who actually loved her. Her honors prevented him from arranging “accidents” to get her out of his hair. He almost certainly would have if she’d simply moved into the world as an independent huntress, but the very last thing the SDC wanted was to be painted as anti-military. Patriotism and business requirements gave her a respite from his wrath.

The “mutual understanding” she’d come to with Jacques was that she would hold her tongue instead of telling the world what she really thought of the buffoon, lest she lose her leverage.

So even though General Ironwood pushed her harder than she’d ever been pushed before, and despite the severe limits placed on her freedom of choice by the nature of her profession, Winter threw herself into her work, developing a perfectionist zeal that she’d attempted to abandon in her youth. She felt as though she could never repay them for the opportunity to simply  _ be.  _

Her attempts to try, as well as her natural skill, lead her swiftly through the ranks. Within her first year, she was already known to be among the best of the famous Atlas Specialists.

She was, perhaps, too successful in the endeavor, as it inspired her younger sister to follow in her footsteps. Weiss insisted on becoming a huntress as well, and, noting that Winter’s freedom had not truly began until she’d left the academy, was dead set on leaving Atlas to do so.

To say Jacques was furious would be an understatement.

He’d sent mercenaries to interrupt her mission and deliver a message. She’d been forced to return early, and he demanded she make in appearance in his office. He’d called her every manner of terrible name or slur he could think of that might apply. He put an abundance of effort into attempting to tear her down before demanding she do something to stop her sister.

Winter had thought his power over her was gone. She’d already been torn down and rebuilt by the military. She’d already refused to give his relation to her a name. She’d told herself she’d become too strong to let him affect her. But though she’d remained outwardly unflappable, that relation still existed. It was still much more painful to hear from him than someone who’d been less involved in her life.

And so, before confronting her sister on the matter, she was forced to hide away for a minute, and to eliminate any evidence of her tears.

But unlike Jacques, Winter  _ understood _ Weiss. She knew what her sister was going through. She knew  _ exactly _ how to encourage the decision, while appearing outwardly opposed to it. Weiss only became stronger and more determined under her tutelage, even as her words appeared designed to drive her away.

Winter  _ wished _ she could tell Weiss how proud she was of her, but Jacques always had someone watching, and doing so would give up the game.

That only lasted until the cur pushed it too hard. He’d brought in a dangerous sort of Grimm -- a geist -- and allowed it to possess the object that would grant it the most raw power. He demanded Weiss face it -- and win -- if she wished to escape his suffocating grasp. He’d set up the situation to ensure that, if she did oppose his will, she would die in the attempt.

Except she didn’t. By the skin of her teeth and the space of an eyelash, she’d emerged victorious, Aura almost shattered and eye scarred by a powerful blow. 

And Jacques was still going to say “no”.

So as soon as Winter heard, she had stormed into his office. She drew her sword on him. She did not almost lose a sister to the man just so he could deny Weiss her well-earned prize. There, she threatened both his life, and -- indirectly -- her own. Fortunately, they were able to reach an accord.

But word of her behaviour, unbecoming of an officer such as she, had reached General Ironwood, and there -- leaving his office as Winter awaited her dressing-down -- she saw her for the first time.

Eyes a swirling grey with flecks of blue-ish green, like a stormcloud. A warm smile that split her face like the sun peaking through the clouds. A dark grey afro floating like a thunderhead above her. Ripples of athleticism concealed under a sharp dress uniform. Shoulders like mountains begging to be climbed. Legs that… caused Winter’s mind to drift into an entirely unprofessional area.

Winter had known many people who were -- objectively -- attractive, but she had never found herself smitten before. As the woman walked past, Winter felt that she  _ needed _ to say something. To draw her attention despite the dour circumstances that brought her here. Yet, Winter was speechless. Words failed her as the woman noticed her, that smile briefly growing just a tiny amount before settling into a neutral mask.

Flying in the face of the good order and discipline she’d cultivated, Winter found her mind wandering as the General lectured her. By the time she’d left his office, the only words she could remember had come at the end of the tirade:

“But, between you and me,” General Ironwood had said, “good job.”

In the several weeks that followed, Winter had spied the woman on three separate occasions. Normally, she wasn’t in the habit of counting her encounters with people she never spoke with, but the chemical balance of her infatuation was providing overwhelming pressure to invade her thoughts. Sometimes -- most of the time -- it simply wasn’t worth fighting.

But Winter made no progress towards learning who the woman was.

One fateful day, she was given a mission by General Ironwood: she was to assist an associate of Beacon’s headmaster in locating information on a scientist who’d disappeared, but not before he was forced to resign in disgrace. Winter  _ smelled _ the contact before she saw him: he wore his alcoholism as a cheap cologne. His name was Qrow, and it was hate at first sight. She hated him for reminding her of her mother, who had shut herself out of her children’s lives when they needed her most. She hated him for being more functional than said mother, despite imbibing even more. She hated the way he would flirt with her, as if he expected her to be attracted to… whatever it is he was. She hated the way he knew  _ exactly _ how to get under her skin, and that he wasn’t afraid to do it.

She hated that the fate of the world was somehow trusted to this… this…  _ absolute neandertal! _

Still, she persevered.  _ One _ of them had to be productive in the search.

Even if all their leads were winding up as dead ends, Qrow kept “finding” more. Most of which seemed to be nothing more than an excuse to hit up random bars, and for him to flirt with the patrons, both female, and male. She never approved of his lechery, but she held her tongue. 

Even if it was something she didn’t have  _ time _ for, even if she believed it was something she could never achieve, she was quite unwilling to deny someone else their attempt at happiness. It didn’t matter how much she  _ wanted _ to put him in his place. It was beneath her.

Until one fateful night.

It was their very last lead. Another bar. A small, surprisingly quiet one. One designed to respectfully serve the locals of this small section of Mantle after a hard day’s work in the mines.

Somehow, this wasn’t a dead end, or just another excuse to flirt. The bartender mentioned someone asleep in the storeroom, someone who matched the description of one of the scientist’s associates. Someone who was waiting to meet someone else within the bar, tonight, and had tipped the bartender well to ensure it went without a hitch. Qrow managed to convince the bartender that they were the contact they were waiting for.

Loathe as Winter was to admit it, the man’s charm was occasionally useful.

Then a small group entered the bar. A few friends shooting jokes back and forth.

As the final member of the group entered, with a mirthful laugh leaving her lips, Winter’s world stopped.

The woman she’d spied leaving the General’s office.

The one who had stolen more of her waking thoughts than Winter would care to admit.

And  _ every last one _ of her sleeping thoughts.

Unfortunately, Qrow did not fail to notice her awestruck expression as her eyes traced up and down the woman’s sequinned dress, fading from a striking silver to a lovely shade of blue. One that matched the eyes that were glued to it.

Then, Qrow decided he was going to get under her skin.

With a smirk, and a shudder-inducing wink, Qrow sauntered up to the group.

And, like always, he was flirting.

Winter liked to pretend it was just the pot of hate towards the man finally boiling over that lead to her knuckles sinking deep into his cheek and sending him tumbling out the bar window.

But the truth was, she was jealous.

Possessive and protective of someone she had no right to be.

At least, not yet.

Her first fight with Qrow was a bare-knuckled brawl. The man was infuriatingly fast, dodging more blows than he had any right to, but he squandered his reach advantage to get into her space with his smarmy grin. It was at this moment she elected to punch center mass, rather than his head. The blow to his stomach had him doubled over, and her follow-up knee to the nose finished with an all-too-satisfying crunch.

She twisted to follow the knee with a kick, but her heel caught in a crack in the street she was  _ certain _ had not been there before, and her ankle was wrenched violently as she tumbled.

Qrow was quick to capitalize, diving at her with an outstretched fist, but a voice like a thunderclap was even quicker to halt him. It also halted Winter, who had been readying herself to retaliate with her glyphs.

There may also have been an  _ actual _ thunderclap in there.

She rolled in like a storm, and soaked him with a deluge of chastisement that caused Qrow to cower. Winter gathered that the two of them knew each other, and it seemed she didn’t like the man any more than Winter did.

After Qrow skulked back into the bar to do damage control, the woman turned her stormy grey eyes to Winter.

“It wasn’t necessary for you to ‘defend my honor’,” she said with a hint of playfulness that had never peered through the clouds against Qrow, “you probably shouldn’t have.”

_ I didn’t do it for you. _ Winter was supposed to say, to protect her image of professionalism.

“It wasn’t  _ entirely _ for you.” Winter found herself saying instead settling on a half-truth, a rare smile emphasising the increasing color of her cheeks. “I’ve wanted to punch him for a while.” Winter finished, trying to salvage her reputation.

The clouds parted when she laughed. It was a little thing, scarcely more than a giggle, but the world lit up regardless, even down here in Mantle, where the looming specter of Atlas above blocked the sun.

“I know the feeling.” She said, offering Winter a helping hand to stand. “Autumn Rain.”

“Winter Schnee.” Winter said as she took the hand. She probably wouldn’t have accepted help from anyone else.

“I know.” Autumn laughed, and the world was wonderful. “Everyone knows.”

“I see my reputation precedes me.” Winter offered, smiling back.

“It does.” Autumn said, tone fading as though the clouds had rolled back in. “But I’m hoping you continue to prove it wrong.”

With anyone else, she might have asked what that was supposed to mean; she might have let her indignation fly free.

But, at the moment, she realized she was doing  _ something _ right. And this was progress she had no intention of halting.

So instead, she pushed forward, more boldly than she’d intended.

“Perhaps you’d be willing to give me the opportunity. Over dinner. Is Mike’s alright?”

Autumn laughed again, and the sun returned.

“Not some fancy five-star?” Autumn asked. Mike’s was well known to Atlas military members, being near the base and having the delectable sort of greasy food one could not find in any place with a prayer of being considered “upscale”. 

“Pretty sure you know us Specialists don’t make that kind of money.” Winter laughed despite herself. It was like she was a child again. “And I’ve long since stopped accepting Jacques’s.”

Autumn tapped her chin as she pondered, lips curling up in a sly smile.

“How ‘bout Seven tomorrow?”

“I shouldn’t have any conflicts with that.” Winter said the words without her usual stoicism. 

“Then it’s a date.” Autumn winked as she walked away.

Unfortunately, General Ironwood was less impressed with her decisions that night than Autumn had apparently been. The potential contact had fled during their fight. Since she’d thrown the punch that caused the damages, repairs would be deducted from her paycheck. The mission was over, which meant she no longer had to spend time around Qrow, but, as it was a failure, the ass-chewing she got from the General meant she was late for her date.

Fortunately, Autumn understood. They laughed and joked over greasy burgers. Even the inevitable question about why she wouldn’t have even a single beer with her food didn’t cut far into her happiness. For the first time in her life, Winter felt like she was truly allowed to be herself. Neither her father’s rules, nor her commanding officers’ seemed to matter for that night.

It ended with them both agreeing that they had fun, and that they should do it again, but the night finished with unkissed lips. Winter was disappointed in herself for feeling so relieved that Autumn seemed to have reservations about going that far yet, but Winter had her own.

She was not ready to believe that someone could find her attractive again.

That, despite the changes she’d fought to hide from the world, someone could actually  _ want _ her.

She’d spent too long feeling broken to give it up in an instant.

Instead, it took two more weeks, and six more dates, before she got the chance.

An unexpected rainstorm hit halfway through the date, and Autumn refused to go outside without something to cover her. Winter offered her jacket, expecting her date to  _ wear _ it, but was instead surprised to find Autumn holding it over her head. They took an unhurried pace back to their respective dormitories, laughing along the way, and Winter getting soaked to the bone. As they stepped inside Autumn’s, she found her coat being slipped back over her shoulders.

Then, a strong grip at her collar was pulling her down.

Their lips met.

Winter still wasn’t prepared. Truth be told, she would probably  _ never _ have been ready, left to her own devices. The self doubt was too strong. The only way she could have gotten ready to do it, was simply by doing it.

And as the tingle traced its way from her skull, down her spine, and all the way through the tips of her toes, she found herself wishing she’d been ready sooner.

When she finally returned home, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. A very un-Schnee-like dopey grin was plastered all over her face, and try as she might, she was unable to wipe it away.

She still had some reservations -- they weren’t entirely gone -- but now she  _ knew _ the benefit outweighed the cost.

And the benefits did not fade as the weeks went by, but her reservations were starting to. Her jawline never felt so right as it did when Autumn lovingly stroked it. Her shoulders had always been too wide until Autumn pointed out how much she loved them. Her eyes always too harsh until Autumn brought out the softness within.

Of course, there were other reservations. Winter was hardly ready to pursue further intimacy, and Autumn was incredibly touchy about her hair. Under no circumstances was Winter allowed to touch it, and she went to great lengths to ensure that Winter would  _ never _ see her with her hair wet. The first few times, it wasn’t terribly obvious that was the goal, but Winter was observant, and it eventually became rather conspicuous. Still, she wouldn’t ask Autumn to reveal her secrets while she played her own so close to the chest.

The missions didn’t stop for either of them, but they stole time together where they could in between. After those early weeks of downtime together, that mostly meant a date or two a month, but distance only made Winter’s heart grow fonder, and Autumn seemed the same, but it still felt like their relationship moved in slow motion.

A chance opportunity sent Winter on a mission to Vale just in time for the Vytal festival. Usually, such a mission would have been beneath her, but she volunteered for the opportunity to see her sister. She missed Weiss dearly, and sometimes the letters simply weren’t enough. Besides, she needed the opportunity to size up this Team Leader who had taken an “interest” in Weiss, even if her Younger sister seemed oblivious to it. Inexperienced in life and love, she supposed, but Winter could honestly only  _ pretend _ to be any better in that regard.

Still, her landing in Vale left her only minorly whelmed with the girl, but at least Weiss seemed to have no real issues keeping her under control. And the girl wasn’t bad so much as… awkward. Made sense with her being the youngest to ever attend the academy. It was something she was sure to grow out of… and maybe then, she might catch Weiss’s eye, and Winter would be spared having to carry out her big sister duties on anyone truly objectionable.

She was also, perhaps, harsher than she needed to be with Weiss, but the role she’d played in motivating her sister slipped on like an old shoe, and in all likelihood, Jacques had someone watching anyway. She didn’t truly  _ mean _ much of it, but at the very least, she knew Weiss responded well to that sort of tutelage; she would not be doing her sister’s dreams any harm by keeping up the act. Still, she elected to seek out a quieter time, to be softer to her sister.

Unfortunately, Qrow was also there. He provoked her. Perhaps just to show he could. She was  _ winning _ the fight when it was stopped -- she’d landed two hits to his none, and was sure she was holding back more than he was -- but Qrow got the last laugh. Even though General Ironwood was initially supportive, he capitulated to Qrow faster than a Sea Feilong sinking a small ship. She was being sent back to Atlas to prevent her from interfering with  _ his _ mission. As if the lazy jackass did any  _ actual _ work!

She was given one last afternoon with Weiss, and while she made great strides towards mending her relationship with her sister, she ultimately missed her chance to share any details about her own relationship. Every time an opportunity came up to say something, all she could think of was what Jacques would say if word got back to him; how he would insist that she shouldn’t have gone through it at all if she were going to date women. As if she had any real choice. As if that had anything to do with how things worked. It was not a fight she was eager to rehash.

So she left without sharing her happiness with the only living blood relation she actually wanted to. She’d never managed to work up the nerve.

The one good thing about her early departure was that she would have a few extra days with Autumn, as her girlfriend’s mission would be ending the day after.

Autumn ended up returning as the Vytal Festival broadcast was cut off; the CCT rendered inoperable. She’d scarcely dropped off her bags before Winter found her arms, her tears leaking out the impotence she felt for not being able to  _ be there _ for her sister. She shared her regrets and her fears with Autumn that night. It was the first time she’d cried in front of someone else since she was a small child; she’d even managed to mask her emotions when she’d started the hormones, but right now, she needed the comfort, and Autumn obliged.

Winter eventually cried herself to sleep in her girlfriend’s arms.

She came to the next morning with Autumn’s arms wrapped around her. Her girlfriend was still asleep, still leaned back in the same chair they’d collapsed in the night before, and still wrapped around her with a protective warmth designed to keep all the bad things in the world away.

But the bad things were still out there. They were affecting her sister, and Winter was never one to hide from evil. Indeed, she had signed up to  _ destroy _ it. She needed to check on her airship, to see if the engine repairs were done, or if there would be anything she could do to speed them up. If not, she needed to check once more if she could find an alternate way to reach Vale, even if her standing orders from General Ironwood forbid her from returning, and the Major General in charge was unwilling to concede on that point.

So she carefully made an effort to separate herself from Autumn without waking her. Slowly and carefully, she pried the arms off that were holding her down. She was doing great, until she began to stand; her cramped legs from the odd position prevented her from noticing the ankle Autumn had wrapped around her own. As she attempted to stand, this caused her to stumble slightly, and reach for the back of the chair for support. In her haste, her arm clipped through Autumn’s hair, bouncing off of something hard that tilted her head and caused her to awaken with a start.

In that moment, Winter realized  _ why _ she was so touchy about her hair.

Autumn had horns.

She was a  _ Faunus. _

And she was dating a  _ Schnee. _

Everything fell into place. Little choices and decisions, questions both unasked and unanswered, her early apprehension…

It all made sense.

Winter understood.

After all, she was hiding a horn of her own.

Apologies came swiftly. An explanation was given without admission of her exposure to Autumn’s secret. She was allowed to leave without further fuss.

They would need to  _ talk _ about their secrets, but now was neither the time nor the place.

Weiss was the priority.

Her airship’s engine would not be ready before tomorrow. She made  _ certain _ that the lead Mechanic knew to call her the  _ instant _ it was flyable. Colorfully gruesome threats may or may not have been involved.

Per the Major General’s orders, no other airship crew would offer her any support.

She was running out of options. 

_ He _ was the absolute  _ last _ person she wanted to be seen groveling at the feet of.

But Weiss was more important.

Jacques was kind enough to inform her that he had already seen to Weiss’s safety. He allowed himself a moment of vulnerability in front of her; one that took Winter entirely off guard. He mentioned, with  _ pride _ in his eyes, that he had been  _ told off _ by a fiery girl with dark-red hair who looked like she’d gone through hell and back, and made it  _ clear _ she would do so again for Weiss’s sake. He mentioned how he saw the way Weiss looked at her. Talked about how someone so strong and determined would make for a  _ proper Schnee spouse  _ for Weiss. Talked about it like he hadn’t put Winter through a personal hell for something similar.

Then, to add injury to insult, refused to help Winter reach Vale. Told her it was fine now. Told her the heroes had won. Told her that Vale was safe.

Like  _ hell _ it was.

Repairs to her personal airship were completed around 3AM. She was in the air within minutes, and gunned the throttle in order to leave the base faster than the Major General could reasonably scramble an intercept.

She arrived in Vale as the sun rose. She was happy to find General Ironwood in one piece -- if rather worse for wear -- and the mop-up for the remaining small pockets of Grimm and White Fang soldiers well underway. General Ironwood directed her towards Patch, warned her that Qrow would be there, and promised to have a word with the Major General.

Not Qrow, nor giant Grimm, nor anything else would keep her from her sister.

She “parked” her airship above the quaint little cabin she’d been told Team RWBY was holed up in. The gravity dust would keep it appropriately suspended, and it ensured the ship was only a few-glyph hops away. 

Qrow and a man named Taiyang were waiting for her as she leapt to the ground. They were somber. Qrow made no attempt to rile her; no efforts to get under her skin. Taiyang, meanwhile, was apparently the father to two of Weiss’s teammates, and the mystery of why Weiss had called them sisters despite their very different last names was cleared up. 

They ensured Winter was aware that Weiss would not be leaving her team against her will before they allowed her to enter, and that they would forcefully remove her if she tried.

She almost would have liked to see them try, given how they seemed more angry at each other than with her, but she had never had any intention of forcing Weiss into anything. Encouraging perhaps, but forcing? It was almost as though they had made her promise to continue to breathe.

The cabin was surprisingly comfy, but small. The ground level was no larger than the dormitory she’d been given as a Specialist, and the upper floor only had two bedrooms and a bathroom… well, three bedrooms if you counted the closet that had been converted into a “guest” room, but it wouldn’t have counted in the eyes of a real estate agent.

As she ascended the stairs, a dark haired head poked out of the guest room door. Ms. Belladonna, from what she could tell. The member of the team Weiss had written the least about.

She was without her usual bow.

She was a Faunus. 

Not that Winter minded, but she saw the panic that played across the girl’s face as she realized a second Schnee had entered the home.

Once again, the undesired and unearned part of her reputation preceded her.

The door was quickly closed, and Blake was gone.

At the end of the hall, she was told, was Ruby and Yang’s room, where Weiss was staying, and quite possibly still asleep, even though it was almost noon by this point.

After what they’d gone through, however, Winter was perfectly willing to allow them their rest.

But just in case… she knocked lightly on the door, quietly enough to escape notice, but she tapped out a pattern she and Weiss had used as children. Her breath hitched in her throat for what was only a moment, but seemed like an eternity before the door opened.

Judging by the bags under her eyes, and the coffee in her hand, Weiss was operating on even less sleep than Winter.

That didn’t stop her from dropping the mug and launching into a flying tackle-hug that almost certainly would have knocked Winter over if she weren’t considerably sturdier than her sister. Once she found her feet again, Winter allowed herself the indulgent vulnerability of relaxing into the embrace.

Behind her sister, she noticed the exuberant girl from the last time she was in Vale limping listlessly towards her. It was alarming to see the young Miss Rose looking so… lifeless. But… Winter supposed, she was alive, at least. 

Once she reached the Schnee sisters, Ruby didn’t hesitate to throw her arms around both of them, and join in the hug.

Ruby welcomed her as family.

And all at once, Winter realized that she was not the only family Weiss had anymore, and it was too hard to fight back the tears.

There was a rumbling of stomachs, and a suggestion that they all get some breakfast. Weiss offered to carry Ruby, and she agreed after only a small protest.

As Winter turned to lead them back to the house’s lower level, she realized that she was blocked by a golden flame.

Yang Xiao Long. Weiss’s other teammate. Ruby’s sister. The woman who’d attacked another student after the fight in cold blood. Her eyes were an angry red as she held out an arm to stop Winter from advancing.

The fact that it was her only arm did not escape Winter’s notice, and her ability to remain intimidating without the second certainly earned her a level of respect.

“I know you saw them.” Yang said. “But you’re not going to tell a single soul about it.”

At this point, she noticed that Blake was hiding behind Yang, bow present once more. She looked too timid for a proper huntress.

“I am… aware of my family’s reputation.” Winter answered, using her thumb to wipe away what was left of her tears. “But you needn’t concern yourselves.” She steeled herself. She’d thought she might have lost Weiss, and now, with that possibility fresh in her mind, she decided it was best not to delay telling her things. This was as good a time as any. “I… might be dating a Faunus, myself.”

The rest of the group shared an exclamation of incredulity. 

As much as she loved Weiss, Winter was well aware of the fact that some of Jacque’s opinions had impacted her sister’s views. She’d prepared herself for this fight; to have to explain her views on interacial relationships to Weiss. Even though, just over a day ago, she hadn’t even known herself.

She really wasn’t prepared for the answer Weiss did give, however.

“So when do I get to meet the lucky girl?”

Just like that, Weiss was rolling with it. And seemed genuinely happy for her! Winter had thought that part of why Blake hid behind the bow was to hide from her teammate, but maybe Weiss already knew… and maybe Weiss’s views had already been changed.

Winter let a smile crack through her mask of professionalism.

But, wait…

“How’d you know she was a ‘she’?” Winter asked.

“Seemed pretty obvious.” Weiss responded with a noncommittal shrug. “You were always looking at other women’s skirts, but I’ve never seen you wear one.”

Winter could feel her face flush, and the group shared a laugh at her expense.

Blake shared soft look with Yang, and the bow came off.

The group found its way down to the kitchen, and they caught up over a stack of pancakes. Winter was forced to admit, begrudgingly, that Qrow was quite good at making them.

Once their tales of wooing maidens (which Qrow had the nerve to tease her over) and fighting dragons (a story that seemed to strain credibility) were shared, and she was certain of her sister’s safety, Winter knew she needed to return to her duties. After everything that had happened, there would be widespread Grimm attacks, and a great need for skilled fighters.

And so she bid her sister and her team adieu. 

There was plenty of work in the following months. It didn’t really slow down until the CCT tower was restored, and even then, with a new Headmistress taking over Beacon, there was still plenty of unease in Vale to draw in the dark terrors.

She found herself working alongside fully trained Huntsmen and inexperienced students alike. She took a liking to two of the student teams in particular: teams CFVY and JNPR. Both were considered prodigies in their respective years, and both began slowly climbing towards outperforming the other run-of-the-mill Huntsmen under her command.

The clear star was Pyrrha Nikos. If Winter had sparred with her ten times, she wasn’t certain she could have won all of them, even with the student’s ankle in a cast. Her partner, Jaune Arc, seemed a sort of idiot savant: completely incapable himself, but with a penchant for improvisational strategy. He also carried an incredible drive to improve, and by the time Winter left, he was easily pulling his own weight. Their teammates, Ren and Nora, seemed opposites in many categories: power, speed, energy, extroversion… but they cared deeply for each other, and Winter got to watch their relationship blossom.

As for Team CFVY, she found herself fondest of its blind member: Fox. While she’d not gotten along with him at first, his snark eventually proved irresistible. Yatsuhashi, meanwhile, was a mountain of a man that couldn’t help but hold back. It took Winter a lot of effort to get him to finally let his power loose. The final two members, Coco and Velvet, spent most of the time dancing around each other’s throats. It wasn’t until she convinced them to go toe to toe in a no-holds-barred sparring match that the two finally got it out of their systems and started to get along. A little too well, perhaps.

In the meantime, she took frequent visits to Patch to see Weiss and her teammates. It turned out Qrow was much more agreeable with his nieces around… or perhaps that was down to how close he came to losing them. Weiss was the only member of Team RWBY to escape without a life-threatening injury, after all. Blake and Yang were constantly in each other’s orbits, and eventually warmed up to her. Meanwhile, Weiss was constantly doting on Ruby, and Winter was convinced that it wasn’t a matter of “if” they’d start dating, so much as “when”. 

Still, watching the budding relationships around her only made her miss her own. The CCT was down, so they had to rely on infrequently delivered letters. And Winter had techncially violated a direct order by coming down to Vale; she was fortunate General Ironwood restricted her punishment to staying around to help with the cleanup.

Of course, when the day arrived that General Ironwood offered to send her back to Atlas to personally protect some precious cargo, she didn’t hesitate to accept. Soon, she was back on Solitas, and, as soon as Autumn threw her arms around her, she was  _ home _ .

They spent hours in each other’s arms, discussing the previous months. Winter put a little extra emphasis on the Faunus she’d been working with, and how cute she thought her sister’s teammates were together. She wanted to make it obvious that she had no issues whatsoever with interractial relationships.

But she couldn’t help but notice how many times Autumn slipped back on her neutral mask during the conversation.

And after a few hours, Autumn made it clear that Winter had made it  _ too _ obvious.

“You know, don’t you?” Autumn asked quietly, the defeat in her voice distressing.

“I…” Winter decided against lying, and swallowed. “Might have bumped your hair. The morning before I left.”

“I see.” Autumn’s expression was professional, and closed off. Winter immediately missed the openness they’d been sharing. 

“I just… I know you have good reasons to keep that from me. And I know I wasn’t supposed to know. And… I’m sorry. I just… I wanted you to know that that doesn’t change anything for me. Nothing would, because I fell in love with  _ you _ , and not just part of you, or some  _ idea _ of--”

Winter was cut off by a soft finger on her lips.

“Love?” Autumn asked.

Winter could feel the embarrassment rise through her. It was too early for that, right? It had just slipped out!

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to, I just…”

“But it’s true?” Autumn pressed.

Winter nodded mutely in response.

“I can live with that.” Autumn’s smile returned before she closed the distance for a kiss.

That night, Winter spilled all of her her own secrets to Autumn, and was rewarded with a night more intimate than any they’d shared before. They’d bared their hearts to each other, and there were no more secrets to get in the way.

At least, that’s what Winter thought. And she wouldn’t learn otherwise until the following Vytal Festival.

The next year and a half or so were the happiest of Winter’s life. Both she and Weiss enjoyed a great deal of freedom from Jacques as his health took a turn for the worse and his more limited focus was directed elsewhere. She had a wonderful girlfriend who lit up her life like a ray of sunshine, bringing joy and happiness into a place that’d once only served as home to blizzards of torment before. Her natural skill and battlefield prowess had not gone unnoticed by her superiors, and she enjoyed more freedoms in that regard, as well. Her life was going better than she possibly could have imagined when she’d left home. 

Both she and Autumn were granted leave for the Festival, and they enjoyed their time in Mistral together. The night before the singles rounds began, Autumn surprised her with a ring. Simple, silver, and patterned after a curved Ram’s horn. There were no gemstones, but it was  _ perfect _ . And Winter was more than happy to give up a surname that had caused her nothing but pain.

They celebrated their engagement well into the night, and made a plan to tell Weiss and the others after day’s matches were over. They skipped a trip to the stadium in favor of a quieter, more intimate bar, where they could still hear themselves think, and could still hear each other.

Then, all hell broke loose. The White Fang attacked. Ruby lost her arm. Autumn was dragging Winter along, screaming into her scroll at someone she claimed to be Ozpin, despite the man being two years dead. They met up with a farm boy who spoke like an old man, Headmaster Goodwitch, Team JNPR, and General Ironwood. They argued about things and people Winter had never heard of. 

From their perch on the mountain, they watched a stampede of Goliaths trample their way into the city, and a Wyvern following not too far behind. Upon its back stood a pale woman. “Salem” was the only explanation Winter was offered.

Pyrrha and Autumn nodded to each other, as if they’d met before, and clasped their hands together. They outstretched the intertwined limbs towards the Wyvern, and their eyes began to glow with flame. A lightning storm formed out of nothing above the giant Grimm, and the bolts eventually managed to strike the beast down. 

There was a mad dash to reach the rampaging line of Goliaths. They’d slain three before entering the clearing that had once been city they left behind. There, in the center of the mess, stood the pale woman from before, flanked by a dark haired woman in an elaborate mask and a woman who looked like a simple bandit with elaborate tattoos. The farmboy directed an all-out assault on the pale woman -- Salem -- and to Winter’s surprise, the others followed his order without question. 

The assault saw Autumn and Pyrrha unleash more of the incredible, magical powers they had kept hidden from Winter against the woman, and she responded with similar abilities of her own. The farm boy joined in with his own magic, and more Huntsmen and Grimm gradually entered the fray. Winter did her best to shield the magic users’ flanks when the tide suddenly turned. Salem’s escorts turned their own magical powers against her. The force should have been overwhelming. Certainly, it stole all of the pale woman’s attention. As Salem buckled under the combined assault, Lie Ren managed to sneak behind her. A flash from Stormflower sent her head toppling away from her body.

Ren was the first to kill Salem that day.

He would not be the last to die by her hand.

He was engulfed in flame as Salem’s head reattached itself, and when the inferno cleared, there was naught but ash where he’d once stood. 

The fighting intensified. The Goliaths from earlier turned their attention back towards the group fighting Salem. Winter was pushing herself to her limit to keep her fianceé safe as Autumn battled the immortal Witch. 

Salem died.

Over.

And over.

And over again.

But she kept getting up.

She was endless as the hordes of Grimm that surrounded them.

Then, the bandit girl died. A small deathstalker had snuck inside her guard, and pinned her to the ground before she was crushed by a massive, magical boulder. This caused the masked woman to flee.

With her attention less divided, Salem turned her gaze to Autumn.

Winter watched in slow motion. Her feet were carrying her toward her fianceé at a million miles an hour and at zero. She formed a glyph in front of the slowly forming ice crystals. The ice shattered it as if it wasn’t even there.

Then, they shattered Autumn’s Aura. 

Autumn was impaled by three different icicle spears.

Winter reached her a moment too late. She would have  _ gladly _ taken the blow for herself.

But still… Winter tricked herself into believing that, with immediate medical attention, there was a chance that Autumn would survive.

Winter Cut through the icicles so that she could move Autumn, while leaving them in place to prevent blood loss. She carried Autumn’s limp form in her arms as she tried to reach help.

“I planned on being the one to carry you down the aisle.” Autumn weakly joked in a hushed whisper. It was at this moment that Winter realized exactly how she was carrying Autumn: Bridal Style.

“It’ll be okay.” Winter whispered back, blinking away tears. “You’ll still get to.”

“Winter… I love you… so much.” Autumn whispered weakly, running her fingers along Winter’s chin before being overcome by a coughing fit. A warm wetness splashed against Winter’s cheek: blood. Her lungs were filling with it. They were running out of time!

Winter wove time dilation into the glyphs she was using to accelerate herself towards the edge of the clearing. It required every ounce of concentration she had.

“I love you too.” She still managed. “And you’re going to be okay! It  _ has _ to be okay!”

“I’m… sorry…” Autumn barely whispered.

The world stopped.

The fingers against her chin went limp. 

The rest of the body in her arms followed them.

Winter’s heart stopped.

Her eyes exploded into flame.

Her heart beat a single, powerful pulse.

Autumn’s did not join it.

The cold realization that she was holding a corpse slid through her like spears of ice.

The next beat of her heart shattered it. It unleashed an icy inferno of power throughout her bones. She calmly set Autumn on the ground at the edge of the destruction, and began to march purposefully back towards Salem.

She watched Pyrrha’s Aura shatter as she fell into Jaune’s arms. She watched Professor Port drag a wounded Nora, kicking and screaming, away from the battlefield. She heard the farm boy scream for retreat.

She observed all these things.

But she did not notice them.

There was murder in her eyes, and she had focus for one and one only.

Salem.

Her heart slammed powerfully against her chest.

A bolt of lightning lanced from her fingertips as she approached. Salem was struck, and her body contorted and burned in a way that would destroy a normal foe.

Winter did not allow her the opportunity to recover. She tried a different element of her newfound power, and Salem’s body was crushed into a tiny ball. Another power, and the ball was smashed under a boulder. The paste reformed into a body, and Winter was already skewering it, both with her sword and icicles. When Salem began to heal, she decapitated her again. This time, as her head hit the ground, she crushed the skull under her boot, and incinerated the rest.

Winter lost track of how many times she’d killed Salem at around 100. The rest of the world didn’t matter. It was just her, and this demon. She followed Salem’s reforming corpse across the battlefield, keeping the pressure on. If she just killed her enough times… exhausted whatever regeneration abilities she had, Winter could end it. She could finally have her revenge. Her cold fury never abated, even as her movements became sluggish, and her body began to fail.

Suddenly, something was holding her back as Salem skittered away behind a wall of Grimm.

“Qrow, let me go!” Winter screamed, using her voice for the first time in hours. “You’re letting her get away!”

“I’m saving your life, damnit!” Qrow shouted back. “Autumn wouldn’t want you to die, too!”

“I can’t let her get away with this!” Winter screamed in return, pulling out of Qrow’s grasp, and tumbling to the ground.

“You can’t even stand.” Qrow said more quietly. “Come on, kiddo. You did what you could. It’s over.”

As Qrow dragged her away from the battlefield, she found herself eyeing the flask on Qrow’s hip. She tried to distract herself by wiping away invisible tears that had long since run dry.

That night, on an airship to Vale, as the farm boy tried to explain to her her new place in the world and the futility of her actions, she stole the flask. Qrow didn’t even try to stop her. That night, she had the first drink of her life.

It tasted like anguish.

It was perfect.

It wasn’t for another two days that she was sober enough to actually learn about Salem, the Maidens, the secret war that had been going on her entire life, and her new place in Ozpin’s inner circle. Pyrrha seemed to have healed extraordinarily fast, and she, Jaune, and Ruby were all already a part of it. 

It stung to know that Autumn had kept all this from her… but not enough to overcome the numbness that she was gone.

Still, Winter never removed the ring. A part of Autumn would live on, forever, inside of her and on her finger.

But, first, she needed time to grieve. 

Her initial training with Pyrrha was entirely half-assed. When she returned to Atlas, she stopped taking missions, and General Ironwood stopped trying to give them to her. The CCT’s were down, and with Salem claiming total victory over Mistral, plans were made to build a new tower in Argus to restore the network.

In the meantime, she spent her time in her room, discovering the joys of alcoholism.

She received a letter from Weiss, and it sat on her desk, unread, for three days.

When she finally opened it, she was struck by how the world had begun to pass her by. 

Weiss was dating her teammate, but not the one Winter had expected. She’d apparently stolen Yang away from Blake, and -- at least in her writing -- sounded happy. Winter had a moment of clarity. A reminder of how her mother had also let these moments pass her by, drowning her sorrows in alcohol.

She smashed every bottle she had stashed in her dorm, and checked herself into rehab.

Upon release, she informed General Ironwood she was going to Vale to check on her sister. She probably should have asked for permission, but in the battle that  _ really _ mattered, she’d become a more important piece than him.

Upon arriving, she made it a priority to pull young Miss Xiao Long aside and explain to her  _ exactly _ how many pieces she’d end up in if she ever hurt her sister. Team RWBY was making an admirable attempt to seem happy, but the specter of Mistral loomed over them. Ren had died, as had another of their friends, named “Sun”. Nora had disappeared a month after, and hadn’t been heard from since. It was assumed her fate was the same as every missing Huntress’s. Blake and Ruby had apparently gotten together, and Ruby was sporting a new arm, similar to her sister’s. 

And not a one of them felt like talking about the events that had led them there.

So, with Ruby’s encouragement, they decided to instead keep moving forward.

And over the next year, Winter realized that, even if she didn’t still have Autumn, she did have a family. The other members of Ozpin’s inner circle, Yang and Blake, the recently graduated Team CFVY… she had a family that went beyond blood. She had people who cared for her. She had people who  _ loved _ her. It wasn’t the same as what she’d lost, but it was still worth living for.

Then, Team RWBY, Pyrrha, and Jaune were graduating. Ozpin offered Pyrrha and Ruby teaching positions -- skipping the usual protocol -- and offered Ruby a very important pocket watch. Jacques announced that he would be retiring in one year, as his health would not allow him to continue much longer. Weiss would take over the company. She and Yang left to tour the world. Ruby, Blake, Pyrrha, and Jaune stayed behind.

Somehow, she became the only link between the two groups, and explanations as to why were not forthcoming. Even as Weiss and Yang appeared to be growing steadily more miserable, both continued to insist that everything was “fine”. 

Perhaps it was simply the effects of running the SDC? Winter did everything she could to ease her sister’s burdens, while still remaining cognizant of her missions.

For six years, this was her new normal.

Then Yang ran off to Vale. And Weiss followed.

Still no answers from either of them, but security tapes of the night before told her what she needed to know:

Yang had not only hurt Weiss, she’d punched her. Weiss lost a tooth.

And Winter would have been on the next flight out of Atlas herself if there weren’t credible reports of Grimm massing in Solitas. 

Yang’s murder could wait. She needed to make sure Weiss had something to come back to.

She’d been out for a stroll when the early warning sirens went off.

With as many Grimm were in the area, if Salem caused them all to attack, they would  _ need _ Winter to fight them off. 

She’d only began running towards the airfield when something heavy struck her back. It wasn’t enough to hurt her, but it stuck to her, and it seemed to expand like a balloon.

It made her too slow to dodge the rest of the incoming projectiles. Each hit weighed her down, and expanded into a rigid foam.

She tried to blast them off with her Maiden powers, but every attempt to use them only caused the foam to expand more rapidly, and grow heavier. 

Soon, she was wrapped in a foam cocoon, trapped with only her face exposed.

It was at this point her assailants decided to show themselves.

“Took forever to get that formulation right.” Dr. Watts said casually. “Trapping a Maiden is tricky business… but Salem wanted to make sure  _ you _ were the first to suffer after what you did to her in Mistral.”

Winter tried once more to blast her way out in anger, and the foam only expanded more.

“Please, stop that.” Dr. Watts continued. “I’d rather not be forced to dig you out. Emerald, hurry up!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m hurrying.” Emerald said as she stepped into view, adjusting an ornate glove on her hand.

Winter recognized it from Qrow’s descriptions.

They intended to steal her Maiden powers.

Winter knew what she had to do… if she still could.

She closed her eyes, and focused on Weiss. She wouldn’t be able to protect her sister any longer, but… at least she could give her more power to protect herself.

She shuddered as she directed her power inward, away from the foam. There was a searing pain in her chest as her heart burned itself out. She felt the flames tear their way through her body… then, she had a thought.

A crazy thought.

But it was worth a try, wasn’t it?

After all, she still had the full measure of her Aura.

And she had just killed herself.

So what if..?

The next thing she remembered, she was standing atop a building overlooking the scene. Emerald crying out in anguish as her body burned away. Her hands were ghostly white, and she could feel her aura ticking away. 

She tried to use her magic, but it was long gone.

Hopefully to Weiss.

Well, at this point, it was unlikely to be able to help.

Atlas would fall tonight.

But Weiss… Weiss would be safe.

She took off towards the sea. She’d at least  _ attempt _ to see her sister one last time.

+-+-+-+

As Winter finished an abridged version of her story -- one stripped of the more private moments, that toned down the violence for the audience, and kept her personal opinions on their relationships to herself -- she took a look around the room. Without her voice, the only sound in the apartment was the ticking of a clock.

The other four adults in the room were all lost in their own thoughts… the story had probably brought up unpleasant memories for all of them. For her own part, she found herself idly turning the ghostly ring around her finger, memories assaulting her once more as she continued to regret her newfound inability to cry. Violet, meanwhile, was hearing the story with fresh ears, and seemed enamored with it, even if Winter wasn’t sure the girl had followed all of it.

Nonetheless, Violet seemed adept at reading the room. She hopped up from her seat in Blake’s lap to run over and offer Winter a hug, one she was happy to return. She then moved over to Ruby, to hug her as well, then turned around to do the same for Weiss, then Yang, then, as she returned to her spot, Blake.

And the room was suddenly a little less cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter of this posting group will go up Thursday. After that, I’m not sure exactly when updates will resume… but we’d be looking at one or two posting groups to finish out the story. I just gotta *write* it. ;)
> 
> And this chapter is more than twice the length of the previous longest! Hoo boy, it was a lot of work. You almost certainly won’t get another chapter of this length out of me… and this one’s only as long as it is because it’s trying to tell a story that could really be its own novel in one go.
> 
> In service of that goal, the style here is a tad experimental for me… but don’t expect to see if happen again this story. If you liked it, that’s great, but if you didn’t… well, at least know that this’ll be the only time you have to deal with it.
> 
> This chapter made me really feel the idea of “perfection is the enemy of progress”. A lot of these scenes, I feel like I could make them better if I spent just a little more time on them… but I’ve already spent so much, and at some point, I need to move on to the rest of the story. Yeah, there’s a lot of important backstory stuff being dropped in here, but… most of it not so important that it’ll kill you to miss.
> 
> Speaking of things that people may miss… I just want to outright confirm it: Winter is transgender in this story. If that’s something you know about, I am being incredibly unsubtle here, but if you are unaware of the day to day doldrums of our existence, it might go over your head. Or we might end up with a few people in a “Sappho and her Friend” situation. So… if people are trying to deny it, well, here’s your author confirmation.
> 
> And ultimately it’s a thing because I was wondering why Winter was so much taller than Weiss. This is a possible explanation, but one I doubt will make it into the show. Sometimes siblings are just really different heights. I should know: my brother’s like a foot shorter than me.
> 
> And man… I just can’t stop hurting my favorite characters, can I? Well, we’ll get more focused on healing eventually. And I’m pretty close to being out of relevant past events to dump on y’all. So maybe I *will* stop! 
> 
> *Checks outline for last few chapters of the story*
> 
> Eh heh heh… or… maybe I won’t. :P


	30. Chapter 30

Blake Belladonna cowered under the imposing figure of her wife. Ruby stood tall. Taller than she should have. And her eyes were covered. Where she’d gotten the White Fang mask, Blake was never sure. 

And when Ruby spoke to her, it wasn’t in her own voice.

It was in Adam’s. 

“Trying to run away again?” The Ruby-Adam hybrid asked, but the tsks that followed indicated that it wasn’t a question. “You should know better by now. We’ve all told you not to. Ilia. Yang. Adam. Me. You’re here because you promised. Because you didn’t want to break another one. And because you know better than to tell me ‘no’.”

How many times had Adam drilled it into her? “I am not the bad guy.” “Don’t make me the bad guy.” “I’m the hero, so what I want is what’s right.” “Don’t hurt the hero, Blake.”

Blake knew what Ruby-Adam really meant.

“I-I didn’t mean to hurt you…” Blake stuttered weakly.

“But you did, Blake.” It started with Ruby’s voice, before finishing in Adam’s. “Even though I was better this time. Even though I showed myself to be the hero, not only in word, but in deed. I lost an arm for you, Blake. And unlike that weak bitch you crawled back to, I didn’t let it stop me. I kept fighting without it! Shouldn’t that earn me happiness, Blake? Don’t I deserve it?”

Ruby-Adam’s expression was unreadable. Blake had always hated the mask, but honestly, Ruby was good enough at hiding it without the mask, too. They were all always wearing masks, even though she’d thrown away her own physical version so long ago. 

“O-Of course you do, Ruby… I-I…” Blake barely managed.

“You _what_ , Blake? You’re _sorry?_ Sorry doesn’t fix this. Sorry doesn’t make me happy. Me. The only person to not abandon you. The only person to love you when they all left. When _Yang_ left.” Ruby-Adam crossed her arms, and faced away. She hated when they did that. Either of them. Closed her off. Made her feel guilty. It was more an Adam move than a Ruby one, but she’d gotten it from both.

“Y-You hurt me too…” Blake tried to find her voice. Tried to stand up against the assault. “You tried to k--”

“I made _one_ mistake!” Ruby-Adam shouted back, turning to face her. “You gave Adam chances. You gave _Yang_ chances! Do I not deserve chances? I’m the hero, Blake! My one mistake shouldn’t ruin _everything!_ ”

Blake found herself shrinking back; her counterassault wilting under the hidden glare.

Ruby-Adam kneeled over her, making her feel small. Like a child. The hand on her knee was supposed to be reassuring, but the gentle outward pressure implied other intentions.

“That’s why you don’t get to say ‘no’, Blake.” Ruby-Adam said, barely above a whisper. “That’s why, when I ask if you want something, you say ‘yes’. You say ‘yes’ when I ask if you want to date me. You say ‘yes’ when I ask you if you want to move in with me. You say ‘yes’ when I ask you to _fuck_ me. You say ‘yes’ when I ask if you want to marry me. You say ‘yes’ when I ask if you want to bear my child. Because if you say ‘no’, I’m the bad guy. But I can’t be the bad guy. I’m the hero. So you don’t say ‘no’.” The pressure against her knee increased. “And you don’t get to say ‘no’ now, either.”

Blake began to sob, trying to stay silent. Trying to not let Ruby see her making her the bad guy again.

There was a shaking on her shoulders, and she realized her sobs had been anything but silent. Her eyes snapped open. The pair they met were not silver. Nor were they a mismatched blue and red. They were violet. They were concerned. They were warm and welcoming. They were Yang’s.

Because Ruby wasn’t Adam. Ruby hadn’t tried to kill Yang when she realized where Blake’s affections truly lied. Ruby had instead sent Yang after her. Ruby was the reason Yang was here, instead of out on the couch. The reason Yang, the only person who had really figured out how to help her, to figure out what she really _needed,_ was back to comfort her again. 

Ruby hadn’t tried to punish Blake for making her the bad guy.

Ruby wasn’t at all like Adam.

Blake was the real villain here.

A thought which only made her feel worse.

But, for the first time in _years_ , Yang was here. Breathing life back into her. Reminding her of what it was like to be alive again.

It wasn’t Ruby’s fault, though. It wasn’t her fault that she never noticed. It wasn’t her fault Blake hadn’t said “no”, even when she had wanted to. It wasn’t her fault that these dreams had started up the one time Ruby had lost control. It wasn’t her fault that she deserved so much more than Blake could give her. It wasn’t Ruby’s fault that Blake had failed to provide that. That Blake had been so weak as to fall to her own desires.

It wasn’t Ruby’s fault that, as soon as Blake had remembered what she’d been missing, there was no chance of going back to the lie.

So as Yang held her tight -- helping her feel calm, helping her feel _welcome_ \-- Blake prayed that Ruby would find another way forward: a way to find her happiness once more.

Because for the first time in years, Blake was no longer certain her own was an impossible dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that wraps up the second grouping of chapters in this story! Which means, unfortunately, I can't give you any sort of firm date on when updates will resume. Going into this grouping, I had hoped that I could at least get a good start on writing further chapters, but I didn't really find the time. Still, I *should* be past the stuff that is... emotionally difficult for me to write, so as I do find time to do it, progress should be steady. Trust me, the delay is not for a lack of inspiration or direction.
> 
> Depending on how things go, the next posting group will either be the last or the second last. We'll see. The number of chapters in the story will almost certainly increase from what's projected, in the meantime. I'll have firmer numbers once I return from Hiatus, I'm sure.
> 
> This chapter, meanwhile, wasn't originally intended to be a part of this posting group, or really, the story as I initially envisioned it. There were no initial plans to do anything from Blake's perspective, but as I finished the two chapters where Blake talks it out with Yang and Ruby, I realized there was something still left in the shadows. Not invisible, mind you, but there was nothing directly in this story really dealing with Adam's lingering influence over her... which, for something so instrumental in driving her decisions, seems like it was a bit of an oversight on my part.
> 
> With that in mind, Blake still did the things she did. Her reasons for doing so do not change the results. There is a reason I have been using the word "Forgivable", as none of the four are innocent. What's done is done. All they can do is continue to move forward, try not to make mistakes again in the future, and try to be a positive influence in other's lives. 
> 
> Or they can fail at those things, make things worse, and hurt people more. It's not ideal, but it's how it goes for a lot of people. It's why cutting people out of your life entirely can be the healthier option.
> 
> Because, even if you are "Forgivable", forgiveness remains something that must be *earned*.
> 
> ...and I'll leave off on that ominous note for... probably the next few months. :P


End file.
